Unsure how to handle these comments?

[thefamilyremains]

My friend and I were discussing Christmas and I said I needed to even find where my decorations were as I didn’t put up any last year.

She said, yes when I was single too I didn’t put decorations up.

I also made a joke about working late this week and so I’ve literally had toast for dinner for a week. Her response, yes when I was single I didn’t used to cook either.

None of my life choices revolve around me being single. I don’t put up a Christmas tree and just before I turn on the lights I think oh shit I forgot I was single and this wasn’t allowed.

The best way to tackle it is in the moment OP.

Just blandly ask her what being single has to do with xmas trees, working late, or supper choices.
She will likely bluster then, & you can choose to either let it go or keep exploding the nonsense by repeating the question until she sees how ridicukous she is.

If she responds badly, you'll know that her intent was to deliberately ... I dunno slight you, if she's one of those women who believe status is conferred by being partnered up. So if that happens, you'll know she was needling you.

I don’t see the problem. Saying “when I was single” is merely placing themselves in a phase of their life when they also did or didn’t do x. It’s no different from old people saying “when I was young” or middle aged people saying “when I was at Uni” or immigrants/expats saying “when I lived in county y”. It’s just for your information and about them. It’s not a insult against you. It’s a seeking common ground and experience with you type of comment.

Can you test how far she'll go with this "when I was single" theme? How about casually dropping some outlandish revelations into conversation:

1). I'm away to rob a bank at lunch time
2). I'm shagging my boss this weekend
3). I like to dress up in drag and live cam it on OnlyFans

Sounds to me, as pp said, she's just seeking common ground.

When I had a family living at home I used to cook every night as they had to be fed.

I've lived on my own now for years and still enjoy the fact that I don't have that sort of commitment in my life any more.

I usually cook for myself but last night I had soup, ok I'd made that myself, humous, salad and toast for dinner, on my lap watching television. It's something I often do when I feel like it.

Don't put Christmas decorations up, never have done, so can't comment on that.

Just enjoy the fact that you only have to do these things if you want to.

Maybe rather than trying to have a dig at you your friend is envying the fact that you can suit yourself and do whatever you like because you're single; that's how I see it.

I don’t think she’s saying if you’re single you can’t do these things, more she’s empathising when she was single she behaved the same.

Unless there’s backstory for hidden shade, she’s just making conversation.

Yes, she’s trying to build connection.

I read her comments as meaning when she was single it didn't seem worth making the effort to put up decorations or cook a meal when she was the only one who would get the benefit of her efforts. With a partner and possible children to share the work and enjoy the result it seems more worthwhile doing.

You are not the centre of the universe.

She's talking about herself.

I do think you are being a bit oversensitive OP.

She's just relating to you. It's not a jibe. She's just saying she done the same things as you when she lived on her own.