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AIBU?

Would you stay off work for this reason?

21 replies

Shrii · 08/09/2022 12:52

Really need to give my head a wobble here. I've been off work for 2 weeks (went back briefly between week 1 and week 2 because I hate taking time off). I've been having blackouts, one resulted in injured knee and another a burn to my face. Had an ECG which showed my resting heart rate was between 120 and 140. Another ECG showed a long QTc (but only borderline) which meant nothing to me at the time, but I've since learnt that paired with tachycardia and blackouts looks like it could be serious. Have been referred for an urgent cardiology appointment which I'm waiting for. Have been told if it happens again to get to A&E ASAP to see if they can catch whatever is going on. Its suspected I may have an on off arrhythmia or something else going on with my heart. I've taken some time off work to cope with it all whilst it is being investigated. I just HATE taking time off work and whilst I genuinely feel like I need some time to cope with it all, I feel like I should go back and just keep going because I only work from home. I'm so stressed that we have a big report due and feel like I'm letting my team down. If you were my manager, would you see this as a valid reason to take some time off? My head is just not functioning properly at the moment!

OP posts:
GetOffTheRoof · 08/09/2022 12:56

Do not go back to work. It would be more selfish in some ways to be unreliable right now, plus lots of short periods off sick will be worse for your employer to manage than a long consistent period.

Your health is way more important. If you were run over by the proverbial bus tomorrow, whilst your colleagues and employer might be sad, they'd also just crack on with the work.

No working!

Good luck with your appointments - sounds worrying.

Shrii · 08/09/2022 12:59

GetOffTheRoof · 08/09/2022 12:56

Do not go back to work. It would be more selfish in some ways to be unreliable right now, plus lots of short periods off sick will be worse for your employer to manage than a long consistent period.

Your health is way more important. If you were run over by the proverbial bus tomorrow, whilst your colleagues and employer might be sad, they'd also just crack on with the work.

No working!

Good luck with your appointments - sounds worrying.

Just all feels so stressful and I'm working towards promotion which will be set back, and with the costs of my household spiralling I'm so anxious about this. Everything feels quite stressful atm.

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Shrii · 08/09/2022 13:19

I'm literally on the verge of logging back on. I hate feeling like this 😭

OP posts:
GetOffTheRoof · 08/09/2022 13:28

Shrii · 08/09/2022 13:19

I'm literally on the verge of logging back on. I hate feeling like this 😭

And if you face plant whilst WFH? Who will be checking you're OK?

Ineedsleepandcoffee · 08/09/2022 13:29

Yes this is a valid reason to take time off

Shrii · 08/09/2022 13:30

GetOffTheRoof · 08/09/2022 13:28

And if you face plant whilst WFH? Who will be checking you're OK?

I'm at home either way I guess

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Summersdreaming · 08/09/2022 13:32

Will you be more stressed working or not working? I'd personally hate sitting around all day waiting for the next appointment/test result, I'd prefer the distraction of routine. So do whatever keeps you calmest.

Hymnulop · 08/09/2022 13:33

Do you think they'd give you a 2nd thought if you died? Sorry to be blunt but work does not care about you- you're just an employee doing a job. Stop caring so much about it - health is everything. Look after yourself and back away from the laptop.

tickticksnooze · 08/09/2022 13:38

If we are taking the cold capitalist view - it is more disruptive to work if you are in and out and trying to work while unfit, logging off abruptly to go to A&E when you knew you shouldn't have been logged on at all. You are no good to them if you damage yourself further trying to work either.

If we take the human view, you need to focus on yourself and your health. Stressing yourself out worrying about work is unnecessary and not good for your health.

A few consecutive weeks or even a few months is a tiny blip in the scheme of your career. You're not letting anyone down - that is a story in your head - and a year or two from now everyone will have forgotten.

I hope your appointment comes through quickly and they get you sorted.

emmathedilemma · 08/09/2022 13:40

Yes I would (and I'm pretty much of the "grin and bear it" mentality). I think if there's a risk of you injuring yourself then you shouldn't be in and you must feel exhausted, that HR is like doing a work out constantly!

Shrii · 08/09/2022 13:42

emmathedilemma · 08/09/2022 13:40

Yes I would (and I'm pretty much of the "grin and bear it" mentality). I think if there's a risk of you injuring yourself then you shouldn't be in and you must feel exhausted, that HR is like doing a work out constantly!

Thankfully it is only intermittently that high, and usually my resting HR is below 60!

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Quveas · 08/09/2022 13:45

Hymnulop · 08/09/2022 13:33

Do you think they'd give you a 2nd thought if you died? Sorry to be blunt but work does not care about you- you're just an employee doing a job. Stop caring so much about it - health is everything. Look after yourself and back away from the laptop.

Speaking as a manager, whilst I see your point, yes we would all the devastated if a colleague died, and they would certainly get more than a second thought. I returned to work today from leave to discover that a colleague had indeed, very unexpectedly and suddenly, died, and I can assure you that he is getting a lot more than a second thought.

OP, whilst you absolutely must put your health first I do understand your position, and albeit in different circumstances (I knew what the problem was) I have also been there and have managed people in similar quandaries. Sometimes not sitting at home dwelling on it is better than the alternative - work can be a distraction. I would suggest that you speak to your manager and explain how you are feeling. Every situation is different, but when I was in this position my manager was happy for me to work from home and for whatever hours I could manage. I have done the same for staff in my team. As long as there is no real risk that working will make anything worse, this can be a good option. And in our case it also reduces the time "off sick" as we can re-compensate the worked hours against sick leave. Not every employer will do this, not every employer can do this, but if there is flexibility and it suits the role, it can be of benefit to you and the employer. It's worth having the conversation. If it can't be accommodated then it's the employer choosing to keep you off sick (which isn't to say they are to blame for anything, but it might make you feel better about being off sick then).

Tiani4 · 08/09/2022 13:45

As a manager no, I would not want you to work

This sounds quite serious. I'd be concerned that work stress would add to your heart problems

Have you spoken to your GP, have they advised you whether you should rest and avoid stress for time being?
I would also require you to have a back to work meeting after returning , including looking at whether you need graduated return to work

Icouldtellyou · 08/09/2022 13:46

You'd be more distracted if you were working, otherwise you're just sitting around dwelling on it which is more likely to make you more stressed.

InTheFreezer · 08/09/2022 13:47

I had something simular (if you drive BTW you may lose your licence) happen to me and work forced me to have a month off to get it sorted out. I couldn't work from home though. I think I would have if I could though as working would have kept my mind busy.

Shrii · 08/09/2022 13:48

InTheFreezer · 08/09/2022 13:47

I had something simular (if you drive BTW you may lose your licence) happen to me and work forced me to have a month off to get it sorted out. I couldn't work from home though. I think I would have if I could though as working would have kept my mind busy.

I'm not driving from advice from the doctor. Which is an absolute nightmare but have no other choice.

OP posts:
Shrii · 08/09/2022 13:54

Tiani4 · 08/09/2022 13:45

As a manager no, I would not want you to work

This sounds quite serious. I'd be concerned that work stress would add to your heart problems

Have you spoken to your GP, have they advised you whether you should rest and avoid stress for time being?
I would also require you to have a back to work meeting after returning , including looking at whether you need graduated return to work

They haven't responded to the request I put in this morning for a fit note so just waiting to hear back.

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Sooveritallnow · 08/09/2022 14:02

Do not go back to work and do not drive etc whilst you are this ill.
It's generally those that are most ill that won't take the time off. I made this mistake once and ended up in hospital for 5 days over xmas. Your health comes 1st.
Best wishes for a speedy recovery .

PainPainGoAwayToday · 08/09/2022 14:07

Unrelated to the work question but just a reassurance really, I know 3 people with that (al related) and they are all fine now they are on medication. All 3 drive, have jobs they work reliably at (one involves driving actually) and just live normal lives. The dad didn’t know he had it until the son (as a child) had blackouts and was diagnosed, the daughter never had symptoms but was younger when diagnosed. The dad and daughter also play sports, go to the gym and run. There are some limitations, I think swimming might be one (don’t quote me on that though) and any “high impact” sports, dad isn’t allowed to play squash for example but other than that they are all happy and healthy and on the right medication. I think they have yearly checks with a consultant. None have ever had a problem as adults.

As for work, you need to rest until you are properly sorted- diagnosed and medicated and know what you are up against. Don’t feel bad, you aren’t off work with something trivial. Hope you get it sorted and feel better soon x

Boxofsockss · 08/09/2022 14:27

What’s the point in a promotion if your dead? People that are devoted to their jobs, when not self employed, I don’t get. If you died, they would get the advert out for your replacement in a day. Put your health first. Not your job.

Shrii · 08/09/2022 15:23

I honestly don't understand people who are off work all the time for minor things. This is so stressful. Thanks everyone

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