What now?

[AllBingdoesiswhinge]

Dd, 4, is due to start school and I’m feeling a bit lost. I previously worked full time all my life in a career I loved, but found stressful. Dd came later in life and I’ve been a Sahm since she was born. It was an adjustment, but I’ve loved it and don’t want it to end. We’ve done so much, went to all the play dates with friends, made a great circle of mum friends…now, everyone is going to different schools and things just feel…different. What happens now? Just back to work (a job I really really don’t want to return to and don’t have the same passion about anymore)
Just feel sad and a bit lost, anyone else?
Wish I had another year of this, with her.

No one else in a similar situation, am I that pathetic 🙈

If you don't need to work to live then the world is your oyster - rediscover yourself in something that interests you, something you can make your work perhaps?

@maddening Well, it would help to work and I guess it’s sort of expected of me to work.

Look at starting a whole new area of work - you don't have to go back to something you actively dislike.

You have time to train. Or to volunteer.

Such a lucky position to be in!!

Start by making a list of every sort of job (or course, or other activity) you've ever been vaguely attracted to, mull it over, and see if that helps you decide 'what next?'

@AuntieStella Does it sound pathetic that all I really want to do is carry on as we were and be a mum at home? I don’t know what happened to me, I was never like this before…I would have been bored senseless at the thought of being a Sahm

Sounds perfectly normal to me. I hated my 2 boys going to school and missed them so much. I did work 2 days a week, but still missed them on the other 3 days. Most of my friends went back to full time work. I did a few hobbies at home, but housework and shopping becomes so boring after a while. I did cook more and bake more and walk more. I wish looking back that we had gotten a dog when DC were young, we have one now but I really think I would have loved walking a dog. Before you know it, it’s half term, then Christmas.

@Mindymomo We have our dog, I was thinking of just completely throwing myself into dog walks and runs/getting fit again, at least initially
Feel a bit like our little group will change. Maybe it’s because I only got chance to do it once and can’t have another child, I’m so grateful for the time I did have though.

It's a segment of your life that is precious and irreplaceable. Many people experience the same thing, but then move on (sometimes reluctantly) to the next phase of your life. I went back to work part time, but not at such a stressful level, but you can look at starting a small home based business, part time charitable work, part time change of career work, maybe retrain for work with small children etc. It's likely to get boring just being at home all day, but it's a good time to rediscover yourself, get fit and socialise. The socialisation does tend to taper off when kids start school as most mums return to work, so evening classes or a shared hobby may be possible.

I totally get the sadness that those precious small kid days are over. I had 8 years of small kid experience and it's a lovely memory and important for you and your child.

It's weird isn't. You have to find your new role again . I found the holidays hard when I wasn't needed at all
Now I relish the fact I can do what I want , when I want . Its really great