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AIBU?

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Original poster

How do you distribute food at a kids' birthday party?

25 replies

OverComplicator · 04/09/2022 12:47

The question is as daft as it sounds and I'm shamelessly posting here for traffic but bear with me please because I'm stupidly stressed about this.

So DS is turning 7 next week and we've booked him an activity centre kind of thing. It's an all class party and there will be about 30 kids. The party is quite late in the afternoon so we will have to provide dinner. The problem is the activity centre doesn't allow food from outside to be brought in and their snack boxes just contain rolls and some snacks. The rolls are tuna, ham, cheese and jam. I've ordered an even mix of everything so there should be 30 rolls and enough to take into account various dietary requirements.

However, for the kids without dietary requirements how do I distribute the snack boxes? E.g. What if everyone wants just a cheese roll. I obviously wouldn't have enough.

I'm not planning to give the kids a choice. So I thought I'd just hand the ones without dietary requirements a random box but then what if I they want what the kid next to them is having? I don't want tears.

I know it's a total non issue but somehow it's got me really stressed.

The other thing that is stressing me is that most of the party bags (return gift) are the same type except for a few. So one or two kids will have one that is slightly different. I ordered too few and then just couldn't get thr same thing again. Will they mind?

OP posts:
Rutland2022 · 04/09/2022 12:54

I’ve got DD’s party next weekend. We have asked for sandwich preferences so we know they will get what they like.
I think you either have to give everyone without a dietary requirement the same so there’s no arguing or ask for a choice. Random is a bit unfair.

Our venue offers Ham, Cheese, Jam, Choc spread, Egg mayo and Tuna mayo and we have almost all Ham and Cheese chosen with 2 Jam. So if I’d have just got a random mix it wouldn’t have been right.

I’m not sure how 7 year olds react to party bag contents. I’m doing identical for 3 and 4 year olds as I know there would be drama!

Original poster
OverComplicator · 04/09/2022 12:58

Oh no. That's my worry. I didn't ask for preferences just requirements and now the venue has said it's too late to change anything. 😮

OP posts:
BertieQueen · 04/09/2022 13:04

Sorry to say it but when we had a party at a venue that catered like this we asked what they would like on the invite so that when they replied if they could attend they also said what they wanted.

Whens the party? Venue don’t sound very accommodating to be honest.
could you not sneak some extras in that you have made so that you have spares?

Cantbebotheredwithausername · 04/09/2022 13:06

In my opinion it's okay to tell 7-year-olds that they get what they get, but that they are allowed to trade amongst each other. They might be more busy playing than worrying about their food anyway!

TheTeddyBears · 04/09/2022 13:06

Yeah my dd has been to soft play party with sandwiches. We were asked for preference. At her party they were given choice of 3 meals when they arrived at the venue. Other parties we have been to have either been buffet or parents going around with platters offering a variety.

Yeah I'd be a bit concerned as from ur list my daughter would only eat ham or cheese and she's not a fussy child she's a really good eater.

Surely it can't be too late to change it's just sandwiches! Worse case scenario some kids won't eat it but sure they will have other stuff to eat in it.

MaggieFS · 04/09/2022 13:07

Oh. I was going to see ditch the tuna and jam and just have ham or cheese as safe middle ground options (jam v popular IME and tuna not).

But you can't change it... so all you can do is just hand them round and if any kids truly object then all I think you can do is see if anyone will swap.

Re. the odd party bags, do you know any of the friends particularly well who you could pre-ask and explain and give the 'special' ones to them?

JonSnowedUnder · 04/09/2022 13:09

If you can I would change to half ham and half cheese, unless anyone is super fussy they should be ok whichever they are given. Not many kids would pick tuna IME.

Goldfishjones · 04/09/2022 13:14

You are way overthinking this! It will be fine, the kids will swap if they want to or just eat the snacks. They're usually just glad to get a party bag as they whisked of by a parent.

If it will give you peace of mind, you could send a msg round asking for food preference and try and persuade the venue to accommodate this (as if they can't change a sandwich order a week in advance?!!!!) but kids that age will generally eat what's there and fill up at home if they need to.

The party bags won't be an issue. Maybe give out the few "different" ones first and hopefully those kids will disappear quick. Or give out those to the kids with dietary requirements and hope they just open them in the car!

Honestly I think you're worrying way more than you need to.

PicaK · 04/09/2022 13:17

They never eat the sandwiches ime! Put loads of sugary treats out and they'll not even notice/care.
Getting slightly different things in party bags is OK at this age too

Original poster
OverComplicator · 04/09/2022 13:17

Oh no. I should have just asked for preferences. I just don't remember anyone else asking for preferences for these type of parties and I don't remember any of the kids making a fuss but I'm not very observant and my memory sucks. 😥

OP posts:
Namechangedforspooky · 04/09/2022 13:19

Randomly allocating tuna is risky imo. Could you not message everyone and ask for sandwich preferences? Then an even split of cheese and ham for those who don’t reply.

RedHelenB · 04/09/2022 13:20

OverComplicator · 04/09/2022 12:47

The question is as daft as it sounds and I'm shamelessly posting here for traffic but bear with me please because I'm stupidly stressed about this.

So DS is turning 7 next week and we've booked him an activity centre kind of thing. It's an all class party and there will be about 30 kids. The party is quite late in the afternoon so we will have to provide dinner. The problem is the activity centre doesn't allow food from outside to be brought in and their snack boxes just contain rolls and some snacks. The rolls are tuna, ham, cheese and jam. I've ordered an even mix of everything so there should be 30 rolls and enough to take into account various dietary requirements.

However, for the kids without dietary requirements how do I distribute the snack boxes? E.g. What if everyone wants just a cheese roll. I obviously wouldn't have enough.

I'm not planning to give the kids a choice. So I thought I'd just hand the ones without dietary requirements a random box but then what if I they want what the kid next to them is having? I don't want tears.

I know it's a total non issue but somehow it's got me really stressed.

The other thing that is stressing me is that most of the party bags (return gift) are the same type except for a few. So one or two kids will have one that is slightly different. I ordered too few and then just couldn't get thr same thing again. Will they mind?

The norm is to ask what the child wants as a sandwich and then order. Most venues when mine were young used to ask on the day but if not they'd have to state a preference on the rsvp.

viques · 04/09/2022 13:23

I would take a sharp knife so that you can cut the rolls in half and put a variety in each box. Then kids can swap ones they front like.

Flowerytoe · 04/09/2022 13:24

You could just lay them all out at the table and then they can just swap amongst themselves.

viques · 04/09/2022 13:24

Wouldn’t worry about the party bags, just give them out at the door as they are leaving, they can unwrap them at home .

LaundryBin · 04/09/2022 13:30

For the future, I’d just get cheese for everyone (obv with another option for dietary reasons). I wouldn’t ask people for preferences as it’s a huge faff, people don’t rely or else a kid asks for ham ahead but changes their mind on the day. Better to keep it simple.

If you really can’t change (and you might ask again as it’s obviously simple for them to just do cheese) I’d hand them out randomly and let kids just get on with it. Half of them will be left whatever’s in them so no biggie. Definitely don’t overthink it or worry about it as no one cares very much.

hassletassle · 04/09/2022 13:31

I'd explain to the parents beforehand what the crack is

Eg

Can we try and leave the vegetarian ones for the vegetarians

NerrSnerr · 04/09/2022 13:36

If you allocate then please don't pressurise children to eat if they don't want to.

My 8 year old hates being left at parties as she hates feeling forced to eat and it causes a huge amount of anxiety (she wouldn't show it at the party but would be distraught at pick up). I know a couple of other kids who experience the same. Just give the food and leave them to it.

PinkPencilCase · 04/09/2022 13:40

If it's too late to change it, don't worry. In my experience a lot of them won't eat it anyway as the'll be excited and distracted and they'll swap amongst themselves if they want. Just hand them out and think no more of it!

pennysarah · 04/09/2022 13:41

In your situation I'd make up a few extra cheese and jam rolls (individually wrapped) and smuggle them in in my handbag. Then if anyone moans about their allocated sandwich id offer them an alternative. I think tuna is unlikely to be a popular choice. Most party venues I've been to won't have staff watching you the whole time so easy to add your own extras.

WaltzingWaters · 04/09/2022 13:49

As others have said, I’d stick with mainly cheese. Seems odd the venue won’t change it, it’s just sandwiches.
party bags will be fine. Hand them out when they leave, they won’t even realise.

mugcup · 04/09/2022 13:57

The venue are being ridiculous! Why the hell can't they change preferences? It's sandwiches for crying out loud ! Any venue I've ever been at has asked children on arrival (or given a list of options to put inside the invite) sandwiches will should be made fresh on the day so they are being particularly awkward!!! I feel for you tho op, kids parties stress the life outta me!!!

Original poster
OverComplicator · 04/09/2022 13:57

NerrSnerr · 04/09/2022 13:36

If you allocate then please don't pressurise children to eat if they don't want to.

My 8 year old hates being left at parties as she hates feeling forced to eat and it causes a huge amount of anxiety (she wouldn't show it at the party but would be distraught at pick up). I know a couple of other kids who experience the same. Just give the food and leave them to it.

That's the plan. Just Hand them the food and disappear. We have paid for an adult plate of fruits and sandwiches as well so I guess I can always nick a few from there right?

OP posts:
Snugglemonkey · 04/09/2022 14:19

I would scrap the tuna. We gave it as an option, but none chose it. We didn't have a jam option, but there were around 20 ham and 10 cheese. Swapping will be ok as long as there are other things to eat and there isn't something nobody wants.

Snugglemonkey · 04/09/2022 14:19

I would scrap the tuna. We gave it as an option, but none chose it. We didn't have a jam option, but there were around 20 ham and 10 cheese. Swapping will be ok as long as there are other things to eat and there isn't something nobody wants.

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