I just feel DONE.

[Thereoncewasahorridmama]

Twins, 2, awful sleep. Occasionally sleep through but this morning they've been up since 4ish. Then they either are moody until they nap or don't nap and are little terrors. They don't listen and I end up shouting and they just laugh. Constantly climbing into dangerous stuff. And fighting. Can be total darlings when they want.

DD, nearly 7, can be demanding and contemptuous. Can be helpful and sweet but also fights with twins and wants telly on.

All awful eaters. I'm just feeling so done.

I'm a SAHP because there's medical issues which means getting Al lthree into childcare would cost too much. I'm studying for a Geography degree online. DH works full time and does his share and I get time out to see a film or catch up with friends.

So why am I feeling so done? I just want to lock myself in a room and Ignore them, esp when they start screaming.

I tried Serataline (sp??) but can never remember to take it so stopped.

I feel like they'd be better if I just left. Dad has much more patience altho I do all night wakings

I am sure I would also feel done if I was coping with all that! I'm sure some mums of twins will be along soon with some useful advice but in the meantime I would say to remember that it isn't forever and things will improve. Also, can Dad do some of the night wakings? Even doing some at the weekend might help so you get a couple of good nights of sleep a week. Lack of sleep is just awful. Lastly, I do wonder (from experience!) if trying to do an online degree is pushing things a bit too much just now. Can you reduce the time commitment for that for a while (eg take fewer courses this year) or else put it all on hold till next year?

Ah, twinnies.. been there, done that!
I think I've got the rose tinted glasses now so much time has passed, it feels like it was fun all the time but it defo wasn't!
I found that they worked together to cause chaos.. the poo mural on the wall in the hall.. stealing butter out of the fridge & liberally coating each other's little nude bods.. (had to bath them in the paddling pool outside as they slipped through my grasp trying to get them up to the bathroom!)
One helping another climb up the North face of the kitchen cupboards to get to my nail polish..
It is all EXHAUSTING, so don't beat yourself up, I'm sure you're doing just fine. Could you get a nap when Dad is in charge?

Just remembered, I did advertise for domestic help around that time, but the people who answered my ad thought they were coming to play with the babies while I cleaned the house.. erm, NO..

Gosh don't know how you are managing to do a geography degree with 2 year old twins at home all day!! Are they going to nursery at 3? Could you defer that till then? I get its good to keep your mind active and it might help break up the drudgery of housework, school runs then homework etc with your dd but I am not sure how you are fitting it in! I mean you must be knackered by the time they are all asleep in the evening?

Aww it does get better, I had twins and a 2 and 4 year old but I paused my studying until they were older, it sounds like you need to prioritise some sleep, I never felt able to cope when I was knackered. My second child was a terrible sleeper and my GP prescribed sertraline because I was so down but within a couple of weeks she started to sleep better and guess what I was just knackered, a few night of good sleep and I felt like me again. Mine are teenagers now, you'll get there.

Re study, I started when DD went to school, I worked the year the twins were born (god only knows why but onyl half a unit) then deferred a year then started back last Oct (just before they turned 2). I'm worried about losing the motivation to study if I delay and I'm theory once they're in school I will hopefully use the degree for work. They do go at 3 so January but unsure if to do 15 or 30 hours. 30 feels a lot but then I could study in the day instead of from 9 pm.