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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be finding this really hard? Feel like my brain isn't working as it once was!

28 replies

mycatisannoying · 06/09/2022 22:07

Until recently, I had a fairly mundane job. A worthwhile one, nevertheless, but it was fairly instinctive and didn't require a great deal of thought.
In need of a new challenge - or so I thought - I applied for a new job. I am currently in the training stage for this job. It's loosely related to the job I used to do, so some of it is familiar but most of it is new.
I always thought I was fairly bright; I have two degrees including a postgrad from Cambridge. However I have never felt as dense in my life! It is taking me so long to process the new information, and I find myself sitting there getting really anxious about it all.
I am 48 years old now, and really see a difference in my attention span and ability to take on new information.
I am hoping that it will all make more sense when I'm doing the actual job. At the moment I'm finding it hard to reconcile all this training with the practical job at hand. I feel slightly out of my depth, and it's not even a well-paid job Sad
This really does feel like a 'grass isn't always greener' situation, and I'm absolutely gutted as I had such high hopes for this move.
I do ask questions in the training, of course, but things don't come as naturally as they used to.
Can anyone relate?!

OP posts:
Strawberryfieldsforeverandever · 06/09/2022 22:11

Yes! I’m 44 now and have felt like this since just after 40, plus after having a child and having long covid…could be any or a combination of all of these. I used to be really sharp, loved a challenge, now I can barely concentrate/focus and feel quite dense at times!
I also wondered if it could be a sign of peri menopause 🤷🏻‍♀️

ToFindNewWays · 06/09/2022 22:13

You’ll get into it. Once you’re actually doing the job things will fit together. It must be a shock to the system to make a change after a stint of sameness - give yourself some grace and you’ll get it!

Aquamarine1029 · 06/09/2022 22:15

Welcome to peri-menopause! It's a blast.

Shellsbelles · 06/09/2022 22:16

Yes, unfortunately. But it is also normal to be like that in any new job, takes time to get to know it. The first days can just be a blur of confusion!

Original poster
mycatisannoying · 06/09/2022 22:17

Thanks for your reply! I guess I've always had work related confidence issues, particularly when it comes to new things (I'm not great with change!). The rational side of me knows that this is unfounded, and that I always do a good job. Management at the last place were absolutely gutted to see me go.

But how I'm feeling now is pretty horrid! I just feel so stupid and lacking in concentration.

OP posts:
Alphabet1spaghetti2 · 06/09/2022 22:23

I’m somewhat older - I cannot say my memory or attention span is worse in anyway, what I have found - is that if the subject doesn’t engage me, then I just switch off and then I struggle, but due to inattentiveness, not poor memory.
Its as my mind has gone - “nah! too old to be bored rigid, next thing please’”.
Could that be part of the problem op? Does this job really excite and engage/interest you?

Helgadaley · 06/09/2022 22:27

All new jobs take time to fully understand. Give yourself a couple of months and things should become much clearer. You're not dense, you've just been catapulted into a completely new situation and it takes time to adjust. Good luck.

Phoenix76 · 06/09/2022 22:34

Sometimes it's whoever is delivering the training can be at fault. It's tricky as if it's someone's role to train they should be able to adapt to the recipient's learning style but if it's just someone pretty much roped in to getting you "up to speed" they aren't likely to make your learning easy whether you're 21,31, 41 or 51. Worse still is when you're plonked in front of a screen to be "trained".

Don't be so hard on yourself please, if you are genuinely worried about it after you've ruled out what I've said above I find brain training games help strengthen the 'ol neuropathways.

PRosie · 06/09/2022 22:36

The training is not suited to your learning style. You need to be actively doing it to learn. I feel the same at aged 44 and find concentration, focus, motivation etc all difficult!

eurochick · 06/09/2022 23:59

I'm close to your age and feel similar. I'm educated to post-grad level and used to think of myself as reasonably bright but lately it is as if my brain is made of Swiss cheese! I'm blaming peri-meno. 😡

MyBottomDecides · 07/09/2022 00:09

Very much me! 54, and for the last 10 years I've noticed I assimilate and create things much less quickly. It can be a real slog to write a page, whereas it used to just pour out. I don't remember details and have to write everything down.

It was definitely a menopause thing, exacerbated hugely by stress during the pandemic, and then another layer of worsening since which I've realised is because I stopped exercising. Ive since committed to 30 mins exercise every morning no matter what, and its like a light coming back on in my brain. Might help you?

CleopatrasBeautifulNose · 07/09/2022 00:15

Sounds like peri-menopause brain fog. Joy. I've heard hrt can help, I've got an appointment at doctors in couple of weeks to discuss this. Feeling nervous as I've never had any success when messing with hormones before but I want to shake off this horrid blanket that has settled on me.

FootFlapperage · 07/09/2022 01:00

I'm 47 & it's got better for me since I started hrt

FootFlapperage · 07/09/2022 01:02

Maybe a good idea to get your hormone levels checked at the doctors

mackthepony · 07/09/2022 01:08

This is me.

I'm 40 and I cannot remember anything. I've been in a new job for 18 months and barely know anything. I can't even remember simple things! It's ntie c'en complicated.

I don't think WFH helps.

I also have no attention span and just cba.

Thatswhyimacat · 07/09/2022 01:10

How long has it been since you were last 'new' in a role? I've always felt like this in the training stage even in my 20s, you might just learn better by doing (and whoever is training you might not be explaining it very well).

mackthepony · 07/09/2022 01:11

It's not even complicated

😅🙄

antelopevalley · 07/09/2022 01:22

It is perimenopause, but it does get better once you come out the other side.

Ahwelltoobad · 07/09/2022 02:13

antelopevalley · 07/09/2022 01:22

It is perimenopause, but it does get better once you come out the other side.

When would that be, please?
I'm in menopause and on HRT, but I'm not better, and am a bit worried about early onset dementia. Not usually a drama queen 😞

Doingmybest12 · 07/09/2022 07:06

It is a bit of a shock if you are comfortable in your role and then move. Maybe as we get older we are less used to the feeling of taking on new information . I moved to a job which was another specialism within my field and I underestimated how much I had to learn as I thought it was just adapting what I already did. You will get there is the end, but it is an uncomfortable feeling. Be proud that you moved out of your comfort zone. I gave myself a target, if I managed 6 months I'd stay for 2 years sort of thing.

Hyacinth2 · 07/09/2022 07:19

Did you go to previous job after uni - so after 13 years of learning at school and 5 or so at uni - that's 18 years of learning. You now have 20 years of not taking in new information. It's bound to be a struggle at first.

Antst · 07/09/2022 07:31

It's not that your brain function is declining (unless there's a medical issue you don't yet know about). New research says it's that as we get older, we take on more and varied responsibilities. You're a lot more distracted than when you were a student and had nothing to worrying about except study and social activities.

Keep at it. Sounds like it has been a while since you had to buckle down and focus. A few weeks/months from now, you'll look back and wonder why you felt you were struggling.

My job is about as nerdy as it gets and every two or three years, I have to learn a completely new set of skills. It feels like I'm on vacation right now because I'm at the end of one of those periods and know it all! You will too.

Just remember Hillary Clinton... Never give up. Keep at it.

DaveDave · 07/09/2022 07:35

Yes I am struggling so much with this right now, to the point that I've just had probation extended in a new job as I they don't feel I'm doing well enough. I'm mortified, I've always learnt things so quickly until now. I've been trying so hard too!

picklemewalnuts · 07/09/2022 07:35

I'm really struggling

I think it's menopause, but could be a different underlying condition.

Has anything extremely stressful happened?

I feel like part of my brain has simply switched off. Gone on holiday perhaps!

I also find I just can't be bothered with lots of things. It's simply not worth the effort.

What really worries me is the thought I'm getting like my grandma! As in, unable to use the newfangled VCR etc!

Arcadia · 07/09/2022 07:45

I'm the same, I'm 48 - haven't started a new job, but mine is fairly challenging. I feel mentally clumsy these days and just forget names etc. far less mental stamina as well for work, I get more 'mentally' tired.
At first I thought it was due to stress and weirdness of lockdowns/pandemic, then thought it was after effects of covid, then I thought I might be depressed, but finally I've gone onto HRT to see if it helps as I also felt an underlying 'flatness' in my mood (amongst other symptoms).
It's only been a week so too early to know if it is helping yet.