Health Anxiety or something seriously wrong?

[Possiblycrazy212]

Hi guys, first time poster here but long time luker just looking for some reassurance maybe.

Long story short I had bleeding after using passing stool last November, toilet water went bright red but nothing on stool as far as I could tell. Happened again in December so I went to see GP who did usual DRE and felt tummy but felt nothing and said probably piles. Said they'd put in a referral for a sigmoidscopy so I left it at that. Everything was fine then until March this year when it suddenly happened again only this time not as much and definitely felt like I'd cut myself. Again went back to GP and same tests done with nothing found again, told they'd chase up the scope. Didn't happen again until June but this time was due to diarrhea and again wasn't filling the bowl but looked like red mucus in bottom of bowl. At this point is was pregnant and at my wits end so of course I googled (which I know is a massive mistake as I suffer terribly with health anxiety) and it brought up bowel cancer which I've now unfortunately been convinced I have ever since.

I went back to my GP again, was examined again and explained my fears. Was told they didn't think it was bowel cancer but if I wanted to I could do a FIT test for reassurance. In this time I had found what I believed to be piles, they only appear when bearing down and i managed to get a photo of them hoping I could possibly show them to GP at next visit. Anyway I did the FIT test and wasn't bleeding at the time so was shocked to find it had come back positive at 41. Was referred to a consultant at hospital who told me it was a very low positive, that he wasn't at all concerned. Flat out said I don't have bowel cancer despite the fact he did no examinations on me but said my symptoms didn't sound like typical symptoms he sees. Showed him the photo I'd taken and he confirmed piles and said they were probably the reason for the positive FIT test especially as I'd strained whilst doing the sample. Before I left he said if I was still bleeding by 28 weeks pregnant to call him and arrange the sigmoidscopy again.

So now I've just been left to accept this but I feel like I can't. I haven't had anymore bleeding since the last time in June. My bowels were a bit odd since becoming pregnant but I upped my fibre intake and now I go once a day with no issues. The problem is now every little sensation or ache and pain I get I'm convinced is because I have bowel cancer that has been missed and has now spread to my other organs. My iron was fine at my booking appointment but I'm scared that my next lot won't be and if they're not I know I'll be convinced it's because of the cancer I think I have rather than the fact I'm pregnant.

I'm so sorry this is so long, I'm just so scared every day and have no idea if I'm being ridiculous or not. I wake up every day feeling terrible and I can't enjoy being pregnant because I'm convinced I'm not going to be here to watch my baby grow up.

Hope someone reads this and if not I completely understand

Has anyone mentioned an anal fissure ?
I had one of these in pregnancy, and my piles always flared up in pregnancy. I got piles after having my first.

There's never really any pain with the bleeding apart from the one time in March. I did have a small fissure a few weeks ago and the blood from that was minuscule.

And I understand your anxiety. There seemed to be a lot of women getting breast cancer when I was pregnant with one of mine. I found a lump in my breast and had myself dead and buried before my baby was 1 year old. Turned out to be a milk gland, a normal thing in breast changes during pregnancy.
The best thing you can do is tell your GP and MW exactly how you are feeling. They won’t think you stupid, but they can’t help if they don’t know.

My fissure used to bleed like I’d cut an artery !

When I had a similar issue the doc said if the blood was bright red then its usually nothing to worry about but if its like a dark jam it could be something more serious.

My GP and midwife are both aware. Like I said I've seen around 6 GPs at this point and none of them seem particularly concerned which I know should make me feel better but because I've read so so many stories of people my age being dismissed until it's too late I can't stop thinking I'll be the same.

The blood has always been bright red. I think it's the positive FIT test when I had no visible bleeding at the time is what has spooked me the most.

I mean about how anxious you are.

They know about my anxiety, I was referred for CBT online which I did but it hasn't been helpful. The therapists way of me dealing with it was by ignoring it which I can't physically do.

The whole point of that test is that it picks up on non visible stuff. The consultant has said nor to worry so I wouldn't, it likely is pikes and yes, your health anxiety is imagining the worst.

I know, I know. I realise how ridiculous this all sounds, especially as I'm only 25. I just think I've read so many horror stories about this being missed in people of my age that I've convinced myself I will end up the same way.

Have you had the sigmoidoscopy? Or are you still waiting?
FIT test only show blood so if there is already a history of rectal bleeding there is little point in doing them , blood can be there from piles even if it looks like there isn’t any . Have seen lots of FITs which are high and no bowel cancer found so assumed to be due to piles or a fissure .

Your consultation has absolutely no reason to lie to you. If they thought there was even the tiniest chance you had bowel cancer, they would tell you. They have confirmed that you definitely have piles.

The fact that there was no visible blood in the test isn’t relevant - the whole point of the test is to pick up on things that aren’t visible.

You do not have cancer. You definitely need some help with your anxiety though.

You know that your aches and changes (and the piles) are due to your pregnancy. Fears about the future are almost a requirement of being pregnant - if it wasn't about that, it would be something else like the environment, pollution, infections, car accidents, not being loved, something happening to loved ones, childbirth; the list of things that terrify pregnant women in particular is endless. And it's also very common for a whole new batch of anxieties to spring up after birth, with or without PND.

Your bowel function is normal, you've got piles, your anxiety is horrible to suffer but is also not unusual. What you need most is support - the professionals are giving you the support they can in that you've had tests, they're not concerned but will act on it if you are still having symptoms - but that's practical support when I think you need emotional support.

It's OK. You're not being stupid or ridiculous, it's a completely new experience, physically and mentally and the start of a completely different life. Find the support you need - partner, friends, new friends, activities that make you feel good, time to enjoy the movements of your baby and look forward to the day you hold them for the first time - and support for the time after you've given birth, including an awareness of signs that you might need to see the GP for emotional as well as any physical illness.

The horror stories are published because they are so rare and you're already worried about it so you notice them more - if your anxiety was focused upon the dangers of air travel, you'd be noticing stories about crashes and near misses, men wearing blue hats, you see stories about bad things done by men wearing hats. That's what the therapist could have been alluding to with 'ignoring it' - you're unconsciously looking for things that confirm your worries, rather than allowing your rational brain to say 'It's fine, I'm being taken seriously and they aren't concerned, but will act if there are further symptoms. I don't need to lie awake worrying about this now. I can notice things but not catastrophise. I'm having a baby after all. And piles are really annoying'.

It's OK. It's all in hand. Enjoy the little feet dropkicking your bladder or the feeling of a baby with hiccups (that novelty wears off when it happens at 3.06am for the fifth night in a row and the baby's head is either near your bladder or right under your ribs, by the way). And try to enjoy the golden light of Autumn, crisp, fresh mornings, being able to eat something without throwing up now you're past 12 weeks or 32 in my case, anything that is good, safe and relaxing or makes you smile.

I haven't had it yet as I'm only 25 weeks atm and I haven't had anymore bleeding since June. My FIT test result was 41 which the consultant and my GP said it apparently a low positive.

I know you're right and my partner keeps telling me the same thing. Anxiety is such a horrible thing though that as soon as I get the slightest little ache or pain I go straight back to the worst possible scenario. My GP says I should feel very reassured that the the consultant isn't concerned as apparently he's the head guy for colorectal surgery and treatments in my city. But even this doesn't soothe me.

I really appreciate this comment because it does help me to put some things into perspective. I'm such an anxious person in general so I knew I'd struggle with certain things during pregnancy but the fear that I'm dying every single day is too much when all I want to do is enjoy this really special time in my life.

I feel awful on my family and my partner because they're all at their wits end with me. My partner especially is fed up of hearing about every single ache and pain I have and what terminal illness it could possibly be.

I just wish I could listen to the logical voice in my head and accept that because most of these changes have started after becoming pregnant that their most likely due to the child I'm currently growing.

Honestly I understand what you are going through. I'm going through the same thing. Health Anxiety is crippling. I was in A&E with bad back ache and stomach discomfort over the weekend after a ultrasound (111 recommended I go in case of it being my appendix). Bloods came back with some inflammation and infection but nothing was discovered or recommended and it wasn't severe enough I guess to give me anything (crp 11 / wb 11 necro 8) . I've not had any appetite where I have been so anxious and finally got a FIT done. I have hemorrhoids I think as if I strain I get (tmi) one pop out. I had some bloody mucus in my stool the other day which scared the crap out of me

I've always had issues with going to toilet to be quiet honest and wouldn't really know what my normal is. If it isn't one type of cancer, it's another in my mind.

Really hope you get a positive outcome op. Keep us updated