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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To be peeved out our child maintenance system?

3 replies

Toulouses · 05/09/2022 15:26

AIBU to be peeved that my XH has sent a cheque to our dc for a lot of money when he pays me £30 maintenance per month? He paid zero maintenance for several years and this has risen gradually over the last few years to £30. He pays what the cms have said he should pay, so I can’t dispute this. He is on benefits, can’t find a job because no one will employ him. I don’t want to go into much detail but he has brought this on himself. I don’t know where he’s got the money from but the cheque amounts to many several thousand pounds. I guess the law is being followed with regards to what he pays me but it feels like a kick in the teeth if he can afford these cheques but can only afford to pay £30 towards helping out with their everyday costs that I’ve had to find the money for, and will continue having to find the money for. DC does not have any contact with their father and does not want to have. I’m happy for my dc that they’ve got some money they can keep in their savings account and put towards a car or something but it’s just really rubbish that I continue to muddle along and the cms being so ineffective. I have no faith in the cms investigating properly, he may have taken on jobs cash in hand for all I know.

OP posts:
deedledeedledum · 05/09/2022 16:12

I'm surprised that your DC doesn't take that money and contribute at least some of it to their costs at home.

SpinningFloppa · 13/09/2022 10:44

How old are your dc? I don’t see why this is a bad thing if he isn’t working not much more he can pay? He didn’t have to send it

User354354 · 13/09/2022 11:16

deedledeedledum · 05/09/2022 16:12

I'm surprised that your DC doesn't take that money and contribute at least some of it to their costs at home.

Surely it depends on the age of the DC and how aware they are on the situation

My children have no idea that their father pays nothing towards towards them. I don't want them to know their father is utterly useless.

You can't expect a 10 year old, for example, to receive a 1k cheque and pass it to their mum for groceries.

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