I have a 5 month old baby. My parents have never really been very bothered. By sibling has two children who my parents both love. So when I became pregnant I thought that love would be extended to my child. Unfortunately that was not the case.
My parents have continuously told me how much they miss my siblings children (they live 3 hours away) yet only see my child for an hour once every 2 weeks.
When I gave birth it was quite traumatic, I was only 31 weeks pregnant. So my partner just told both of our parents and advised we didn’t know how serious the situation would be until baby was born so to just keep it to themselves for a few hours until baby is here. My mum decided to take it upon herself to tell my siblings, I was flooded with messages and questions. When I later asked my mum why she had to do that and why she couldn’t wait a few hours, she advised she’s not prepared to keep secrets from my siblings.
I’ve questioned why our children are treated differently, to which my parents responded that my siblings children have been in their lives for much longer so of course they favour them. They know them better.
my parents constantly compare mine and my siblings children, which I do understand is normal. But my parents constantly make comments. My son was crying the other day and my parents were saying how much of a “pansy” he was! I said he’s not he just wants his dummy, I gave it to him and he was silent.
i dread if my son makes a noise because I’ll be told how noisey he is and how much he “has a melt down”. I personally don’t think he’s that bad. (Mum blind????). Constant comparison to my siblings children who in their eyes were angels as babies. ( I can confirm they were not!)
so as you can imagine the way I feel about my parents is somewhat fragile. But I try, for the sake of my child. But I am getting more and more frustrated.
other family has suggested I speak with them, to which I have and obviously was just told what I’ve said above.
we had our weekly/bi-weekly visit from my parents this week and my mother kept saying she things she’s getting a cold. She then kept kissing my child. I asked her not to do that as she thinks she’s getting unwell.
She continued to kiss my child saying “oh he likes it” and “don’t worry I’ll give you lots of kisses when mummy’s not around”
I then took my child off her (to change him) and gave him a kiss… to which she responded “HOW COME YOU'RE ALLOWED TO KISS HIM THEN?”
I said because he is my child?
Half an hour later she picked him up after he’d been playing and she again started to kiss him.
I just took him off her.
I said stop doing that. She just again repeated “but he likes it”
I don’t know what to do anymore. I feel so frustrated. I don’t want to cut my parents off, but I don’t get listened too. I am ignored. Comments are made about my child.my child is treated differently.
Do you think I’m being dramatic? Or am I right to feel how I do.