To think crying infront of my boss will male her think less of me?

[BeatieBourke]

I had a big old blah infront of my boss today. I just welled up and it all came out. I told her that whilst I know full well I can do all the elements of my job, have the skills and experience, etc, sometimes I just get overwhelmed, doubt myself and lose my confidence.

My job is quite isolated, involves lots of ploughing new furrows and doing things that haven't been tried before, building relationships. I need to inspire confidence.

She said no one would ever suspect me of feeling like this, as I come across as very confident and highly competent (which I am). I just get THE FEAR sometimes. Because I woek on my own there's not really any body to bat stuff about with or go to for moral support. They always knew this would be a challenge, and are going to put some more things in place to support me.

AIBU to think my boss will now think I'm a total headcase? Or be annoyed because they don't have time to handhold a fully grown person? Or now doubt my abilities when they had no cause to otherwise? Have I shot myself in the foot?

I'm trying to tell myself it's better to be honest and work through this stuff rather than hide it. But I'm not sure I really believe that's true.

Any tips for banishing the crippling self doubt? If it helps, hisnis my first ft job since being a mum and I think talkative has a lot today with it. Theres just so much stuff to hold in all areas of my life. Im exhausted. Ive only been in post 3 months.

I'm confused about which way the voting is supposed to work but I think being honest about these things is always the best way. Everyone has these moments, we're not robots.

I cried to my boss about a month ago and he was absolutely brilliant about it and has since given me a promotion so it can't have shaken his confidence in me that much!

You know what - I'm a people manager and this has happened to me a few times. People struggle on and don't say they are having problems as they perceive it's seen as weak. It's not- it's honest and by speaking up your manager is probably the best thing you could have done.
A good manager should want to get the best out of their staff and sometimes a bit of understanding goes a hell of a long way. Hopefully the adjustments will help but speak up if they don't. I've have one particularly challenging report who ultimately is one of the best I have now- so reliable, independent forward thinking etc .
Take the support and work to change things - I'm sure you'll feel better about it in the end. You maybe need to use this to work out if the job is for you? It might not be long term but give it your best shot.

I’m not sure about voting either (I voted YANBU) but maybe I think YABU)

you cried because it got on top of you - it’s your managers job to put support in place so she needed to know what was getting to you.

I’ve had several people cry at me at work. All different circumstances. I’ve never thought worse of any of them.

Thanks for the replies and positivity.

It's a great job for me, almost perfect. Apart from this issue. I feel like I'm curtailing myself and I don't know why. Fear of success? Self sabotage? I was often told to pipe down kr that i was roo big cor my boots by my family. I think it stuck.

Sorry for typos. Long day.

@BeatieBourke it sounds like your family put the self doubt into you a long time ago! I bet you can do this- take the support but be yourself- your company must have faith in you - you need to have faith in yourself (sorry that sounds trite!) we all have these wobbles.