Friend inviting other kids to sons birthday treat

Lavender200 · 2022-09-05T16:14:46+00:00

For my sons birthday this week, I had invited one friend to go to the local soft play after school just the 2 of them as we can't afford a party. Turn up for school pick up and this friend has invited lots of other kids in the class, giving them the day and location, saying its for my sons birthday party. So annoyed and awkward!! Do I mention something to his mum? Will have to tell the other kids it's not a party! Feel like cancelling it

Chamomileteaplease · 05/09/2022 17:16

Yes hand it back to the mum - was it her or the boy who spread the word? Either way, get her to undo the mess! How rude! Please don't cancel, for your child's sake.

Just when you think there aren't any new situations to hear about on AIBU?😀

Original poster

Lavender200 · 05/09/2022 17:20

It was my sons friend who invited all the kids in class today, my son tried to tell them it wasn't a party.

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NancyVicious · 05/09/2022 17:22

If I was the other kid's mum I wouldn't be taking my child to any 'party' I didn't have an actual invitation too so I wouldn't worry

OnlyFoolsnMothers · 05/09/2022 17:24

Surely she’s no expecting you to pay for them

chipsandpeas · 05/09/2022 17:26

how old are they

womaninatightspot · 05/09/2022 17:26

I wouldn’t take my kid to a party without invitation. Might WhatsApp the other parent though. Children can be quite inventive sometimes re. Invites.

ifonly4 · 05/09/2022 17:29

How old are they? Either way, you haven't invited anyone else (who may turn up - and I doubt many will without parents talking to you), so you're not obliged to pay for entry or food.

Original poster

Lavender200 · 05/09/2022 17:31

They are 8! Yeah that's true, hopefully parents won't take too much notice!
Just feel bad for the kids expecting a party and there isn't one!

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SleepingStandingUp · 05/09/2022 17:31

Did she think, knowing you couldn't afford it, that casually getting other Mom's to come along and pay for their own kids would be nice for your DS?

SlowHandClap · 05/09/2022 17:34

Of course say something to his mum . Just be polite but make it clear it's up to her to correct it as you are not hosting a party
I bet she's going to be embarrassed, poor woman , kids eh

lilaccottagegarden · 05/09/2022 17:35

SleepingStandingUp · 05/09/2022 17:31

Did she think, knowing you couldn't afford it, that casually getting other Mom's to come along and pay for their own kids would be nice for your DS?

Seriously?

That is awkward - I think you have to take the nice but direct approach here!

Original poster

Lavender200 · 05/09/2022 17:35

SleepingStandingUp · 05/09/2022 17:31

Did she think, knowing you couldn't afford it, that casually getting other Mom's to come along and pay for their own kids would be nice for your DS?

Sorry if wasn't clear...it's my sons friend that has invited other kids in the class, not his mum

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Saynotothefishtank · 05/09/2022 17:36

So it was the child inviting people, not the mum? Oh dear.

In this situation I’d actually send a message to the whole class wattsapp group saying “Hey guys, apparently there’s a misunderstanding between the children in class, so I thought I’d better clarify! This year, what with cost of living crisis, DS is not having a birthday party. Instead we are taking him out for a few hours with one close friend. Apparently some of the children were talking about this today, and got in a muddle, and think that there’s a party. There is not. Kids eh. 🤣🙈”

Then if possible I’d change the date you go and get the mum of the sole real invitee to not tell her idiot child when it is, so you can go safe in the knowledge no others will turn up.

Peanutlicious · 05/09/2022 17:36

My son (approx 7 at the time) once spent a wet play writing invitations to his friends for a non-existent party and handed them all out without me knowing. He put my mobile number on so that evening I got lots of parents thanking me for the invite and saying their children would love to come. Suffice to say I had to tell them all there wasn't a party and I had stern words with my son, though looking back it was pretty funny!

Saynotothefishtank · 05/09/2022 17:38

Ps it’s not uncommon, a kid in our class invited half the class to a sleepover for his birthday.

There was no sleepover. He wasn’t allowed sleepovers. It wasn’t even his birthday. He was just acting out a fantasy.

Kids are weird.

Original poster

Lavender200 · 05/09/2022 17:41

Ha wow that's really clever to remember your mobile number to add too!
Bloody kids! We don't have a group WhatsApp but will try to tell the kids politely tomorrow there's no party, and my son to make it clear!
Making me really anxious, but will try to laugh it off and remember to not invite this kid next time! 🙈

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2bazookas · 05/09/2022 17:42

Make sure you let the venue know its NOT a party and you won't be paying entries for any additional kids. Don't offer drinks or snacks to anyone else.

Sweetmotherofallthatisholyabov · 05/09/2022 17:43

How do you know this all happened? Did your son tell you or did one of the moms? I wouldn't worry about it. If my ds came home telling me that he was obeyed to a party I'd wait for an official invite (ie from a grown up) before doing anything

JubileeTissues · 05/09/2022 17:44

Nobody is going to turn up to a "party" because a random eight year old told their kid they are invited. No need for any whatsapping or putting straight.

pawkins · 05/09/2022 17:48

For DC’s party last year, we invited half the class via texts to their parents. . I got a few messsges from other parents asking where and when the party was on as DC had invited them personally. It was embarrassing but these things happen. Just let the other parents know if they get in touch. FWIW I’d never bring my child to a party if I didn’t receive an invitation.

Original poster

Lavender200 · 05/09/2022 17:49

Sweetmotherofallthatisholyabov · 05/09/2022 17:43

How do you know this all happened? Did your son tell you or did one of the moms? I wouldn't worry about it. If my ds came home telling me that he was obeyed to a party I'd wait for an official invite (ie from a grown up) before doing anything

The kids came running out at pick up asking me if they are going to the party at the place and day we had arranged with this 1 child! I was like what party?!!
Yeah I'm hoping the parents won't take much notice with no invite.
I'm glad it's common!

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Original poster

Lavender200 · 05/09/2022 17:50

Saynotothefishtank · 05/09/2022 17:36

So it was the child inviting people, not the mum? Oh dear.

In this situation I’d actually send a message to the whole class wattsapp group saying “Hey guys, apparently there’s a misunderstanding between the children in class, so I thought I’d better clarify! This year, what with cost of living crisis, DS is not having a birthday party. Instead we are taking him out for a few hours with one close friend. Apparently some of the children were talking about this today, and got in a muddle, and think that there’s a party. There is not. Kids eh. 🤣🙈”

Then if possible I’d change the date you go and get the mum of the sole real invitee to not tell her idiot child when it is, so you can go safe in the knowledge no others will turn up.

Thank you, I think I'm going to rearrange the actual playdate to a weekend or time when he can't tell anyone else

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