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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

My husband’s unwillingness to socialise is impacting my daughter

4 replies

Londonlassy · 04/09/2022 12:38

My husband is a kind person and a great provider who loves his family but has absolutely no interest in socialising with anyone except me and our daughter.

Whenever I suggest we go out with other families our have people over he constantly finds excuses not to. On the rare occasions we do have people over he complains about it so much beforehand and is relentless about the house it being absolutely perfect but any pleasure I might of have from the event is gone.

We have no family near by and we never have anyone popping around for a cuppa so most weekends we just hang out at home in front of our various electronic devices.

He is more than happy for me to catch up with friends outside the home and for me to have hobbies but he just does not want to socialise ever.

We live in Australia and been through a couple of years of horrendous lockdowns and I’ve realised my husbands anti-socialisation and me not doing enough in response to it has resulted in my 7 year old daughter having rubbish social skills and few friends.

There are many play dates and parties in my daughter’s class which my daughter never gets invited to. My daughter was diagnosed with ADHD recently and she had a tough time last year before she was diagnosed with lots of meltdowns but she has been amazing on medication much better emotional regulation and participation in class. Her social life however is zip.

I have asked a couple of mums for play dates but have got ‘I missed your message let’s do it another time’ and then deafening silence. I take her to activities but that casual interaction you have when you have cousins and friends to hang out with she just does not have. This weekend I took her gymnastics class and grocery shopping with me and she spent the rest of the weekend on her iPad which is so bloody sad for a 7 year old but I am at a lost as to what to do.

OP posts:
Newusernameaug · 04/09/2022 12:40

It’s hard as well when they’re an only child.

id just ignore your DH and crack on with arranging play dates and socialising, he doesn’t need to be involved.

SheWoreYellow · 04/09/2022 12:40

Can you work around it - arrange to see just a child and the mum?

Londonlassy · 04/09/2022 12:57

I feel like if we decided to have an only child we both need to do more have more people over, go to more social events because she needs
it when there is an event he never wants to go and it’s left up to me. I’m the one who takes her to social activities every time. I would love him to say I’m taking her her bowling or to the park anything to get of the devices. He only does it because I nag him to and then he gets cranky ( he works extremely long hours and wants to spend his weekend napping and on PlayStation )

OP posts:
JonSnowedUnder · 04/09/2022 13:03

Do you both work full time during the week? Is it possible for you just to arrange for play dates after school? You may find people are quite keen for you to host their child after school for a few hours as opposed to all socialising at the weekend.

I'll be honest I wouldn't love getting together with another family I didn't know for a full afternoon but would maybe just pop to the park for an hour on a saturday morning with another parent and child or two.

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