To break up my family

[Kilomum]

My husband seems to do what he pleases all the time and I feel I have had enough of it. He was away all weekend last weekend at a gig, going out all day Saturday this weekend, plays sport twice a week and once on the weekend or either goes to the footie. I’ve bloody had enough, why does somebody with 2 young kids want to be out so much?

I know this sounds obvious but have you spoken to him about it and told him you're not happy? Do you get to go out and do things? Was he as active before kids?

I get out occasionally but don’t feel the need to go our as often as he does. I love being with the kids, as a family, not on my own with them most of the time.

That sounds really tough OP. How old are your kids? Is he finding it all tough?
Have you told him how you feel?

5 and 2

He doesn’t understand my problem at all and I have built up so much hate for him.

I get it. He’s not your partner and is living like having kids hasn’t remotely changed his lifestyle/life. I would resent this. It sounds like he isn’t invested in his relationship with any of you. How much of a difference to your life would it make if he was living elsewhere?

I have adjusted to being on my own now most weekends. He says he doesn’t understand and what he does is normal it is me that has to get our more! I’m too bloody nackered!

You're already a single parent. Make it official.

Your life will improve so much once you aren't burning daily with resentment. I say that as a single mum of twins who's ex had a very similar approach to your husband!

@Kilomum I would ask him if that means you are allowed the same time to your own interests and which weekend and week days he is free to watch the kids while you go out. I think he will very quickly change his mind about what is normal and what is not.

it's not fair the burden has been all on you and I would really ask him how he would feel if the roles were reversed

he is saying to go out more I really would be tempted to call his bluff

If she goes out more then he will go out even more. Does he realise how close to a divorce you are?

@ChrisTrepidation what happened when you ended it?