Re long opening posts

[Arbesque]

Anyone else find they just click off threads when they see a long expanse of green? I realise some posters are anxious to pre empt accusations of drip feeding or the obnoxious behaviour of some posters who deliberately misunderstand an op so they can kick the boot in.

But some opening posts read like a never ending saga.

If I’m able to speed read and skip parts of a gargantuan opening post it irks me when the op ignores anyone who questions or disagrees but will post delightfully sweet replies to people who kisses their bums.

Or doesn’t return at all.

I think it depends as to the actual content as to whether a long OP is a turn off or not.

Sometimes you'll get a long OP which is full of relevant and well structured info so as not to dripfeed important facts later in the thread. Those ones I have no issue with as it mostly cuts down on the unnecessary obvious questions from posters provided they have read the OP and not just steamed into a thread with a title "My 3yo refuses to eat anything yellow" and asked "How old is your DC? Have you tried giving them a banana?"

Other times though it's just absolute waffle and full of unnecessary and confusing extra detail that just distracts from the actual issue at hand and in those cases I just back out straight away as it's not worth the effort. If you're posting about the fact your neighbour is repeatedly doing DIY at 4am on a weekday morning, posters want to know generally whether you have a good relationship with them or not so as to tailor advice accordingly (pop them a quick text vs anonymous note through the letter box) but we don't need a whole 5 paragraph backstory including facts like that you have a bin rota, they make you homemade elderflower wine and you petsit for them every September so they can go and visit Auntie Doris on the Isle of Wight, because she's 85 now and they feel obligated to go and visit to make sure she is coping alright etcetc ad infinitum.

What amuses me is how other posters take on the role of forum moderator, by offering points of advice such as, 'You might consider using paragraphs', 'You haven't answered the OP's question', 'Your post is confusing' , 'Your post is too long' and so on.

This is social media, and there will be a variety of writing styles used, posts will vary with respect to their relevance, and some people might want to tall a long story, others might prefer to fragment their narrative.

Oh no @mrsparsnip - lots and lots of MNers don't use social media. They think it's the devil. MN could not possibly be social media.....

It's kind of the social media equivalent of taking a big smelly shit in the communal toilet.

As for drip feeds I see them as in "good faith" where something comes up in the discussion, "bad faith" deliberate omissions to try and skew the responses and flat out goading and trolling like talking about their child behaving badly then dripping that they have SEN and accusing everyone of being ableist for the sake of a bun fight.

But sometimes a post is confusing, or full of complicated irrelevant information. A thread tends to proceed like a conversation and sometimes in real life you might say 'sorry, I'm getting a bit confused. Was this before or after he asked you to marry him?' Or 'hold on a minute. Is Laura your daughter or your stepdaughter'?

@tanstaafl
I’m the same. If OP is asking something, but can’t be arsed to come back to the thread, I won’t bother either.

I'm ok with it because the alternative is usually drip-feeding, which is far more unforgivable.

There's two different types of "advice" though - one is just being rude and goady because the poster feels some sort of superiority by pointing out the OPs mistakes but the other is genuinely trying to get clarification so posters can give the right advice/support.

If you've got a massive wall of text full of "Friend A, who is Friend B's SILs cousin and a multimillionaire who has a bit of a drinking problem, was really drunk at a party and said to Friend C, who is my ex BFs sister and is now going out with Friend D who we grew up with as next door neighbours as kids and who is known to be on NMW , that she thought she was rude not to offer her a drink when she went to the bar, despite the fact it was a fancy cocktail bar that was really expensive. Friend B said she was totally out of line to say that, especially as she brought it up in front of Friends D and E (who are a couple but only know Friend B from work) and B's SiL, nana, BFFs cousins cats wife and Greta auntie Florence, who is 96 and deaf as a doorpost but still runs marathon every other weekend, at Friend B's hen do when D and E don't know A and C and made them feel really awkward and ruined Friend B's night, AIBU to be annoyed at A?" then it's easy to miss important facts or have trouble understanding the information as presented, especially when that could have been condensed to "Friend A got really drunk and caused a massive row with Friend C because she didn't offer to buy her a drink when she went to the bar at Friend B's hen do. It ruined the whole night for everyone, especially Friend B. AIBU to be annoyed at A considering this is not the first time she has got drunk and caused a scene at a party?"

In those cases, statements like "Your post is confusing" tend to come in the context of "Your post is confusing and I couldn't figure out the relationships so I'm going to base my advice on my interpretation of the facts" ... which may or may not be relevant based on whether the poster has interpreted things correctly.

Anything with vague pronouns ("they/them") is an instant click-off for me.

Especially when there are no paragraphs!

WTF is the matter with people, that they don’t realise that a long, dense block of print needs to be broken up a bit?

"I've never posted before" when they bloody well have because it's exactly the same situation that I read about a week ago. They've just name changed and it's annoying.

A plethora of DNs and DSs and DFs is also confusing. Is it their niece, nephew, neighbour, son, sister, spouse ,father, fiancee, friend? Sometimes it's helpful to spell the word out in full.

Anything else you want to complain about, in the very section you are posting in?

Long opening posts and ones where people have fake names e.g. let’s call her Mary 😴

OPs have to do a variation of "Let's call her Jane" or "Jane (not her real name)" because otherwise the first half dozen posters will invariably ask "I hope that's not their real name, OP" or "Did you realise you left your DCs name in the post, OP?"