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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

WIBU to leave this Christening early?

31 replies

StressfulBedtimes · 04/09/2022 20:02

I was with a family member over the weekend and they made a sober PA comment about me leaving their child’s Christening what is in their eyes too early, then a very nasty drunken comment about the same thing and also something about me making it all about me
I was very taken aback by this, partly because the child’s christening was now four years ago and I’ve had no comment since (it came up now as I mentioned I was going to a christening in a few weeks) and also because I don’t think I was unreasonable to leave at the time I did
But I am willing to apologise if it turns out I was

The circumstances; the christening started at 12pm, we left at 5ish, we went to the church, had some buffet and mingled at the party then left
We had 3 very young children (all under 5) and a newborn, I had had a c-section 3 weeks prior to the christening day
I was exhausted, leaking, bleeding and uncomfortable and just wanted to get home and settle the kids, in particular the baby who had been passed from pillar to post all day
I did not mention any of those as the reasons though, just breezily said ‘we’re going to go now and get the baby settled, had a lovely day, baby is gorgeous etc and enjoy your night’ and that was that
Now the party went on till 3am so I can see how it must’ve felt like we left very early, but I really gave it a good go giving them 5 hours (I could’ve happily gone home at 2…or not even gone at all tbh!)

Should I have powered through a little bit longer? Was leaving early making it about me??

OP posts:
SunshineClouds1 · 04/09/2022 20:04

Christ no, that's long enough or even too long in your circumstances.

WimpoleHat · 04/09/2022 20:05

Your family member is very odd. Perfectly normal to leave at 5 when an event has started at 12. Even more so when you have kids - and double that when you have a newborn. You really have nothing to apologise for.

2anddonefornow · 04/09/2022 20:06

Our sons christening is at 11.30, I hope no one is still here at 5!

Hugasauras · 04/09/2022 20:06

Bloody hell, you did well going at all with a newborn so soon post-op and two other young kids! Relative is being a twat.

Hugasauras · 04/09/2022 20:07

Were they still partying at 3am with a baby??? Confused

Hummingturd · 04/09/2022 20:07

Of course YWNBU, with 3 young kids, including a newborn & c-section. You were there fore the ceremony and then some socialising after. I'm struggling to understand why this family member isn't just grateful you made it all.

Original poster
StressfulBedtimes · 04/09/2022 20:09

To be fair it was early for our family (large Irish family of big big drinkers) we were the first group to leave

Also we had three children plus the newborn, not including

And yes hugasaurus she was asleep in her pram apparently

OP posts:
girlmom21 · 04/09/2022 20:11

They're lucky you went at all 3 weeks after a c-section, Jesus Christ!

thefirstmrsrochester · 04/09/2022 20:12

Where the heck had the christenee been punted if the party was still going at 3am?

Hats off to you going at three weeks post partum anyway.

They sound nuts.

Original poster
StressfulBedtimes · 04/09/2022 20:13

I would’ve been grateful someone in my circs came too @Hummingturd and I thought they were, however it looks like they’ve been harbouring some resentment so I just needed to check I wasn’t being one of those nuns who think only them and their baby matter
I wish I’d have stayed gone in my pjs now

OP posts:
Original poster
StressfulBedtimes · 04/09/2022 20:13

Nuns = Mums, I’m not a nun 🤦🏻‍♀️

OP posts:
Original poster
StressfulBedtimes · 04/09/2022 20:17

@thefirstmrsrochester the party was held in their friends pub

OP posts:
GreekGod · 04/09/2022 20:17

Please don't feel this way. Don't fall into this trap of feeling you should always be doing more. It took me many years to realise after 20+ years of marriage and 3 teenage kids later that not everyone is going to like me or approve me and the sooner I don't give a crap the easier my life gets and trust me, it got a lot easier. I ended up putting a lot of people in their place and I started to enjoy my life and my family a lot more.

FairFuming · 04/09/2022 20:19

Wtf is wrong with them? They are lucky you went at all 3 weeks after a csection with 4 small kids! To be so tone deaf and still weird about it after 4 years is actually crazy

loudlylikealion · 04/09/2022 20:19

Your family member should be grateful you even turned up having recently had a baby. Sounds like they might have been jealous of the attention your cute newborn was getting. But to hold on to this for 4 years and you'd stayed 5 hours! Bloody ridiculous.

Essexgirlupnorth · 04/09/2022 20:19

Can't believe she has had a grudge about this for 4 years.

YANBU I wouldn't expect a christening to go on till 3am the ones I have been to have been the service then a few hours at a venue with buffet and a few drinks.
Well done for going at all with a new born. I would ignore her comments.

ElspethTascioni · 04/09/2022 20:21

With 4 kids you’re not a very good nun @StressfulBedtimes 🤣

Beelezebub · 04/09/2022 20:30

A christening lasted thirteen hours?!

Bloody hell

They’re lucky you went at all. Tell whoever it was to bugger off.

SeasonFinale · 04/09/2022 20:35

They are not just drinkers they are bonkers

DelorisVC · 04/09/2022 20:37

I wonder if we are related. This is the sort of thing my in laws do.
Its completely batshit.
yanbu but what can you do.

Blowthemandown · 04/09/2022 20:38

@StressfulBedtimes please set that person straight ‘would have loved to stay longer but 3wks post-op and I was extremely uncomfortable. I was proud to last that long and it turns out you have spent 4 years harbouring resentment, which is very unfair and frankly ridiculous’

Caroffee · 04/09/2022 20:45

Never heard of a Christening which goes on until 3am. 12 - 5 sounds a lor more usual.

FaazoHuyzeoSix · 04/09/2022 20:46

You were totally heroic to manage 5 hours. I wouldn't have lasted 2. You weren't making it "all about you" unless you made your farewell into a sound-of-music "so long, farewell, auf wiedersehen, goodbye" song and dance routine.

Hollywolly1 · 04/09/2022 20:52

Some people think everything is about them op. Well done for even going and staying as long as you did. Personally I wouldn't even entertain that entitled person again

itsgettingweird · 04/09/2022 20:54

5 hours for a christening is plenty long enough without 3 young children, a newborn and post C section.

You're family member is odd and actually she's making it all about her. I bet her LO wasn't partying until 3am Wink