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AIBU?

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Original poster

Am I being dramatic

19 replies

MrsG2be · 08/09/2022 23:46

I don't trust my MIL to look after my son anymore since I picked him up and he was wet through, screaming, starving and just generally unhappy. He's four months old.

I tried to ban her from spending time alone with him but my DP is having none of it. Making out I'm being stupid which I absolutely am not. She's only watched him for me like twice and that's was emergent circumstances (I've bad gallbladder issues and spent some time in a and e lately) but after this last time I absolutely do not want him to go there again.

Me and DP are at loggerheads because he's saying mums looking after Baby and I'm saying to hell she is. Not without me there. He doesn't get it. Am I being dramatic? She's been ringing and texting all week asking to have baby and I've made excuse after excuse as to why she can't but obviously I'm going to run out of excuses soon.

Am I being dramatic or just normal overprotective FTM?

OP posts:
MaryHoldTheCandleSteadyWhileIShaveTheChickensLeg · 08/09/2022 23:50

Why are you making excuses instead of saying...

"No MIL, because last time he was wet through, screaming, starving and just generally unhappy"?

Original poster
MrsG2be · 08/09/2022 23:53

@MaryHoldTheCandleSteadyWhileIShaveTheChickensLeg I guess I just don't want to hurt her feelings or cause an argument. But I'm thinking maybe I'm just gonna have to be brutal aren't I.

OP posts:
OrlandointheWilderness · 09/09/2022 00:06

Not being funny but sometimes babies do scream and are unhappy! Plus him being wet could have a simple explanation like she'd not long changed him and he'd just done it (so remember that!). Starving wise, had she fed him?
I'm not doubting your word but I don't think there is enough info here to form an opinion. Is she normally kind, decent and reliable?!!

OrlandointheWilderness · 09/09/2022 00:07

I meant I so remember mine doing that when she was a baby, not being 'orrible and telling you to remember that! 😂 I clearly need to get to sleep!

Original poster
MrsG2be · 09/09/2022 00:12

@OrlandointheWilderness
She told me he had 11oz of formula but he was literally starving hungry!
She said she had changed him but his nappy was soaked and HEAVY!
Yes she normally is decent but I dunno. It's just not say well with me. I feel like she wasn't expecting me back so soon and had she known I was going to be back would have made more of an effort to make sure he was okay? Which to me says she wasn't really arsed?

OP posts:
Swimmingpoolsally · 09/09/2022 00:12

I’m not sure, babies do get wet and scream and become generally unhappy on a flash. Quite frankly he could have been dry and gurgling happily three mins previous, but I guess you know that.

as for the starving thing, I’d have asked had he had milk and how much.

Swimmingpoolsally · 09/09/2022 00:13

MrsG2be · 09/09/2022 00:12

@OrlandointheWilderness
She told me he had 11oz of formula but he was literally starving hungry!
She said she had changed him but his nappy was soaked and HEAVY!
Yes she normally is decent but I dunno. It's just not say well with me. I feel like she wasn't expecting me back so soon and had she known I was going to be back would have made more of an effort to make sure he was okay? Which to me says she wasn't really arsed?

He’s never wet his nappy so much it was soaked and heavy with you?

Original poster
MrsG2be · 09/09/2022 00:15

@OrlandointheWilderness no actually he hasnt.

I can 100% confidently say that he had the same nappy on him that I had put him in, he definitely had not had a nappy change.

OP posts:
Valhalla17 · 09/09/2022 00:17

At 4 months old he needs to be with you. Put your foot down

Original poster
MrsG2be · 09/09/2022 00:19

@OrlandointheWilderness oops sorry not you lol
@Swimmingpoolsally no actually he hasn't. I'm not talking just a bit wet and weighed down I'm talking like really heavy the whole nappy filled and soaked right through his vest and clothes. I could have ring his clothes out. I can confidently say he had no way had a nappy change.

OP posts:
Original poster
MrsG2be · 09/09/2022 00:21

@Valhalla17
I have only ever left him when I've had a bad gallbladder attack and needed to go to a and e and frankly not thought it appropriate to cart him down there with me. At the time I didn't have a choice and at the time I had no concerns leaving him with her.

OP posts:
Icedlatteplease · 09/09/2022 00:22

Do you have an alternative person to leave him with in the same situation?

Twawmyarse · 09/09/2022 00:22

MrsG2be · 09/09/2022 00:19

@OrlandointheWilderness oops sorry not you lol
@Swimmingpoolsally no actually he hasn't. I'm not talking just a bit wet and weighed down I'm talking like really heavy the whole nappy filled and soaked right through his vest and clothes. I could have ring his clothes out. I can confidently say he had no way had a nappy change.

I wouldn't want to leave my baby with her if this happened either - and I'm a pretty laidback type.

Original poster
MrsG2be · 09/09/2022 00:24

@Icedlatteplease bar calling DP home from work no I don't. My parents live 50 miles away. I had another bad attack the other night and I refused to call her and she ave him with her so I just sat it out and waited for the pain to pass! Which it did eventually! Was just grateful he slept through the whole night!

OP posts:
whynotwhatknot · 09/09/2022 00:34

if your dh doesnt understand that its wrong his baby was soaked through to his clothes then i wouldnt leave him alone with him either

Original poster
MrsG2be · 09/09/2022 00:36

@whynotwhatknot he thinks I'm exaggerating and it wasn't as bad as I'm making out 🙄

OP posts:
whynotwhatknot · 09/09/2022 00:38

well you have a dp problem aswell then

user1471457751 · 09/09/2022 01:11

If he's sleeping through the night then maybe he is drinking what your MIL said and still being hungry. Because he's not having any night feeds.

Original poster
MrsG2be · 09/09/2022 06:32

@user1471457751 he doesn't sleep through every night. Just occasionally. He mostly wakes at leat once

OP posts:
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