Emotionally weak

[Endofsummerblues]

Dh said, well practically shouted, that I was this, this weekend.
We’re having problems with Dd, 4 and her behaviour, which is difficult to manage, taking her in for an assessment in two months time. We had an exhausting day of her crying, screaming hitting and she was finally asleep. We were both so tired and a bit upset, I started to cry and told him how hard it was all day (I’m currently a sahm) he started to say this wasn’t about me and that we were both emotionally weak, I said it wasn’t weak to be upset about seeing Dd like this and constantly trying everything to help us and feeling exhausted myself and therefore emotional and upset. He kept respecting how I was an emotionally weak person and needed to toughen up etc…was this fair given the circumstances and is crying being emotionally weak 🤷🏻‍♀️

*Repeating, not respecting

Anyone….

Crying is a normal and healthy response to an upsetting day.

Sounds to me like your DH does not currently have the skills to respond to you effectively and criticising you was easier for him than admitting that he also felt awful (presuming he probably did).

I'm sorry he acted like an arsehole towards you. Might be worth contacting your local SENDIASS and seeing if they can signpost you to any support xx

Hello

Your DH is being very unkind!

it actually doesn't really matter whether you're 'emotionally weak' or not. What matters is that you're exhausted & upset and instead of hugging you and doing/saying something to help, he just makes it worse! He's an arse.

I think a LOT of people are 'emotionally weak' or I'd say 'lost some resilliance' right now, 2.5 years of covid & all the worry & uncertainty that has bright, Ukraine & now all this energy worry & CoL, political uncertainty, fear of where that's taking us as a country.

is it any wonder??

on top of that, not only is your daughters behaviour hard work to deal with, you have the worry of WHY she's like this.

is he always such a twat?

Is she being assessed for autism? If so there are a number of resources and advice online on how to avoid meltdowns. There's also an autism calming sensory video on YouTube that can be really helpful. None of these resources will cause harm if it is not autism.

Your husband is being very mean and unhelpful saying that. It sounds a bit abusive tbh. You're only human. You're not crying in front of the child and you need to let off steam at times. All he had to do was give you a hug.

Your 'd'h is shut down and repressed.

He too should be sad and worried for your little girl, it's perfectly normal to express your emotions, and it's one-way people bond.