To be very pissed off with school

[AlbertaAnnie]

First day back at school today - school is round the corner from my house. My son is year 6 and walks to school himself ( he’s done this all last year no issues). He went to school as normal this morning and at 9.30 I revived this text from the school.
“ CHILD1 has not turned up at school today, please could you call the school immediately to update us.”
This immediate made me panic and think the worst! He’s very responsible and wouldn’t skip school so all the worst case scenario’s we’re going through my head!
Rang school in a panic shoes on ready to run over! They asked me to hold while the called his class and he was there all along but had been missed off the register! They said he must have “snuck” in past the teacher! He didn’t sneak we just went to school as normal!
anyway I know people are human and errors can happen but surely they should check before causing such alarm! I’m shocked that this isn’t standard procedure and more shocked that if he had actually been missing it would have taken them 30 mins to inform me. Spoke to head teacher and she was awful and so insincere in her apology and just came across very defensive! I want to take it further as I’m unhappy about the whole situation.
AINU to feel so angry with the school or am I being ott? Thanks!

I get this quite a bit from my son's secondary school. They send out a text saying your child isn't in school. I double check, by texting my son, who confirms he is indeed in school, and proves it by sending me a picture.

I then send a reply to the school text asking them to check properly as sim is indeed in school.

I work in a school and trust me this is quite commonplace and nothing to get too upset about. Just a quick phone call from you and usually the child is in school but he/she may have avoided or missed the first registration of the day.
You're right to call the school straightaway though😎

And if he didn’t turn up and they took even longer to go double check he wasn’t there you would be complaining. Mistakes happen. It’s the first day back with possibly new teachers. I don’t think they’re implying he sneaked in. He’s maybe not heard his name being called or the teacher has accidentally marked him absent.

My sons old primary school used to call me to make sure he got home safely from after school clubs. You are well within your rights to be frustrated at the worry they caused you. I appreciate it might not be an option but I bought my son a cheap android phone as a birthday present and he had to text me upon arrival at school, it gave him his independence and me assurance that he arrived safely.

Of course you were upset to read that your son was missing... but it was just
"human error," and it's far better that they texted you when they THOUGHT he was missing rather than them saying NOTHING if he really WAS missing.

Just chalk it up to a mistake and try not to let it upset you. The school is probably doing the best they can, and letting you know really WAS the right thing for them to do: it shows they're trying to do their job even if they make mistakes.

My autistic daughter walked out of school at lunchtime and managed to go a long walk about town before her guidance teacher saw her as he was rushing home to a family emergency so couldn’t stop, he called school to say, I got a call 50 mins after the start of class, and as her phone was out of charge my niece had to check the toilets as the deputy head said teachers or parents weren’t allowed, this was handled shockingly imo and as a parent when you get that call saying ur child hasn’t registered for class the most horrible thoughts go thru your head so I absolutely agree you are right to be annoyed with them, I suffer from horrendous anxiety and it has happened twice since that she’s locked herself in the toilets once for 3 hours before I was notified, I love the support she gets from high school as there was none in primary but there processed aren’t great. Hope u are feeling ok now

I once called the school to report my DDs a sense and apologised that I had forgotten and it was already nearly lunch time. They had her marked in!! Thank his there wasn't a fire or similar and they had sent someone in searching for her!

It's poor that they didn't confirm absence by looking in the classroom, even to see if he'd made it in after the registers closed.

Mine once managed to walk out of school on a half day before lunch and registration. I was shocked the school failed to notice until I went to pick them up!

It's heart stopping but focus on him being safe. If it happens again then get really cross.

Nope! I don’t think you are being unreasonable. We have systems in place to ensure we know where the children are at all times and I would be in a panic if I got that phone call. The headteacher could have been more sympathetic considering it was their error. As for taking it further, I’m not sure where you would go for that unless you wanted to complain about the headteachers response? I agree, it is human error. But if this had happened at our school we would have got a right telling off for it

That happened to me, I said DD should be there so the receptionist called class and she was - probably in loo during register?🤷‍♀️
It’s not a big deal.
The receptionist will go through each register and do the lunch and absence data and then call any unauthorised absences so 30-45 mins sounds about right.

I get where you're coming from. School did it to me once with DS1.

I had dropped him off there myself in the morning and then they called me at 11:30am to tell me he wasn't there. I was 38 weeks pregnant with DS2 at the time. Cue panic. He was there all along - they just hadn't checked first before calling me to berate me for not telling them he was 'absent'.

They got in both barrels from the mad, unnecessarily panicked pregnant lady. Especially as they had let it get to 11:30am before noticing!

I'm surprised at some of the comments. I would have been panic stricken! They should have double-checked and should not have been offhand/rude to you. Effing nerve!

I get these messages all the time, despite dropping my kids off & watching them walk in. Basically, some teachers do the register earlier than others, so if you're a few minutes late, your child goes to the toilet first, or maybe gets held up by another teacher etc, the early register teachers mark missing kids as absent, instead of waiting a few more minutes in case they are running late!! The register is computerised, so once they send it to the office, the office send out texts to all parents who have not already called in. Honestly, you get used to it. But yes, the first time it happened to me, I was straight on the phone to the school too!

I had a text from the school saying the same about my year 10 teen. I have the Life 360 app, so checked, rang the school and told them which building he was in (the one he was meant to be in). Turned out he was there, but registration had been done early.

I understand the initial panic but the school probably has computerised registers. It used to happen with my son in senior school every Wednesday morning as he had an early guitar lesson & the teacher didn't have access to the register.
In our school the office has to check the answerphone for absence messages, answer the telephone taking messages from parents. Dealing with new starters (& their parents). There are lots of these messages sent out every day and most of them are answered by parents who had forgotten or not bothered to tell the school that their child was ill/running late/on holiday/at an appointment.
Remember also that they have different teachers who may not be so familiar with them. Attendance is taken very seriously and if the parent doesn't respond to texts or phone calls, are supposed to have a home visit.