Trigger warning!! Girlfriend threatened to kill herself - advice???

[LisaDal]

Just starting by saying I am a female too so there's no misconceptions.

We've been together 5 years and we have a mortgage together and I thought things were great.
She finished uni 3 years ago,, then went on agency, and had a few long terms and this year finished a long-term PPA just before summer. She had quite a few job rejections for teaching so is back on agency now.
Last weekend, we had a few drinks together during a meal and then went to a pub. she had a bit too much and when we got home started crying about how nobody wants to hire her and that she's useless and might as well not be here anymore. This seemed so out of character and I just burst into tears too as I hated hearing it.
She then started repeating she wants to die and the only thing stopping her is family. More was said but i don't think there's a need for me to type it all.

The next day she said it must have been the drink and she's not suicidal but she is feeling depressed with agency work and feels lost.
This weekend she was in tears about schools starting and she still has no contract and I'm a bit lost at what to do. I have a job in another industry and I earn enough that she doesn't need to stress about money. I told her I will stick by her through anything even if she wanted to leave teaching.

I don't know what I want from this but the drunk talk the other night freaked me out but she wont see a Dr as she is adamant she is fine and it's just her career making her sad but how do I support her? I love her and I'm worried

Of course you are worried, you love her! Maybe you could explain that calmly to her , let her know it’s ok not to be ok, everyone needs support sometimes and she could see a counsellor until things are on the up?

You sound so supportive and lovely. Just keep doing what you are doing. Listen, empathise and ask if she needs you to actively do anything or if she just wants a hug.

Look after yourself too, it's hard when someone we love goes through something so tough 💐

Thanks for replying, I just needed a vent as Ive promised her I won't bring it up to any family or friends, but I just hope the drunk talk isn't her true feelings

Perhaps she might consider accessing a counsellor or similar if she doesn’t wish to see a doctor.

@onepieceoflollipop the talking therapy is free?

It’s natural to be worried after hearing her say those things. You sound very supportive.
Do talk to her about how worried she has made you feel, and continue to suggest she make an appointment to speak to her gp about her mood if it seems low generally, not just with alcohol.
But remember, people do express such thoughts without any actual suicidal intention. Even angry kids say “I wish I’d never been born!” And it’s ok to say to that you feel you might as well not be here, if that is how you feel in that moment.
But that is a long way away from seriously considering ending you life, thinking about how, making plans etc.
Keep open dialogue about her feelings and ask her to tell you if her thoughts ever venture towards serious consideration or planning. Talk about her and your moods and what helps or doesn’t (alcohol) when things are tough.
Speaking as a mental health nurse with years of experience in a crisis team.

Thanks for responding and I do try to keep open communication with her but I think because she's embarrassed she brushes it off.
It's frustrating because it comes across that teaching is what is making her depressed but at the same time when I ask her whether she wants to retrain she just says there's no point and continues to say how she's failed at teaching (I don't think she's a failure at all btw, she's had plenty of long terms)

@LisaDal
yes free in England on the NHS and it is self or GP referral.
Try and Google ‘IAPT’ with the name of your local area or town.

And they are also skilled at finding out if the person might need medication or to see a doctor or mental health team. They do risk assessment to establish if they are the right service

Sorry forgot to ask if you are in England.
Wales have an online service and Scotland have a phone service I think.