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AIBU?

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Original poster

Men asking what age I am

26 replies

Sanpellogrino99 · 05/09/2022 17:15

In the past couple of months I have had men ask me what age I am during the day

I am not sure why
Once was randomly in a hallwall with his wife when we got chatting about radio
Another guy was when I was on holiday and fishing and was just randomly fishing - he wasnt trying to chat me up

Another guy today assumed I had been at Uni in 2012 (I left 2008)

They are all surprised when They find out I am mid thirties and of course no partner

Never had this happen to me before

Is it rude??

OP posts:
Notimeforaname · 05/09/2022 17:17

Its just a question I suppose. Answer them or dont. Not a huge deal to me.

MadMadMadamMim · 05/09/2022 17:20

It's a bit odd. I'd probably answer with 'Why?'

Are you hoping people will say it's because you look so amazingly young?

FrankLampardsBrokenHand · 05/09/2022 17:22

No, why would it be rude?

Original poster
Sanpellogrino99 · 05/09/2022 17:23

MadMadMadamMim · 05/09/2022 17:20

It's a bit odd. I'd probably answer with 'Why?'

Are you hoping people will say it's because you look so amazingly young?

Nope
Just never had it asked me until recently
I wouldnt have ever asked them their age

OP posts:
georgarina · 05/09/2022 17:24

MadMadMadamMim · 05/09/2022 17:20

It's a bit odd. I'd probably answer with 'Why?'

Are you hoping people will say it's because you look so amazingly young?

Yep it's one of the 'I'm 93 and look like I'm in reception' posts

sorrynotathome · 05/09/2022 17:27

“I have had men ask me what age I am during the day”

Do they not want to know how old you are in the night?

BigFatLiar · 05/09/2022 17:28

Who knows.

Perhaps something you said made them wonder about it.

J0y · 05/09/2022 17:34

I think it's rude.

At your age I think it's a desire to get context on how KEEN you are to settle down.

I'm 52 and healthy love clothes, makeup and fashion. So when I'm asked my age I think it's so that the person can assess accurately whether I've been a good little woman and aged well, or whether I'm a strident feminazi who owes it to the world to look better than "this".

Sunnyqueen · 05/09/2022 17:36

The most boring and obvious stealth brag.

balalake · 05/09/2022 17:49

Far more often you seem to read articles where women's ages are quoted than of men.

AchatAVendre · 05/09/2022 17:50

I sometimes get men asking me if I have children. I wonder whether its the same sort of thing.

I think wondering about what age women are must go through some mens' head quite a lot, for reasons known only to themselves.

Original poster
Sanpellogrino99 · 05/09/2022 19:01

J0y · 05/09/2022 17:34

I think it's rude.

At your age I think it's a desire to get context on how KEEN you are to settle down.

I'm 52 and healthy love clothes, makeup and fashion. So when I'm asked my age I think it's so that the person can assess accurately whether I've been a good little woman and aged well, or whether I'm a strident feminazi who owes it to the world to look better than "this".

I dont understand
Being a good little girl meaning you have done everything the patriachy wanted you to do?

OP posts:
Datingadviceplease · 05/09/2022 19:01

sorrynotathome · 05/09/2022 17:27

“I have had men ask me what age I am during the day”

Do they not want to know how old you are in the night?

Im meaning its broad daylight in the middle of the day not a 'get to know you' setting

Culldesack · 05/09/2022 19:03

sorrynotathome · 05/09/2022 17:27

“I have had men ask me what age I am during the day”

Do they not want to know how old you are in the night?

😂

Isitsixoclockalready · 05/09/2022 19:14

I guess that traditionally it was seen as 'rude' to ask a lady how old she is but that is a bit of an old fashioned attitude nowadays I would have thought.

Fatballs · 05/09/2022 19:16

What is a “hallwall”?

Butchyrestingface · 05/09/2022 19:20

Ask them why they're asking.

No-one here can tell you why it's happening, especially if it's a recent development.

VladmirsPoutine · 05/09/2022 19:25

sorrynotathome · 05/09/2022 17:27

“I have had men ask me what age I am during the day”

Do they not want to know how old you are in the night?

I audibly cackled! Grin

5128gap · 05/09/2022 19:33

I get asked this a lot. Its because at first glance I look young as have lots of 'youth signifiers', long hair, casual clothes, small and slim, tend to be accompanied by 20s people and small DC, but am actually old, which obviously shows when you look properly. It confuses people.
I know this because I say 'why?' When they ask me.

Culldesack · 05/09/2022 21:07

OP, do you want to work at M&S, have friends who tell you your online shopping is unethical, or get upset when you're not asked for ID in supermarkets?

SwordToFlamethrower · 05/09/2022 21:13

I was at a christening yesterday and a woman opened a conversation with me by asking me how old I thought she was.

She was clearly fishing so I over shot by loads. Felt very satisfying.

J0y · 05/09/2022 21:15

Sanpellogrino99 · 05/09/2022 19:01

I dont understand
Being a good little girl meaning you have done everything the patriachy wanted you to do?

Show quote history

Yes.

When I was in my 30s, I suspected that if men asked me my age it was to assess where I was in life, keen to settle down, keen to settle, up for a fling, only looking for a husband, getting desperate, losing the will to carry on dating, could they capitalise on any of this context? It was probably useful information for a man to know if I was 32 or 38 and it's not as easy to tell a woman's age as women are made to believe, or fear.

And yes, you have understood correctly, now when somebody asks my age, a man, i have the feeling that it's to figure out if I've aged well or not.

tellyiscrap · 05/09/2022 21:19

🥱

Choconut · 05/09/2022 21:26

Maybe in the first case it was because you were talking about radio and the stations or music or whatever that you were talking about didn't seem to match with your age?
With the fishing guy maybe it was just something to say because he couldn't think of anything else to ask and it seemed polite to say something? Just small talk.

There's only 4 years between 2008 and 2012 so it's easy to think someone is that much older or younger than they actually are once you get to mid thirties. I wouldn't think too much of it. I'm mid forties as is OH and last year 3 people including a woman mistook me for his daughter! - he is grey and balding though and I was wearing sun glasses and a hat on two of those occassions.

nutellachurro · 05/09/2022 21:26

It depends on context of the conversation surely

The radio chat - were you discussing music from a certain era? Or giving opinions on older or much newer songs

The uni one, very understandable to discuss age if they wrongly assumed you'd been in a different graduating year

The holiday one - need more context entirely