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AIBU?

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Original poster

To ask if they had earphones they could use?

53 replies

SoundandFurry · 07/09/2022 11:34

Name-changed for this...

My family were on a cross-Channel ferry at the weekend and we got ourselves settled in to one of the lounges to enjoy the sailing. A young couple sat down a few seats away and immediately began watching something (sounded like an action film) on their ipad, with the volume turned up really high (probably so they could hear it over the ferry's engine noise). There were other groups of passengers seated nearby who kept glancing at them and were obviously unhappy too about having to listen to someone else's entertainment.

My husband asked them if they had earphones they could use as the volume was so high. They immediately said No, and that as they weren't seated in a Quiet Zone they could watch their device any way they wanted. The man also said that my husband was rude to ask them about earphones (at this point my jaw hit the floor).

I really did not want to get into any kind of "scene" but fortunately the situation resolved itself when my son turned up with a tray of coffees. He's early 20s, 6ft 3 and built like a second-row rugby player. The man took one look at him and announced that they were going to sit somewhere else, but still carried on muttering about us being "rude" and that it wasn't a Quiet Zone.

I wasn't expecting people to sit in silence, but we felt that the couple could have been more considerate about using their device. I don't object to noise generally - in fact, their place was taken by a family with two young girls who chatted, sang and played beautifully, with the mother shushing them from time to time if they appeared to get over-excited.

So, were we being unreasonable to ask if this couple could use earphones?

Yes: You were unreasonable to ask.
No: They were entitled to watch their ipad

OP posts:
Original poster
SoundandFurry · 07/09/2022 11:36

Sorry - just realised that the voting options are wrong!

Yes - you were unreasonable to ask them if they had earphones.
No - you were NOT unreasonable to ask them if they had earphones

OP posts:
CapMarvel · 07/09/2022 11:37

YANBU. People using devices in public who don't use headphones are utter dicks.

Flavabobble · 07/09/2022 11:39

Not unreasonable at all - I've done similar on a plane when some bloke was playing a game on his phone.
Nothing worse than having to listen to someone else's stuff. I do make sure I've got some thrash metal lined up just in case.

shivawn · 07/09/2022 11:39

People will have different opinions on this but I agree with you. That couple were the assholes.

BeautyGoesToBenidorm · 07/09/2022 11:50

Had this twice in my local maternity unit recently, waiting hours to be seen in triage - one woman constantly on FB messenger, with all the message/keypad tones on and going off at full volume (far more annoying than it sounds), and a couple watching endless TikTok clips and music videos at full blast.

The former eventually got her arse handed to her by a very irate woman who was clearly in a lot of pain, and the latter were told off by a receptionist who'd seen quite enough shit that day, thank you!

YANBU

DrPhilYourGuts · 07/09/2022 11:55

YANBU, he should have been reminded how rude and inconsiderate it is to disrupt everyone else's journey.

I've asked people to do this a few times and most agree without issue (I'm a very short woman), he had a lot of front to decline!

Sonnex · 07/09/2022 11:56

I find it astounding how this has somehow become acceptable to people. It's incredible. I was on holiday this summer relaxing on my sunbed and the woman next to me, like a couple of foot put Peppa pig on an iPad at top volune to keep her child quiet while she sunbathed with headphones on. The entitlement of these people astounds me. It's becoming more and more common. I hate to say it but it's always millennials or younge ethat I see doing this.

My standard response now if to blast out sky news at top volume for awhile so that the 2 sounds compete with each other and noone can hear anything. They soon get the message and then I stop.

Arbesque · 07/09/2022 11:57

YANBU. Some people are just self obsessed and selfish and become highly indignant when someone points this out, however politely.

XjustagirlX · 07/09/2022 11:58

in my experience it is younger people who do this. And I say that as a millennial.

if I was confident enough i would love to put something really inconsiderate on my phone at full volume. Like porn or explicit rap music with lots of swearing.

Sonnex · 07/09/2022 12:00

That's what I do now I'm so sick of it (not porn 😁

10HailMarys · 07/09/2022 12:01

Absolutely YANBU.

NashvilleQueen · 07/09/2022 12:01

This has become a real issue. I think in part it's the auto scroll of Insta and Tik Tok where videos play without warning but it's still so annoying. I've just been to NYC and people just walk around with a portable speaker playing their own music loudly. No consideration whatsoever for others. It's bizarre.

Luredbyapomegranate · 07/09/2022 12:02

I’d be amazed if anyone disagreed. It’s phenomenally rude. I do pretty much always ask people not to do it.

NashvilleQueen · 07/09/2022 12:03

My standard response now if to blast out sky news at top volume for awhile so that the 2 sounds compete with each other and noone can hear anything. They soon get the message and then I stop.

I did this as well. By a pool where there was a band playing nearby. Sunbather next to me put music on her phone so I had two competing sounds going on. So I played music on mine and stood near to her. Idiot.

Sonnex · 07/09/2022 12:04

And they always look affronted and offended like, look at that bloody woman, making noise so I can hear my movie! It never seems to occur to them that if they can randomly decide to blast out noise in a train carriage or wherever, anyone else can randomly decide to do it at exactly the same time and you just get a cacophony of competing sounds. And thats that it what headphones were invented for!

I was shopping at the weekend and a woman had a video phone conversation with her sister going full blast as she walked round the ailses. Everyone started trying shoes on really loudly, clomping them down, and bellowing at each other 'DO YOU LIKE THESE SHOES!' it was hilarious. The woman actually tutted and moved to a different part of the shop.

Doingprettywellthanks · 07/09/2022 12:05

I really did not want to get into any kind of "scene" but fortunately the situation resolved itself when my son turned up with a tray of coffees. He's early 20s, 6ft 3 and built like a second-row rugby player. The man took one look at him and announced that they were going to sit somewhere else, but still carried on muttering about us being "rude" and that it wasn't a Quiet Zone.

I find this a bit odd to be honest. Did he think your son was going to fight him?

Doingprettywellthanks · 07/09/2022 12:06

NashvilleQueen · 07/09/2022 12:03

My standard response now if to blast out sky news at top volume for awhile so that the 2 sounds compete with each other and noone can hear anything. They soon get the message and then I stop.

I did this as well. By a pool where there was a band playing nearby. Sunbather next to me put music on her phone so I had two competing sounds going on. So I played music on mine and stood near to her. Idiot.

But how did everyone else feel?

unpleasant with one music being played
intolerable with two competing being played at same time

GuerlainHo · 07/09/2022 12:08

I don’t think it’s unreasonable to ask them to pipe down but I could see their point too.
you would like peace and quiet; they want to watch their movie without headphones.

Doingprettywellthanks · 07/09/2022 12:10

GuerlainHo · 07/09/2022 12:08

I don’t think it’s unreasonable to ask them to pipe down but I could see their point too.
you would like peace and quiet; they want to watch their movie without headphones.

I don’t think the op says she wants “peace and quiet” anywhere.

ForfuckssakeEXHstopbeingatwat · 07/09/2022 12:13

@GuerlainHo but the difference is, one of those options doesn't impact anyone else, the other does. The op said she was fine with the noise of the children.playing, that's normal, social noise. Someone else's iPad or phone really isn't.

Lovetogarden2022 · 07/09/2022 12:14

I cannot understand how people think it's ok to play their music/film/tiktok etc on a loud volume. It's so unbelievably rude! We've had a few instances where we've been sat on the beach with our children and a group of people have come and sat behind us and started playing their (often sweary, offensive) music through their speakers. I've no problem with my kids hearing that kind of music or language etc, but it is an unusual thing to do. I'd be far too self conscious to do something like that!

Hugasauras · 07/09/2022 12:16

BeautyGoesToBenidorm · 07/09/2022 11:50

Had this twice in my local maternity unit recently, waiting hours to be seen in triage - one woman constantly on FB messenger, with all the message/keypad tones on and going off at full volume (far more annoying than it sounds), and a couple watching endless TikTok clips and music videos at full blast.

The former eventually got her arse handed to her by a very irate woman who was clearly in a lot of pain, and the latter were told off by a receptionist who'd seen quite enough shit that day, thank you!

YANBU

We had similar. Some idiot watching an action film on a tablet at top volume while the midwife was trying to listen to see if my baby was alive and she could barely hear over the sound of explosions. Who the hell does that in a maternity triage ward?! ConfusedConfused

GuerlainHo · 07/09/2022 12:18

Doingprettywellthanks · 07/09/2022 12:10

I don’t think the op says she wants “peace and quiet” anywhere.

Show quote history

I don’t think the OP said it either…I certainly didn’t write the OP did. I’m summarising the fact that OP wanted to not hear the movie on the iPad 🥴

Crumpleton · 07/09/2022 12:22

YANBU
What makes anyone think, no matter where or what it be, that everyone around them should or would even want to put up with it.

smittenkittennn · 07/09/2022 12:26

GuerlainHo · 07/09/2022 12:08

I don’t think it’s unreasonable to ask them to pipe down but I could see their point too.
you would like peace and quiet; they want to watch their movie without headphones.

What's so hard about watching with headphones? Incredibly rude and entitled to want to watch something without headphones....

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