To think DD has ADHD?

[TheEighthHorcrux]

With the new school year starting, this has been on my mind constantly but I'm not sure where to start or if I'm being over sensitive.

DD(6) is smart, funny and outgoing. At school she is ahead in reading, has lots of friends and has never been flagged as disruptive/naughty beyond a few minor incidents.

That being said, she is a ball of constant energy. She falls over a lot. Cannot sit still at all, whether for family meals, doing an activity or watching a film. She can be quite careless, she often loses things or breaks her toys - never deliberately. She rushes through her homework and is very easily distracted. Her handwriting is a scrawl, at best, and she often makes mistakes because she is trying to get things done too fast. I have to sit with her and tell her to slow down and take her time constantly. Despite multiple efforts to show/teach her, she struggles to use a knife and fork and very often drops food down herself because she is rushing. She talks CONSTANTLY. Often just to make noise, rather than to say anything. She struggles to follow instructions, or at least listen to them, and is very easily distracted.

I obviously love her more than anything in the world, but she is also exhausting. Meal times are painful as she's often spilling food/falling off her chair. Her clothes are often ruined after 1/2 wears and she doesn't take care of things like new toys despite us emphasising the importance of taking care of things. I try and be patient but find I wear thin after a while and I snap, which obviously doesn't feel good.

I know a lot of the things above are normal 6-year old behaviours, but all combined I'm worried she may have ADHD and now she's moving up to year 2 I wonder if now is the time to tackle it before it starts to have a real impact on her education/progression.

Trouble is, I worry that we won't be taken seriously because she isn't disruptive and is progressing well at school. For that reason I think why rock the boat? But I've also got a nagging feeling there is something there we should investigate.

I have moments where I think it's because of something we have done wrong but all of these things (poor balance, restlessness, chatty nature) seem so intrinsic within her.

AIBU or is this something we should pursue?

Possibly sounds more like dyspraxia? For an Adhd diagnosis they have to present the same at school as they do at home and yeah I think you are right in that if she is presenting at school how you are saying I think it may be unlikely to be Adhd. My son has adhd and is very disruptive in class can't sit down or be still at all ever even on medication and is behind in all subject other than reading. But have a chat with class teacher and/or senco.

I agree with above poster! Have school any concerns?
bothibg jumps out to suggest adhd from your post!

Adhd needs the child to be disruptive in more than one setting. My 5 yr old is the same at home and an angel at school.

Sounds exactly like my dd9 who was diagnosed with adhd 18mths ago.
i always thought dyspraxia from 5yrs, mainly due to the clumsiness and inability to use cutlery.
6 is the earliest they usually diagnose, it could be normal development until then.

it was in yr3 that our teacher spotted the signs and finally listened to us. Previous teachers studiously ignored it before and sent me away with a flea in my ear.

start keeping evidence logs of behaviours. For diagnosis you need the behaviours to be seen in 2 settings, usually school and home but doesn’t have to be!!

keep pushing, you need to advocate for your child, they will ignore if they can as sencos are so overworked.

this website is brilliant, I’ve linked to the page for the test you can do which will also give you an idea.
www.additudemag.com/adhd-test-for-kids/

good luck 💐

As previous posters have said for an adhd diagnosis it needs to be present in two situations ie at school and at home but as an autism/adhd mum I also know kids, including my own can mask heavily at school. Girls even more so than boys. So this isn't full proof. Kids can present differently at school and at home and many professionals recognise this.

my son has Autism and adhd. He is not disruptive in class. He holds it in all day then explodes when he gets home.

I'm an adult with suspected autism and adhd and have masked my whole life. I was never disruptive in class and of an average intelligence. I was a rusher too.

no one on here can tell you whether your daughter has adhd but some things you have said might suggest it. Have you considered dyspraxia too?? My own Dd should have been referred for a dyspraxia assessment but it never happened as the school forgot 🙄

my son has autism and adhd.

My daughter has no formal diagnosis but has learning difficulties and also some of the traits you have suggested and I often wonder if she has adhd. She is a constant ball of energy. Doesn't stop talking, goes from one activity to another. She is more tiring than my oldest who is formally diagnosed.

Symptoms have to be present in more than one setting - but they don’t have to be present in every setting. If school is very engaging to your DDs interests, then theoretically ADHD might not lead to disruptive behaviour in that setting.

You might have an uphill struggle convincing anyone about it at this stage, but it’s always worth flagging so that, in future, if and when there’s a bigger “problem” someone can look back and see that things were flagged at an earlier stage and it builds the case.

Thank you. It's definitely something I'm going to talk to the school about.

I can't really see how she would be able to 'turn off' the fidgeting at school. When we sit down at home she is always twisting around, putting her feet up, falling off, etc.

Dyspraxia has crossed my mind too. I have no experience of any of these things so not entirely sure what I'm looking for or what it means (if anything!), however her cousin who is the same age certainly isn't as clumsy/dynamic/talkative/in a rush as she is.

It could just be her personality and we need to do more to support her to slow down, take her time, take more care etc.

She is my one and only child so this is all new to me and I've no idea what I'm doing!

Girls with ADHD are not always disruptive and are frequently not diagnosed until they are older. Research ADHD in girls and if you feel that your daughter has many of the mentioned traits it might be worth having a talk with her teacher

DD was never disruptive at school! The school raised concerns when she was 5, because she was very shy and didn’t speak in front of the class. They put her in a booster maths group for a while, and once she had caught up, that was it. I raised concerns throughout secondary school, and her teachers just looked blank at me!

People tend imo, to obsess with how boys with ADHD, present at school - it’s external such as disruptive, behaviour problems. With girls, the hyperactivity can be in the mind - constant internal chatter (leads to difficulty in sleeping), volatile emotionally, forgetful, disorganised….

As a pp has said, there could either be dyspraxia and/or ADHD. Look up about how ADHD presents in girls. This is a good website for a start:

www.additudemag.com

well I'd self refer her to OT to get the movement ABC done - my DD has DCD (dyspraxia) and they'll assess fine and gross motor - I'd want that done as it's more straightforward and usually a lower wait list than ADHD ones and can be ruled in/out. Girls with ADHD are often not disruptive, I'd go to the professionals if I had concerns regardless of what school said.

You've just described my 8yo to a T. I've long suspected dyspraxia...but..she can ride a bike very well. She's also pretty good at dancing, yet can't walk without falling.

PS - I should say girls can fidget constantly!

They definitely don't need to be the same at school as at home. As some pps have said, girls in particular can mask very well at school some times. I would be prepared it can make it very hard to get a diagnosis of she does have ADHD. It's taken us 4-5 years and eventually we had to go private because CAMHS said because school weren't seeing any issues they couldn't diagnose DD. The private psychologist had much more experience with girls with ADHD and was able to review everything, speak to us, speak to DD and diagnose her.

I have ADHD and it sounds very much like she does to me,.
ADHD is underdiagnosed in children born as females - this is even recognised in the NICE guidelines.
Don't worry about the school not thinking she does...most teachers don't understand has ADHD is presented in children born as females.
Choose a teacher who you thinks knows your child well and ask them to complete the forms.

I have wondered about girls being able to mask it and presenting differently.

School have nothing but praise for her. They do call her chatterbox because she never stops talking, and that's often the reason she ends up getting told off or moved. But it's never been anything to write home about, school have never expressed concern and she's been going since nursery.

For me, it's the clumsiness and carelessness (along with the incessant talking) that is most exhausting. I feel guilty for telling her off when she drops things, breaks things. falls off her chair, spills her food or drinks, etc but it's constant and no amount of telling her to sit on her bum, hold her fork properly, slow down seems to make a difference.

Thank you for all of your insights and advice so far. I'll definitely be looking to talk to the school when she's back and see where we can go from there.

My adult DS got diagnosed with severe to moderate ADHD with all those symptoms and more.

As he did so well at achool got high marks and wasn't in naughty board much bc he was "so clever" teachers told me couldn't possibly have adhd despite me asking repeatedly and getting him emotional support for his short fuse at school and he was constantly chided die talking and figwrting to take homework home. They didn't mind as he's do it in 20 mins

.. 🧐

He did have adhd and he does and it was only during lockdown when he went to pieces that we argued back

I wish I had argued back earlier

Whoops sorry didn't mean to quote first OP!

chided for talking and forgetting to take homework home. They didn't mind as he'd do it in 20 mins when given it...

You've just described me, I was diagnosed with adhd as an adult in my 20s

My first thought was DCD as well, but there is a massive overlap between all the neurodevelopment disorders so it could be ADHD or both.

The waitlists for diagnosis of any neurodevelopment disorder are horrendous (in my area it is 3 years for ADHD, 2 years for ASD, they don't see DCD on the NHS for children over the age of 6 and schools will only do dyslexia assessments for children who are several years behind peers).

Can you afford to go private? You could start with a neurodevelopmental paediatrician. They wouldn't diagnosis but they could screen (there are lots of questionnaires for most disorders) and indicate where they felt further assessment might be warranted (and then you could choose to go NHS or private).

It definitely sounds like possible ADHD OP, this is the age where I think other DC settle down and it becomes obvious. I think my DS has ADHD/ASD/Dyspraxia or maybe all/none!

Something which stood out from your post, you say school have nothing but praise for her yet in the next sentence that she gets told off/moved for chatting. That’s still disruptive behaviour. My DS’ teachers never approached me about his behaviour at all but I have been quite pushy and as a result have learned that he can’t concentrate/can be disruptive/defiant and challenging. None of this was volunteered to me, I think schools can be scared to tell parents straight until they are approached!

I was wondering if you had any updates OP?

My girls are teenage/young adults and both are currently undergoing assessment. I suspect ADHD/ADD in both of them. Masked very well at school in terms of behaviour- both polite, funny and well behaved. Brains whirring though, everything late, messy, unable to organise, everything forgotten, unable to sleep, chatting all the time, moving constantly and so clumsy. I strongly suspect it in myself too.