I have a friend I’ve known about four years. We get on brilliantly, but we’re more drinking buddies then extremely close BFFs. We go out dancing every once in a while, or we sit in my garden long summer evenings chatting away and listening to music.
The thing is, she always wants to stay over. Once, she plonked herself on my couch and said she was too tired to go home and she was sleeping right there. The thing is, she’s a heavy drinker (she said she wet herself once), and my couch is quite delicate. The likelihood of it slim, but can’t stop thinking of that whenever she asks. We live in London and the different forms of transport that could get her home are almost limitless.
I just generally don’t like people being at my place for long periods of time, I’ve had my fingers burnt with a couple of snoopers, one of them is my mother!
She always does this, including just the other night, she plonked herself on my bed and said she wasn’t going anywhere. I laughed it off and playfully dragged her off and said I was tired and needed sleep. She was pouting and I think was genuinely down about being asked to leave.
I might consider letting her stay once in a while if she kept in her lane, but she’s spoken of crashing with me for a days at a time, also inviting her various dates to my place, and I don’t know them from Adam! Neither does she! Maybe she thinks my place is a public lounge? This was a no of course. She knows not to ask now.
She is a very sweet outgoing fun girl, and would do anything for anyone, one of the nicest people I know, and I value her friendship and company, but her lifestyle is a bit wild for me and I don’t want to get sucked into all of that. I do still want her to visit for a fun catch up occasionally.
How do I get her to stop asking without hurting her feelings? I don’t want to lie.