My friend bossy around my kids

[kirstymc11xx]

I have 2 DC (aged 5 and 7) and have noticed that my friend is getting rather bossy towards them, including when I'm there and we're at my house.
Things like telling my kids they're not allowed a biscuit (I let them have biscuits as a treat, ok in moderation), telling them they're not allowed fizzy drink (I get them Fanta from time to time as a treat, certainly not every day) and other such examples.
I'm always saying "it's ok Sarah (not her real name btw), I've given them the cup of Fanta or biscuit" then she's saying how terrible such things are for their teeth and how her DC would never be allowed to drink fizzy drinks.
That causes her DC and mine to clash. Mine teases hers by saying I'm allowed but your not, or hers might tease mine about having too much sugar and getting fat/teeth rotting (none of which are even remotely on the horizon btw).
I find her a bit overbearing towards my DC. I know she means well but like just accept that I'm their parent.

If they don’t get biscuits and fizzy drinks very often, surely it’s fairly easy to only give them when you’re not with your friend/her children?

Your house your rules, same as when your kids have to have bread and water when they go to hers.

Yeah cos that's exactly what the OP said, wasn't it? 🙄

YABU

You're being unreasonable letting your children have things you know hers aren't in front of them

Also YABU for giving such young children fizzy drinks of any kind

1/10 friend

And 3/10 parent

A friend telling my children they aren't allowed things I would normally permit would grind my gears. That said, if I knew she felt that strongly about occasional pop and biscuits I wouldn't give it to my children in front of her and wait until she had gone.

I have a friend that has quite faddy and restrictive ideas about food which are also liable to change at a moments notice which I do struggle with. One week her and her children will all be on sugar free vegan diets and she would make pointed comments about milk being full of mucus when mine were drinking it. If mine had some ham she would tell us all how awful the meat industry is. A couple of weeks later we would meet up again, I had packed a veggie lunchbox for my children to avoid the lecture and was agog when hers were eating real meat sausages! Currently they are all gluten free as wheat is bad for everyone.

Given the problem now with NHS dentistry and the rise in obesity you're really not doing your children a favour there. And they do sound spiteful too.

YABU if you value your friendship. For the time your kids are together I’d just offer healthy treats as you know this friend has an issue.

I think yabu for allowing your kids to taunt the other kids about what they’re having.

However your friend sounds uptight not to let kids have treats in moderation and it might also back fire when they’re old enough to make their own food choices….everyone knows if you restrict yourself too much you sometimes end up going overboard when you do let loose!