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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

I need help please

31 replies

needhelpplease2 · 06/09/2022 00:51

I'm in a panic, I can't sleep with severe anxiety. My relationship is over, my partner is awful to me. I am leaving I just need to work out how. I have a young toddler. I'm in such a panic and a mess I don't know where to start, my head is spinning. I can't go to work tomorrow I need time off, I can't sleep.

Can anyone talk to me? I'm desperate I feel so alone

OP posts:
Hapoydayz · 06/09/2022 00:53

It sounds like you are doing the right thing. Stay strong, things will get better

Loocheeyar · 06/09/2022 00:54

Hey
I was where you are now a year ago and life is great
what is your housing situation ? I made a homeless application at the local council and they helped me . And refuge helped me too can you speak to them ?

Unicorn717 · 06/09/2022 00:54

Do you have any friends or family you could stay with for now?

I don't really know what else to say but it sounds like you're doing the right thing and I hope things get better for you.

Original poster
needhelpplease2 · 06/09/2022 00:55

I need to call my boss tomorrow and tell him I need some time, what do I say?

OP posts:
Original poster
needhelpplease2 · 06/09/2022 00:55

I haven't got anyone to stay with and I need to stay here with my daughter

OP posts:
Original poster
needhelpplease2 · 06/09/2022 00:58

I hate being under this roof with him, I feel sick when I see him 😔

OP posts:
macy2601 · 06/09/2022 00:59

Find your nearest women's shelter they will give you somewhere to stay and help you with getting back on your feet. It's hard but don't worry you will feel so much better when you leave the situation you are in.

Loocheeyar · 06/09/2022 01:00

Is it his place? Yours ? How do you think he will take the news ? Has he been abusive to you? Abuse is in many different forms though , emotional , financial etc . Call refuge tomorrow
tell your boss you need some emergency time off
have you got separate finances ?

Original poster
needhelpplease2 · 06/09/2022 01:02

He is emotionally abusive, only physically a couple of times in the past not recently.
He makes me feel like I want to die, honestly.
I need to get away but my baby is here. I don't know where to turn.

OP posts:
mummy203 · 06/09/2022 01:02

If you can possibly go into work try to. Sometimes the distraction can help. People at work might be helpful. If not Tell your boss your leaving a relationship that “my partner is awful to me” the next few days are going to tough and you need time off. offer to get a doctors note if that helps them.

are you renting? Who’s name is on the contract?

Original poster
needhelpplease2 · 06/09/2022 01:03

Joint tenancy

OP posts:
Loocheeyar · 06/09/2022 01:03

You need documents passport red book birth certificates medications purse id bank statements rent documents tenancy agreements mortgage bits so copy those screenshot on your phone or photo copy some bit get them out of the house
and get yourselves safe asap , it’s not worth it . The rest is just stuff

Mysteryuser · 06/09/2022 01:04

It's late now. Things always seem different in the morning. My advice- don't make any plans now. Try to sleep. Phone your boss in the morning and explain that you need time off. Get out of the house for a bit then and think with a clear head.

mummy203 · 06/09/2022 01:08

Mysteryuser · 06/09/2022 01:04

It's late now. Things always seem different in the morning. My advice- don't make any plans now. Try to sleep. Phone your boss in the morning and explain that you need time off. Get out of the house for a bit then and think with a clear head.

what they said and get some advice in the morning. They will be able to help with advice on tenancy etc x

charabang · 06/09/2022 01:08

Are you safe OP? If not, go to a shelter. If you are safe then try your best to breathe deeply to stop that racing feeling. Nothing will be acheived tonight but you can start on making plans tomorrow. Call your employer in the morning and say you are unwell. You don't need to say anything you are not comfortable with. If you have friends to confide in in real life do so. It helps to share your worries. Good Luck x

Original poster
needhelpplease2 · 06/09/2022 01:10

I am physically safe yes. Just my mind is racing so fast and the anxiety is horrendous, I can't breathe. I am so tired but can't sleep. It's the worst feeling in the world

OP posts:
Loocheeyar · 06/09/2022 01:13

Look up some breathing exercises on you tube and get some pos casts on to calm and distract you
youve got this ! You will be so relieved !! And free !! It will all be ok . Be calm , be organised , make lists . It WILL be ok.

Hollowtree3 · 06/09/2022 01:20

call in the morning say you are having a 'family emergency' and need a couple of days leave. Then you can call after and if you need to, explain more, BUT otherwise get a doctor to sign you off for a period of time as needed. What you are dealing with is awful. Take time off. Ask friends or family to take the wee one, or book childcare for 3 or so hours a day so you can just breathe and adjust to all the crap. xxx

Original poster
needhelpplease2 · 06/09/2022 06:23

I have had no sleep at all.
I have to call my manager to explain and I don't know where to start, I can't think straight. I can't stop crying. I keep thinking that it would be better off if I wasn't here 😔

OP posts:
CatDilemma123 · 06/09/2022 06:29

Hollowtree3 · 06/09/2022 01:20

call in the morning say you are having a 'family emergency' and need a couple of days leave. Then you can call after and if you need to, explain more, BUT otherwise get a doctor to sign you off for a period of time as needed. What you are dealing with is awful. Take time off. Ask friends or family to take the wee one, or book childcare for 3 or so hours a day so you can just breathe and adjust to all the crap. xxx

Do this OP. Get yourself a bit of time away from work to focus. explain later.

MsFrog · 06/09/2022 06:45

If you feel comfortable, explain as much of it as you can to your manager, and don't worry about holding back tears. Your manager is a human being and are bound to be concerned and care about you. Get the baby to childcare, then take some time to try and calm your thoughts (is your partner out the house through the day?) Then you can make a plan - lots of good advice on here. Contacting the GP is a good start, they will help you.

One step at a time, OP. Just make the phone call first, and be honest if you think you can. If not, just say it's a family emergency and you can explain more another time.

Onewildandpreciouslife · 06/09/2022 06:56

Your daughter needs you and loves you. You will get through this.

Drink some water. Put the kettle on. Tell yourself you only have to deal with the next 60 seconds. Make a list. And keep breathing.

Original poster
needhelpplease2 · 06/09/2022 07:48

There is an ambulance coming, I rang them in desperation as I wanted to end my life. I'm so ashamed

OP posts:
PitifulPrincess · 06/09/2022 07:56

Get the help you need @needhelpplease2 there's no shame in that 💐