To hire the tutor anyway

[TutorDilemma]

NC to keep this separate from other posts. DD could really do with a tutor as her confidence has been knocked with the Covid disruption. She started Y7 in 2019 so her whole time in secondary school has been a bit of a mess.

DH is starting to stress a bit about energy bills and cost of living, and making noises about cutting back. We both work FT and roughly the same.

I have found and met a tutor who I (and DD) really like, but DH doesn't think we should hire one (at all). He says £40 a session is too much, and pulls a face when I say we spend more on that on a family takeaway.

AIBU to say that DD really could benefit from this and go ahead? The tutor is lovely and there's no commitment for a term/set period, and I think if we're cutting back, the weekly takeaway for example could go. IMO there's many things that he spends on (lunch everyday at work for example) that he could cut, and this would be so good for DD.

We're not struggling (yet, I know things could change) for money and all income is family money.

WWYD?

Personally, I would try it. Great idea, OP. :-)

Thanks. She's had a really shit time of it and I think DH just can't see past this 'additional' expense rather than the benefit to DD

I’m a tutor and this is what I charge. It sounds expensive if you’re new to having tutoring, however when you consider you are paying for a personalised lesson tailored to the student’s needs, the tutor’s prep time and potential travel time/costs I don’t think it’s an unreasonable amount. It’s an investment in your child and definitely worth it, IMO 😊 And especially good to do it before the GCSE years where things become more pressured.

Tough one OP but as mum to a struggling DD Y10, the £ we spend on her tutor although £25 is worth every penny to give her a fighting chance to pass maths. She has no SEN or behaviour issues so constantly falls through the cracks at school (despite their so called ethos of "no child left behind) so it's on us to bridge the gap.

This will be the absolute last thing we will cut back on.

I think this is lovely and exactly my thinking. @Jollycat8 are you finding people cutting back/down with COL rising or is tutoring something that's still a priority as it's so valuable?

@TutorDilemma I’m not sure to be honest, I’m just getting back into it after an extended mat leave so haven’t tutored in 2+ years. Time will tell I suppose- if I struggle to get enough students I’ll probably have to drop my prices slightly.

"... and I think if we're cutting back, the weekly takeaway for example could go. IMO there's many things that he spends on (lunch everyday at work for example) that he could cut, and this would be so good for DD."

Well, since "DH is starting to stress a bit about energy bills and cost of living, and making noises about cutting back", then he should lead by example. Time for him to take a packed lunch to work, I'd be pointing out to him the savings from that alone would probably pay for the tutor on it's own. Or does he value his lunches more than his daughter's future? [Directs deathstare at OP's H over the top of my glasses]

Seriously, there will be things that can be trimmed (you've mentioned lunches, takeaways) which, when looked at in the cold light of day are less important than your daughter's education and self-confidence. Or does he think everyone else should do the cutting back, just not him? In which case I'd be having words with him about selfishness.

Or does he think everyone else should do the cutting back, just not him?

We havent directly got to that part of the conversation yet, as I say he's just making "noises" about cutting back. I think he just doesn't want "extra" expenses but hasn't connected the dots that if we made savings elsewhere then outgoings wouldn't change.

I just think this would be of such value to DD. This tutor actually teaches you "how" to learn, whereas in DDs school anyway they seem to just dump the information on them and leave them to it, so when the lessons don't seem to go in she loses confidence.

DD has been seeing her Wonderful Tutor each week since the summer hols and come hell or high water I want it to continue until exams and I will cut our cloth everywhere else to allow that.

She comes out grinning her head off, dying to tell me all the problems she can solve and literally bounces home on the walk! This is from a girl who used to regularly be in tears over maths.

I feel quite emotional actually thinking about how much good it's doing her whilst simultaneously regretting not starting earlier.

OP you've nailed it with the "how " part. DD is starting to understand from looking at an exam question what operations she needs to use, where she can pick up easy marks that sort of thing.

Knowing how to learn is definitely a skill.

All the best sorting what she needs

DD did a past paper with tutor last week (only foundation mind) and with minimal help got 67%. For her, that is epic and I was so so proud.

My cousin (who is more like a sister in all honesty!) used a company called Tayberry who charged about the same as that. A few weeks after she started with them, her husband was made redundant but they cut back in other areas and put their son as a priority. He's starting at Oxford in a few weeks and hand on heart there is no way he could have done it without his tutor's support. His school was "good" but they just didn't have the time to sit down with him and go through everything. He's dyslexic as well, so having someone who had the time to sit and go through the work and give him methods of how to manage his dyslexia was worth it's weight in gold and worth every penny. Xx