To be struggling to survive on 65k household income

[Soddinghell]

By the time we have paid mortgage, phone bills, bills car insurance, kids activities etc we barely have anything left. I don’t know what’s going on. DH earns 50k and I earn 15k part time. Please somebody help me I am thinking of going full time to stay afloat, I don’t know where we are going wrong, we are not in London or an expensive area, just outside manchester and people keep telling us we should be fine. We are not though!

Yes this. It’s easily done.

also heard it described as lifestyle creep.

you slowly spend a bit more on things without really realising.

Instead of the 50p bar of soap you did like and smelled nice you buy the naice £1 bar of soap with a different colour and scent and the occasional £4 artisan bar of soap when you’re out in a day trip that was meant to be just a walk but turned into lunch and a shopping trip.

granted now inflation is hitting all of that harder. I’m sure the OP could do a little lifestyle clawback and hopefully find a bit more wiggle room.

😂

Maybe use a different title as the current one has got the backs up of a few posters.

OP, I don't know if this helps or not. DH and I bring home about £3500 a month. No child care (working part time both of us as do have DC). Mortgage is £600 ish. 3 bed house, northern city. We are managing but needing to be pretty careful and not much left for saving/unexpected bills. Wonder if that might help with some context of what feels like a lot/ not lot at the moment. I do have a spreadsheet and keeping quite close tabs on spending.

I am sorry that you're getting mauled, OP. The only people that I know who are not struggling are childfree, double income couples. Everyone else is feeling the pinch, some more than the other. I am sure there has been some good advice regarding budgets and lifestyle on here, just know that you're not alone.

Depending on how many children you have, I don't think a household income of 65k so high a salary to allow you to live an overly extravagant lifestyle (although I will admit I live in London with a mortgage of over £1,000 so I might be totally ignorant of how it is up North). I know for me, assuming there are no other obvious extravagances in your monthly spending (takeouts etc.) the thing to consider would be the £250 per month of children's activities.

I'm not definitely saying I would cut them, as I know how valuable they are and the opportunities they bring, especially if your children enjoy them and are good at them. But I would probably need to face up to the fact that if I continue with them, then that means I have to accept that I won't have as much disposable income left. For me though, I would be fine with that if they were important to my children.

As a household we earn more than that and I am militant about knowing exactly where it all
goes. At a basic level you need a spreadsheet which shows all your regular outgoings (all direct debits and standing orders ) - after those that's essentially your free cash so calculate what you're then spending that on. Appreciate you're earning more than most but it's not huge and all adds up.

TBF the thread is pretty clearly labelled, so anybody who's liable to be offended by it should just not click.

It's true though, much more information needed if we're to be helpful at all. There will probably be some slack that can be cut, people who aren't on the bones of their arses will usually have an easy win or two, but there's not enough here to tell.

I earn that as a single parent with 3 young children - no CMS currently. Only 1 car that's old and paid off. Childcare bills higher than my mortgage. Definitely look at your outgoings - I have a budget app where I budget to the penny everything 6 months in advance. How many kids do you have? If your kids are old enough and have got through the first few swimming badges just watch u tube videos and teach them yourself - needs must in this environment. Kids in swimming lessons from age 3 seems like a fairly new phenomenon - when I was growing up no one had formal lessons until primary school and just managed with mum/dad taking you a few times a month to the local council pool

Are you having a laugh? We've got an income of 27k (I can't work due to having a stroke) That includes my £83 a week PIP. Admittedly, our very humble 1930s semi is paid for (we're in our 60s but not due to get a government pension for 3 years). Stop being so utterly ridiculous

YANBU

A single person on £25k with relatively low rent will do better than a family on 60k with nursery fees, bigger mortgage/rent etc

but people just go OMG SIXTY THOUSAND and jump in to say how much worse off they are

Time to cut things out OP. Even people with reasonable incomes are having to make big changes.

This is the problem isn't it - £65k sounds like a lot, it is quite a bit - but when you pay high mortgage, child care, travel, energy, food - there is not much left over. Add private dentist (because there is no NHS dentistry), prescriptions maybe, some private counselling for your teen because CAMHS doesn't exist any more... there is not much left over.

We are being done over in this country - the equivalent salary in a European country would go further because they get e.g. childcare very cheap, travel very cheap, housing cheaper.

Obviously it is all worse the less you have - but WTAF is going on that £65k could genuinely feel like not enough?

Unfortunately because it is clearly labeled, it's attracted the permanently offended & the nutter.

I hear you OP, we have a higher income but starting to feel the cost increases. People will come at you because it's MN, don't listen to them. It's shit when we have worked hard to get to a decent income and suddenly all the prices go up and it's like being back 10 years ago earning half again.

And yes it's shit for lower earners too, it will get worse for a lot of them though when the slightly higher earners stop spending their money. Then businesses start to go under, staff are let go and the cycle continues.

so you have no mortgage and have the cheek to call someone else ridiculous 😂

It's not a high family income so no wonder you're struggling

😂

YANBU.

My household income is similar to yours and I live in Greater Manchester. Nursery/ wrap around/ holiday club fees are £1350 a month and mortgage is £1450. That's before council tax, bills, food etc. My kids only activity is swimming at £90 per month - neither can swim so we can't give that up yet.

The mortgage is fixed for 3 more years and paying out of it would be close to £30k so I can't downsize yet.

I'm dreading winter to be honest, not sure how we'll be able to heat the house - I've got a woodburner and just had delivery of wood, but the kids bedroom will still be cold.

Yes, there are people surviving on lower incomes but their housing and childcare costs are usually lower. I don't live in a huge house either, just an average Victorian semi.

Hope you’re ok @Soddinghell
its not a contest if you’re struggling you’re struggling
im not somehow more deserving of sympathy because our combined income is half of yours
its shit for most
a 65k dual income home is hardly the ducking one percent

So total take home will be about 50k.

Pcm- 4k
Youve told us:-
Childcare- 600pcm
Clubs (drop all non swimming ones) - 125pcm (I've split in half as I'd cut gymnastics)
Im estimating:-
Food shop - 600pcm
Mortgage - 1200pcm
Fuel - 500pcm
Utilities (gas, elec, water, council tax) - 400
Insurances (car and house) - 100

Total spend 3.5k

Leaves 500pcm for savings, clothes etc

@HairyMothballs

You have

No mortgage
No childcare bills

Clearly you are out of touch with modern living costs if you think £65k stretches that far these days when you factor in 2 bills you clearly haven't had to pay out for in decades

Ridiculous?! Rich from the person with no mortgage or childcare costs!

@HairyMothballs how much would that humble 1930s semi cost you if you had to buy it now? Imagine you’ve got a ten per cent deposit and then work out what a 90 per cent mortgage would cost you every month.

I can only sympathise OP, as a PP said 65k sounds a lot but nowadays it really isn't! Evrything is becoming more and more unaffordable.

But you don’t have a mortgage. That saves a lot of money (for all we know
OP has a mortgage of £1k per month:that’s what we have),

do you pay full council tax? For prescriptions? for childcare? Communiting costs?

OP might have a high sounding income, but her expenses at this stage of life could be really large