Holidaying with mum

[HandbagsnGladrags]

I realise this is a bit of a first world problem but bear with, I need to vent.

Am on holiday with my 73yo mum, all inclusive, nice hotel, not that big. She seems to have reverted to child mode, can't remember where anything is, it's like I'm steering a toddler around. We've been here two days and the place really isn't that big. It's like she thinks she doesn't have to remember anything as I'm here to do everything.

Where are the toilets? Same place they were an hour ago. On repeat.

Also she defers to whatever drink option I'm having. Every single time. I don't know why this annoys me but it does. Have a mind of your own, woman!

Help me with coping strategies please to save me from resorting to all of the gin.

Semi light-hearted, if you hadn't already guessed.

My dad is a bit like this. Also constantly asking what things are, what is happening etc. He does actually have early stage dementia. BUT he has also been like this for decades. So it drives me mad but now I feel mean for it!

Sometimes I let it go. Other times I can't help myself pulling him up on it a bit.

E.g. on holiday we ordered some pizzas. Dad had to keep asking what each one was. I ended up saying, well dad, the one with bits of meat on is a meat one. And the one with bits of vegetables on is a vegetable one. You can see that by looking at them! Before anyone says how mean I am, he is still pretty compos mentis and can absolutely differentiate a bit of sausage from a vegetable!!

I think you've done your daughterly duty, Handbags, and then some. Home tomorrow! Keep focusing on that. I would suggest doing one small thing to delight your mother, just one. Not for her sake, but for yours. In years to come you'll remember that one thing and it will comfort you.

I hear you though, definitely. Loud and clear. Home tomorrow!

Sorry to worry you but this sounds like she could be suffering from dementia. It is well hidden when she is at home and everything is familiar. When she is in an unfamiliar place, she struggles. Decision making also becomes difficult.

My mum, (who had already been diagnosed with dementia) did this on her last holiday, not being able to find the bathroom in a one bedroom apartment.....for the whole week, and also let me make every decision, from where we sat, where we went, to lunch orders to drinks.

Another sign was that she was unable to work out change. So if your mum buys something with a £10 note, the cost is £6, ask her how much change should she get? or ask her to add up a simple bill, say two £5 drinks and a £2 cake. Her reaction may frighten you, or watch for her trying to avoid having to work it out.

I hope I am wrong.......

Sadly this was the first sign that my DM had dementia. Couldn't cope with the unknown.

You need to book a GP assessment and go from there.
We ignored for too long

Thanks for keeping me company, people.

She doesn't have dementia. Since my dad died she has relied on me & my sister for everything. Even though it was 12 years ago and she's perfectly capable of doing things for herself, and she could have built herself a life as she was still young. But she chose not to and that's a lot of pressure on us when we have our own busy lives.

Steeling myself for the evening ahead. I don't have any more inane conversation in me.

I don't want to worry you but I too think this is the start of cognitive decline or dementia. Really common to first notice out of usual environment and short term memory problems of where things are.

She has classic symptoms of cognitive decline
We first noticed my mum on holiday

early diagnosis helps apparently