Is there such a thing as being too friendly?

[Anony12341]

my child started a new primary school as we’ve moved. I made it my mission this week to be smiley and friendly to everyone I came across but now I’m wondering if I was too friendly!

one mum has a child who was not in same class but in the same year group as mine so I chatted to her and asked her where the pick up was for today (different as they had a sporting event). I’m looking back now I’m wondering if I made her uncomfortable as she looked like I did! I did say bye as soon as I realised and thanked her for showing me the place to pick up.

how can I be friendly but still not cringe! I really hope anyone reading this gets the jist of what I’m saying as I don’t think I’m explaining very well. I feel like next week just going and not talking unless anyone says hi to me but I doubt that they will as I have more of a reason for wanting to get to know them rather than other way around. Not to drip feed but it’s a London school.

I think it's probably been fine you're just maybe a little anxious about meeting new mummies and making new friends it's definitely harder as you get older. But it sounds like you're over thinking it a little. For all you know maybe she'd had a flat out day and just wasn't in the headspace for a chat or she was busy thinking omg I must know her but I can't remember her! I think you've got the right attitude just go and be yourself and be friendly and you'll be great. It's probably the same with everywhere, there will be some people who don't have any interest in getting to know you or any other new people and then others will be delighted to talk away to you. You'll figure out who is who over the next while it just takes time. But don't second guess yourself!

Just keep on smiling. I moved to a new area and was trying to make friends too. I find English people are not overtly friendly (I grew up in the US), so I took the initiative. I'd suggest going out for coffee or whatever if I seemed to 'click' with anyone. In some cases it didn't go anywhere but I did make friends. Most said they were happy I was so forward as they never would have taken that first step, and I tell you it was way out of my comfort zone to do it.
Also some Year groups met up weekly at a local cafe after drop off at 8.30, early enough for even working parents to stop by, if briefly. This was a good way of getting to know people, find out about school stuff and discuss various school related things.

People can find it a intrusive, suspicious, uncomfortable, when a person is friendly. There is a psychological term for this, don't know the name. Just mind your own business a bit more, and be self contained, people will come to you. Go and have a cup of tea in the garden!

In England, anyone who is nice and outgoing is treated with suspicion and derision. In any other country they are welcomed.

I would just keep being friendly - some people are unfriendly but plenty of others will appreciate it.

I said hello to someone I didn't know at the schoolgate and she literally turned her back on me. I think she was rude rather than that I was over-friendly

But I can't think of a time that someone has chatted to me in that kind of context and I've not appreciated it. The times where I've thought I'd like them to leave me alone have been when I've been trying to sort something urgent on my phone or have my laptop out on the train.