Was my husband being a dick about this?

[Phonecalll]

I was on a walk earlier today and ended up in a bit of a wooded area. It was just me and our baby.

I started walking an up ahead there was a group of teenage boys about 16-18 all stood around smoking, hoods up, black clothing and looking over at me approaching, talking about me (or looked like it anyway) etc..

I'm a little bit anxious about teenage groups like this especially when I'm on my own so I got my phone out and rang DH to speak to him just as I was walking past them.

DH is self employed so whilst I know it's still work, it's not like ringing him in an office where his boss might go mad at him. He works alone in a workshop so not out on jobs with customers either.

Anyway he acted like such a dick. Huffing, saying 'for fuck sake' basically just being really arsey about me having rang him just for that and me asking to just speak to him for 2 mins whilst I walked past. I even said just put me on speaker and carry on with what you're doing, I just want to be on the phone with someone for two mins that's all.

In the end I just hung up and walked past.

AIBU to think he was being a dick and it's not a big deal to just have me on the phone for two minutes if it made me feel safer whilst I walked past? Fwiw I never do this, I can't even remember another time where I've had to ring him to feel a bit safer so it's not like it's a regular occurrence but surely it's not a huge ask occasionally?

Well aren't you a delight.

I can't imagine being annoyed with DH if he very rarely (OP says one-off) called for support.

I've worked in prisons, with rapists and murderers and travelled independently in countries other people wouldn't set foot in, therefore NOT a 'toddler' and I've done this. Once (in a different situation) I think calling my dad may have saved me from harm from one of the aforementioned murderers.

As a rule my DH isn't a twat if I ever call him though, being as he's not a twat.

Sounds like your other half has the sensitivity of a brick

Men won't ever really understand how vulnerable it feels to be a woman sometimes. It's all about assessing risk. I'm 5ft and weak as a lamb. There are a lot of situations I know I'd be doomed in if they were to go wrong. My DP wouldn't even think about most of them.

He was probably in the middle of wanking, not working, and resented the interruption. YANBU, OP.

How does being on the phone in a potentially dangerous situation make you less safe? The whole idea is that the potential attackers are aware that someone else is in on the situation.

OF COURSE you don't focus on the phone - you are not calling for a chat!

OF COURSE you don't have both ears on the convo - you are still aware, if not hyper aware of the outside situation.
My DP has requested that I phone him on the way home from eg the pub if he can;t collect me. So he knows' where I am, and what's happening to me.

OP Your dp is a dick. And totally unaware of the dangers to sole women. As seems to be the case on this thread with actual women, too

I’d wait and see how he is when he walks through the door. Apologetic? Then I’d sit him down and explain how he’s made you feel but hopefully he understands he was out of line.
Unapologetic and thinks he is in the right? I’d give him the biggest bollocking of his life and he would find out what refusing to help me leads to. Consider what you do that helps him the most or what he values the most - and stop doing it.

Are you all saying that you've never felt intimidated by a group of teenagers? Particularly in a remote area and with a baby?
I'm with you OP, I would feel safer on the phone and having somebody know where I was. If he was that busy he shouldn't have answered the phone.

Personally I would not interrupt my partner's work day for something like this, even if I had the urge. I mean, what could he have done even if the youths had menaced you? I was raised that work interruptions only happen in dire emergencies.

In general it's a mistake to expect one sole person to address all of our emotional/social needs. Chronic or debilitating anxiety should be treated by a professional.

Once where I worked a woman called hysterically and demanded the receptionist interrupt her husband, who was in a meeting with clients. We thought one of their kids had died or something. It turned out her hair dryer had burned out.

I don't have chronic or debilitating anxiety 🤣

You say you've never specifically phoned him before for things like this. But phone calls aside, are you always over-anxious and looking for a lot of support with every day stuff in general? If so, then I can see why your DH was irritated because that pattern of behaviour is really draining on other people.

However, if this was a completely one-off and you usually just get on with your life as normal, your DH was being a bit dickish, yes. I can see why, if he was in the middle of something he was really focusing on, then it would be annoying to be interrupted about something that wasn't actually an imminent danger, but he could have addressed that with you afterwards, not right in the moment.

I understand you wanted the reassurance of someone on the phone but disturbing him at work is ridiculous. Call someone who’s available.

I think they must be men.