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Car seating arrangement

38 replies

littlemouse15 · 04/09/2022 18:05

AIBU, My partner wants to always give his 6year old daughter the option weather to sit in the passenger seat or in the back with my Son also 6.

If she wants the front I have to get in the back. I feel as an adult I should have the option of sitting in the front? I understand if he's picked her up and she's already in the front I'm not going to ask her to move. But if we are all leaving together for a day out I would expect grownups in front and kids in back. I'm also not against swapping on occasion but feel like it should be my option? Am I being entitled here?

OP posts:

Am I being unreasonable?

190 votes. Final results.

You are being unreasonable
You are NOT being unreasonable
Apollonia1 · 05/09/2022 09:59

Sure, she can go in the front*. But you drive and he sits in the back.

*ignoring the safety issue.

Maves · 05/09/2022 11:14

Mmmm he has limited time with her be prob likes to sit and chat etc I wouldn't t say it's the safest option all the time but get his point of view yiu can sit in the front everyday it's just a seat.

GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing · 05/09/2022 11:19

Nope. No way would I be getting in the car with him again until he’s knocked this on the head.

My children know that it’s always adults in the front - even my 13 knows this. Unless someone is very car sick - or the adult passenger freely volunteers to go in the back.

I’d either bin him off, or I’d be bringing my own car everywhere from now on. Maybe you could do the driving and put him on the back?

i also agree that “she’s a princess” is vom inducing. What are you then? Her minion or servant?

Brefugee · 05/09/2022 11:21

Also 'she's a princess' and 'it's her car'...

haha - no way. I'd be all "i'M in the front or I'm not coming"
Bin him off and find someone who's not as beholden to a princess, it will only get worse from here on in.

GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing · 05/09/2022 11:21

We used to have to wait until the driver said 'Let's go!'

I have a rule that only the driver gets to say “let’s go” 😂 Which is always me!

thing47 · 05/09/2022 11:44

Zero chance a 6-year-old gets seating preference ahead of me, @littlemouse15, it just wouldn't be happening as I wouldn't be going under those circumstances.

Does this behaviour by DP manifest in other ways too? I'd be very wary of the whole relationship if it does.

beachcitygirl · 05/09/2022 11:57

Not a chance in hell I'd go in the back so a "princess" could go in the front.
Put your glass slipper down firmly now OP.

RedHelenB · 05/09/2022 14:21

littlemouse15 · 04/09/2022 18:41

We don't live together, both work during the week. He occasionally sees us on a Wednesday afternoon. But apart from that it's just weekends so he hasn't seen any of us but I do still understand your point and he has said he wants to spend as much time with her as possible but they do have daddy daughter time and go on for a few hours just them most weekends.

In that case I don't see him as being unreasonable.

BackT · 05/09/2022 14:24

Absolutely sod that.
If my child is in the car and an adult gets in I ask her to move to the back.


I would not and could not stand for that.

FinallyHere · 05/09/2022 16:39

Nope. No way would I be getting in the car with him again until he’s knocked this on the head.

This ^

It doesn't bode well for your relationship.

Ponderingwindow · 05/09/2022 17:52

A 6 yo should be in the back seat in a size appropriate child seat.
you shouldn’t even agree to get in the car with him if she isn’t secured properly.

CakeMonster1 · 06/09/2022 07:37

I'm sorry but I think you'd find if for any reason police pulled you over (even if she is in a car seat) and his daughters sat in the front with an adult sat in the back, then damn sure they'd have something to say. Under 12's shouldn't be in the front unless there's no other seating available and that includes being in a car seat appropriate to age/weight/height.

Sorry but odd behaviour that he wants her in the front only to leave you as an adult in the back with another child (who will be feeling left out)

This princess thing will also back fire in a few years too as he's allowing her to manipulate her dad and he's encouraging it.

Not a healthy relationship all round I'm afraid. Also as above comment stated, when does this stop? When she's in her 20's?

Naaaaa this needs nipping in the bud now

BertieBotts · 06/09/2022 09:03

As others have said, airbags are designed for adults. Designed to go off in the region of the adult's chest. They are highly dangerous for children as their head is about the same height as an adult's chest, even if they are in a booster seat (and it's illegal for her to sit there without a booster seat). The airbag explodes at a speed of 160mph - it's like being punched. Children have been killed by airbags.

Also all kinds of questions of priority and fairness here. Doesn't this feel unfair to your son? Way to set up sibling rivalry and jealousy. Just make it easy and fair (not to mention safe). Kids in the back, adults in the front. Maybe there's a case for a kid in the front (in appropriate car/booster seat) if they have severe travel sickness or it's only one adult and one kid in the car.

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