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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think there is nothing that neighbour can do about this?

85 replies

spoonielife95 · 09/09/2022 15:39

I recently had a security light put up outside - because of the way the electrics are wired up it comes on at night and then stays on all night rather than being a motion sensor one. The housing association approved it and were the ones that actually came and fitted it after a safety inspection of the house by domestic abuse charity because I have an extremely abusive ex partner (neighbours don’t know him because I moved on my own).

My neighbour makes a comment every night it comes on, her bedroom is at the front however our houses are staggered so she would only see the light if she opened her curtains and actively looked for it or went outside for some reason - I have checked this myself.

AIBU to think that even though she might be irritated by this there is nothing she can actually do because the housing association agreed for me to have it?

OP posts:
SquidGinn · 09/09/2022 15:56

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You’re fucking vile - what a thing to say sounds like your more of an abuser yourself

JoeyThePrawn · 09/09/2022 15:56

Keeping neighbours onside is a useful deterrent too
Whilist I sympathise I think your light is antisocial there are other option

SnowDear · 09/09/2022 15:57

she can’t do anything about it no. but you’re being a shitty neighbour

Original poster
spoonielife95 · 09/09/2022 15:57

@FrownedUpon i didn’t put it up on my own volition - the domestic abuse charity got in contact with the HA and told them they had to put it up along with other lights and locks around the home so I could actually live there - don’t be ignorant

OP posts:
Speakintoabrickwall · 09/09/2022 15:58

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Original poster
spoonielife95 · 09/09/2022 15:58

To those who say I’m being a shitty neighbour what should I actually do then? Take the light down and sit there in fear all night not being able to sleep because a perpetrator of abuse is out for me? I’m sorry but that’s not fair either. I don’t see the light at all during the night and my room is right next to it - I have a right to have the things I need to

OP posts:
carefullycourageous · 09/09/2022 15:58

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Well that is a horrible reply. Always the way with people like you.

Did you miss the bit where the light was installed by a DOMESTICE ABUSE CHARITY?

Oswin · 09/09/2022 15:58

Fucking hell. This light has been out up to keep op safe. It's a mild annoyance for the neighbour.
I cannot believe the responses to this thread.

Pleasebeafleabite · 09/09/2022 15:59

If this is real.

Yes there are things your neighbour could do and the first thing I would do if I was her would be to contact the council and ask them to investigate this as a statutory nuisance.

Do your neighbours a favour and have a motion sensor

Nolosomi · 09/09/2022 16:00

OP @spoonielife95 ignore all the twunts on here. Well done for standing up to them. Best thing to do is to ignore them. They are just energy sponges and attention seekers probably like your ex abuser. Some real sad cases on here.

Speakintoabrickwall · 09/09/2022 16:01

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carefullycourageous · 09/09/2022 16:01

@spoonielife95 I think you should ask your neighbour to speak to the HA. Tell them you are sorry but the light was fitted by a charity and you do not have funds to replace, and that it is really needed.

Your neighbour sounds like a twat, but try to keep them onside.

Do not take the light down, don't turn it off, you have done nothing wrong. Flowers for you as it sounds stressful dealing with the abusive ex.

SquidGinn · 09/09/2022 16:01

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Ignore this dick OP - she’s goading you!

There is no arguing with a brick wall

GreenManalishi · 09/09/2022 16:01

I think what people aren't understanding is that it doesn't sound like the OP chose the light, or where it shines. It was placed there by a third party.

How does your neighbour comment every night? Does she shout through the wall or come and knock on the door?

If you can, explain why it's there and who put it up, and drop a call to the HA/DV charity to explain its causing neighbour issues that you're keen to prevent escalating, and can they help. Tel her you will do what you can to reasonably address it.

Original poster
spoonielife95 · 09/09/2022 16:01

@Pleasebeafleabite of course it’s real why would I make it up?

as I said I can’t afford to change it all - if she wants to contact the council and they agree to pay and change it that’s fine - but I’m sick of listening to her moaning to me.

It doesn’t help that she nit picks over everything anyway - like the other day the bin had just been picked up and emptied and she told me to take it in whilst I had my hands full with my child’s school stuff - so I’m at the end of my tether with her telling us what to do in our own home anyway

OP posts:
Pleasebeafleabite · 09/09/2022 16:03

I don’t know - why would you make it up?

The statutory abatement notice would be issued on you rather than the housing association. Do everyone a favour and contact them now

Cyclebabble · 09/09/2022 16:04

If you have a motion sensor light it will meet your security needs. I can understand that your neighbour would be cross if the light keeps going on.

PeppaPigIsBacon · 09/09/2022 16:04

She sounds like a busybody from your last post, but some people are more sensitive to light than others and if she can see it then it may well be miserable for her and keep her awake.

Could you offer to help out with something like blackout curtains?

NiceTwin · 09/09/2022 16:05

Would investing in decent locks and a panic alarm be more beneficial?

The light pollution would annoy me too.

carefullycourageous · 09/09/2022 16:06

spoonielife95 · 09/09/2022 16:01

@Pleasebeafleabite of course it’s real why would I make it up?

as I said I can’t afford to change it all - if she wants to contact the council and they agree to pay and change it that’s fine - but I’m sick of listening to her moaning to me.

It doesn’t help that she nit picks over everything anyway - like the other day the bin had just been picked up and emptied and she told me to take it in whilst I had my hands full with my child’s school stuff - so I’m at the end of my tether with her telling us what to do in our own home anyway

Just smile and nod, smile and nod.

If she says to take the bin in just smile and nod.

Ignore ignore ignore. The other tactic with boring twats like this is ask them something about themselves and get them talking about something else.

Original poster
spoonielife95 · 09/09/2022 16:07

@PeppaPigIsBacon I would be fine offering her a blind or something because I have one and the light doesn’t shine in at all, but then she’s also said at times she’s only seen it when she’s gone out for a smoke during the night which makes me think she’s just being nit picky rather than it actually posing an issue…

@NiceTwin I already have those given to me but they put it up because I have a very long enclosed pathway to my house covered in hedges but even though we have cut those hedges down - you still can’t see the end of the pathway or if anyone was waiting outside

OP posts:
Twawmyarse · 09/09/2022 16:07

I can see why it would be annoying for her. I think, if you're comfortable doing so you should tell her your circumstances. There's was a building sight behind us with a bright light constantly on at night and even though it only slight was shining round the gaps of the blind and disturbing me at night. I need complete darkness to get to sleep - so I wore and eye mask which seemed to do the trick. So maybe suggest she gets a blackout blind or eye mask?

OhmygodDont · 09/09/2022 16:09

I doubt there is much that can be done hoover I’m not sure how the light would keep you safe, locks and alarms yes but even some burglars prefer a Constant light as then it’s just noting knew it’s not triggering a light on etc and they can see what they are doing.

dearhummingbirds · 09/09/2022 16:11

It could be considered a statutory nuisance ‘artificial light from premises’ which the environmental health team at your council could look into if your neighbour complained.

AlrightAlrightAlrightMatthewMcConaughey · 09/09/2022 16:11

I think there will be a way to have a motion sensor one sorted

A permanent light on outside would piss me off too