DH and I have one DD aged 2. We’ve each have at least one “night out” per month with our own friends and the other does the childcare. It’s done very fairly and I have no issues - except with how casual DH is about it all.
The week before the “lads” night out, I’ll ask him where they’re going and he’ll just say he doesn’t know, they don’t have a plan yet. But that’ll be their response the night before too; he says they’ll just be playing it by ear and going where the mood takes them. When I point out they might not get in places unless they plan ahead he just says they’re going to pubs, so no issue, and that he’s not worried about it, so I shouldn’t be.
The day after the night out I’ll ask where they went and he’ll answer. But if I ask after anyone (e.g. how’s Dave’s wife?) he just says he doesn’t know and they don’t talk about that kind of stuff. At the last one, his friend told them that he planned on proposing to his girlfriend…. but he forget to tell me for four days despite me asking if there was anything new!
AIBU unreasonable to think he should be less casual?