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AIBU?

To ask how to say it's ok not to bring presents

30 replies

LemonDrop22 · 04/09/2022 17:01

Hosting a child's birthday party just before payday (for many monthly paid folks), aware many people will be broke from holidays and cost of school uniforms etc ....

How do I politely/diplomatically tell people they don't need to bring presents on the invitation cards?

How do you phrase it, if you've done it?

I would like a good attendance as I pay for 20 kids whether 20 turn up or not (and obviously would like a nice buzzy party too) , and am worried finances might put people off accepting the invitation.

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Am I being unreasonable?

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Luredbyapomegranate · 04/09/2022 20:38

Mumoftwoinprimary · 04/09/2022 20:19

How about:-

“In these difficult times we are asking for no presents or money for Harry. He just wants to celebrate with his friends. If you really feel the need to buy something - please put a donation in the food bank bin the next time you are in Tesco’s. They are particularly short of squash and shampoo.”

There is no need for this level of virtue signalling though, people aren't thick.

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pastabest · 04/09/2022 20:41

I've seen this on a few invites recently. The first time I complied and didn't take a present. Everyone else did except one other mum and we both felt really embarrassed.

Since then I've ignored it like everyone else.

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Aug12 · 04/09/2022 21:00

I’d write, we want your presence not presents, to help us celebrate Xs birthday

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W0tnow · 04/09/2022 21:07

I did it for my kids when they were very little. Their grandparents had gone nuts and we had so much STUFF. Once, my daughter was invited to a party where ‘no gifts’ were specially requested. She drew the birthday girl a picture and the mum said her daughter absolutely loved it. People do feel awkward coming empty handed so you could suggest something like that?

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LemonDrop22 · 10/09/2022 18:28

Aug12 · 04/09/2022 21:00

I’d write, we want your presence not presents, to help us celebrate Xs birthday

Uugh, missed out on that pun!

Thanks for the suggestions everyone.

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