Sil posting pics and videos of Dd

[Strawberryfieldsforeverandever]

My Sil has recently been posting pictures and videos of my Dd, 4, on her Sm and even as her profile pic. Am I being petty not being keen on it? I don’t know all her friends list and would you ask before doing something like this?
Just feels a bit weird…no other family/friends do this…I do it, but have strong privacy settings…plus, she’s my child

YANBU. The only way you can avoid this, if you don't want to confront her, is to stop sharing pictures yourself. You could set up an acquaintances group for her, and only share to friends, but that would depend on her not being friends with yours and their privacy settings IYSWIM.

Just ask her not to if you don't like it. She is probably just proud auntie but you can tell her you're uncomfortable with it. If you put up pics she probably doesn't know it bothers you.

@vipersnest1 These were pics and videos she’d taken when she came to visit…I do get it, but also don’t like it. I naturally wouldn’t share faces of other people’s children, unless I knew they were relaxed/ok with it.

Can you tell her you don't like it? If you can't you will have to do what I've advised in my last post, but that will be dependent on whether or not you both have mutual friends.

Tell her nothing she takes is to go on SM, simple

Just ask her to not do it?! 🤷

@Rowen32 Sure she’ll love that!

You might have to lead by example on this - stop posting pictures of your daughter on social media, and then in a couple of weeks tell her that you’ve decided to keep your kids off the internet, and please could she follow that.

You can always have the option of sharing in Whatsapp groups after that.

@shropshire11 My privacy setting is good and shared to only people I know-family & friends…I want to continue sharing, but don’t want her sharing with people I’ve never even met…would you really share someone else’s child 🤷🏻‍♀️My family don’t do it

So tell her. A family member was sharing pics of another family member’s children on Facebook and was told absolutely no, never do that. It’s your child, tell her you’re not happy and she’s not to do it.

Take some unflattering candid photos of her and post them.

Would you feel the same if it was your sister posting proud auntie photos?

Yes, she should ask you before doing so, in an ideal world. My eldest asks her sister before she puts photos of her niece up.
But yes, while I get your logic about not knowing who her friends are, it's difficult for you to address this when you post the same stuff yourself.

1. Tell her you would like this to stop
2. Ask her to take down what is already posted and if this doesn't happen ask FB (or wherever) to remove them

Stop second-guessing yourself, there are valid reasons for opting to minimise the SM presence of kids, she can do as she likes with her own kids.

It's a bit weird

But to be fair, it's also a bit weird that you haven't told her you don't like it.

Also, I don't see what 'not knowing her friends' has to do with any of it. You don't know everyone in public who can see your DD's face either.

It's a bit ironic really that you should be annoyed she's sharing pics of your child without permission, considering the child herself isn't old enough to give her permission for anyone to share her pics including you OP.

Who cares if she loves it or not, its your child.. You want to protect her so I wouldn't care if she's upset or not..
I've been in this position and done what I've advised

I think the first step is to gently mention it makes you a little uncomfortable.

The profile pic is really weird

I've shared photos of my nieces and nephews having fun with my kids on social media many times over the years and tbh it wouldn't occur to me that would be a problem.

All their parents are on sm and share group photos too.

The only time I decided against it was pics of our kids playing in the pool when my 7 year old niece was in a bathing costume. I thought my brother might not share such a photo so neither would I.

@WhatNoRaisins Its a picture of her with her Dh and my Dd, is it weird? 😬

That's not so bad, I thought you meant just a picture of her as the profile pic which would be very strange.

I told MIL not to post photos of my DD after she posted one on her public profile of baby in her nappy. She had a strop but got over it.

My SIL did this so I chickened out and got my husband to tell his sister not to do it and why. She stopped and everything was fine.