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To feel sad seeing colleagues who joined at the same time as me get promoted

4 replies

thisish · 06/09/2022 21:23

I work in the private sector and we have a clear progression plan/hierarchy. I joined as a graduate alongside a few other graduates. Most (pretty much all) tend to get promoted at around the one year mark.

The other graduates I've joined with are now getting promoted. I'm obviously happy for them but it stings and hurts as everyone knows we all started at the same time, so I'm feeling left behind. I started off really well at my job and my manager told me I'm working at a level above what they expect for someone with my level of experience. Unfortunately I developed anxiety and depression and had to go off sick, and since then I've had a phased return with reduced hours and responsibilities, so that's obviously why. I just feel sad at what I've missed out on due to poor mental health. I haven't had a pay rise either - not that I deserve one - but what was a ok-paid graduate job is now quite a low salary, not enough to live on independently really

OP posts:

Am I being unreasonable?

12 votes. Final results.

You are being unreasonable
You are NOT being unreasonable
CoastalWave · 06/09/2022 21:27

The only time I've ever been annoyed is when I found out that a junior I employed and who turned out to be utter crap has since, 10 years on, been promoted to an incredibly senior position in the company (think senior country manager level) . I thought it was incredulous enough that he ended up with my job! I have to console myself with the fact he's still a knob!

You know why you haven't been yet. This is like potty training to me - in a few years time none of this will matter and no one will remember or care who got promoted first. Keep working hard and focus on yourself, not others.

You're not in retail are you?!

superplumb · 06/09/2022 21:27

Normal to feel like that. I'm in the police and there are people with 3 years service getting promoted over people with 15.
I tell myself that it isnt a race, it's your own path. Focus on yourself and getting better 1st, the rest will come

NoSquirrels · 06/09/2022 21:30

Feelings are never unreasonable- or we are never unreasonable to have feelings, so I haven’t voted. It’s OK to be sad. But you know it’s not because you’re being unfairly treated, it’s because you just need longer to overcome some mental health challenges. Keep going. Flowers

Stickmansmum · 06/09/2022 21:31

You have something really important right now around getting well and strong again. You’re clearly very good and able for your job when we’ll do I’m sure you’ll fly again soon. Try not to focus on what being unwell has taken away and just focus on the fact that your are good at what you do and will be back at it soon.

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