AIBU?
Lie ins on the weekend
Breezyy · 04/09/2022 12:20
Hi would love some outsider perspective on this.
DS is 6 months, he sleeps half 8 til 4/5 am for a feed then sleeps most days for another 3 hours.
I am on maternity leave and husband works 5 days a week, he wakes 6.30 am ish and is home around 5.30 then does some work at home too. He is very hands on so does what he can with baby at all times so I appreciate that so much. The only problem we have is the sleep on weekends, on Saturday he woke up for the night feed 5 am and then 8.30 am before I woke up a little later. Then Sunday I woke up and did the 5 am feed and baby woke almost 9, I was so tired I asked him to feed baby.
Then I had slept a good couple of hours and he was not happy when I woke as he had work to do (he brings work home evenings and has to do things on weekend). I tried explaining I am so tired from having that broken sleep during the weekdays that my body struggles by the time weekend hits. Also baby does not nap for long during the day for me to nap properly.
He said as he did the shift saturday that he should have had a lie in on Sunday and not woken up for the feeds. Just to add, i struggle to fall asleep, always have so i could get into bed at 10 and not fall asleep for a few hours whereas husband is knocked out as soon as his head hits the pillow. I might be unfair having slept on the Sunday but I am just so tired after the week is over, sometimes DS might have a day where he feeds 5 am then is a struggle to put to sleep again. There are days where he is difficult and unsettled during the day and feels like he has been stuck to me the whole day, I try to explain this wears me out but I dont thibk husband fully gets it.
Outsider perspective please, thankyou!
Am I being unreasonable?
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SpongeBob2022 · 04/09/2022 13:52
In general I don't understand the need for lie ins for people not getting up in the night. And I love sleeping!
If he gets 5 full nights of sleep in the week then it's not that much of a hardship to be getting up at weekends...even doing both night feeds if your baby then sleeps in until 8.30 or 9. In my eyes 8.30 is a lie in!
Equally though in normal circumstances if your baby only wakes once in the night and then lays in I think you should be able to cope getting up.
I think the fairest thing overall is to do one each and plan it and stick to it.
I think your insomnia is the issue. Baby sleep wise...yours is an absolute dream. Your DH really doesn't know how lucky he is. But at least you seem to realise this.
My husband has insomnia and when we had a baby I really didn't cope without sleep and bless him he did a lot...probably more than his fair share... despite this. But now our son is a lot older and sleeps until 7 I always let him lie in and as I've had a full night's sleep I always get up.
fellrunner85 · 04/09/2022 14:48
Agree it's not usual to feel so tired after this much sleep.
Are you getting enough exercise in? Back when I didn't do any exercise I didn't sleep well and I was exhausted all the time.
Since I started running regularly I sleep far better and feel much more rested when I wake up (it also helps that I lost a fair amount of weight, so I'm less sweaty and I snore less than I did when I was carrying a few extra stone).
Perhaps you could start doing c25k or similar, and fit it in after the first morning feed, before your DH goes to work? That way you could get your exercise out of the way and get on with your day.
TheOrigRights · 04/09/2022 15:35
I think you need to try and resolve the problem of you not falling asleep for a few hours when you go go bed at 10pm. That's 2 or 3 hours into what could be a decent stretch before the 4/5am wake up.
Have you taken any steps to find the cause or taken steps to fix things?
BernadetteRostankowskiWolowitz · 04/09/2022 16:24
TheOrigRights · 04/09/2022 15:35
I think you need to try and resolve the problem of you not falling asleep for a few hours when you go go bed at 10pm. That's 2 or 3 hours into what could be a decent stretch before the 4/5am wake up.
Have you taken any steps to find the cause or taken steps to fix things?
Maybe if she didn't sleep til 9am she would be ready for bed at 10pm.
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