To worry about this?

[Kickitbev]

So my mum used to drink around my brother and I when I was young, she was a horrible drunk and turned nasty after even a glass. I promised myself I would never ever put my kids through that. Even now she if she rings me past 8 o clock I don’t answer because I know she is looking for an argument. I enjoy a glass of wine too and luckily I handle my drink quite well, because we have had wine in due to being bought it for an anniversary I have had 2 glasses each night this week and really enjoyed them, wouldn’t have more than that as I HATE feeling drunk. I just feel bad as I promised myself I wouldn’t drink when I had kids but I am not doing anything my mum did with us, never get drunk etc…is it ok to chill in an evening with wine (obviously not every night) once this wine is gone I’ll probably not have any for a while. I’m worried that alcoholism runs in my family and just being proactive about it although I know I don’t have a problem…I don’t think.

Ive said YABU only because I feel you should be easier on yourself, youre very aware and Not your mother, so enjoy it and when its done return to normal patterns. No need to be hard on yourself 🙂

If the two glasses of wine was every day of the week, then I’d say that was a lot.

if you had three lots of wine over three days, and then not any for a while, that’s not a problem.

I thought I only drank at weekends. Then I realised I finished the wine on Monday and p9ssibly Tuesday, then opened a new bottle on Friday, so I was only not drinking a couple of days. It was only one or two drinks a night, bit it soon mounts up.

It affected me so much as child seeing my mum this way as a child. I don’t understand why she would carry on drinking knowing what it was doing. Every morning she would wake up and apologise and then buy us something to make up for it then did the same thing again!

Just realised I have as a child too many times at the beginning haha sorry! I’m not drunk honest!

I voted YANBU. Because my DD is in bed, I’ve a raging ear infection, I’ve spent all day cleaning, and I’m now watching doc Martin with ….. a glass of wine!

Some friends have a glass of wine with dinner every night, then long stretches of no wine at all. It’s only a problem if you NEED it. If it affects work. I admit it can creep up on you if you have a glass every night, so would avoid doing that. I enjoy wine, but I always have wine free nights.
I never get angry or anxious, I just find it a nice treat, relaxing etc.

My uncle’s sister was an alcoholic (she was also very beautiful, until she drank too much, she passed away eventually). He will only drink a maximum of 2 pints a week- if that. He worries it’s an addictive trait and may be hereditary.

Your mum sounds like the standard alcoholic.

My best friends mum is the same. I was terrified to go to her house when we were kids because her mum would drink a bottle of wine each night and become extremely verbally abusive to my friend. She hasn’t changed, and is now in her 60’s. My friend likes a good drink, but definitely doesn’t drink every day. She’s nothing like her mother.

History doesn’t always repeat its self OP. It’s healthy that you recognise your mothers behaviour and how it was unacceptable. If you don’t drink every night you don’t come across as having a problem.

You need to go easy on yourself. X

What I never understood about my mum is that I can tell when she has had even just one mouthful of wine? Why is that?

Maybe it wasn’t just the wine op. Maybe the wine gave her an excuse.

What I never understood about my mum is that I can tell when she has had even just one mouthful of wine? Why is that?

Most likely, it’s psychological. One mouth full of wine wouldn’t have affected your mum physically. She won’t have been drunk after one mouthful. But that one mouthful could have been a release. If she was alcohol dependent that one taste of wine would have changed her demeanour and personality instantly. She would have been craving for a taste all day.

DD screamed, cried and fought for an hour in my arms tonight before finally going off to sleep, I'm sat here with a beer.

If you are comfortable with your level of drinking and it isn't causing any issues then give yourself a break.