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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Should I cancel day trip

41 replies

NicholJO · 04/09/2022 10:03

Hi all looking for other people's thoughts I will keep it as short as possible all summer I have been looking after a friend's 8year old DD for 15 hours a week while she goes to work I have 2 DC 8 and 3 the friend as a 27 year old daughter living with her also the daughter as a 6 year old 8 out of 10 times I would end up with both children as the 27 year old is too lazy to look after her own child plus outside of her working hours I would babysit the children for friend to go shopping or meet any Tom dick or Harry I never received a thank you or even a bag of sweets for my DC now my elderly aunt who is 70 and a wonderful person as booked us a day trip to a stately home in 2 weeks this said friend as told me I need to cancel as she as work and I need to look after the children might I add there was never a agreement between us that I would continue babysitter after the summer holidays am I being aibu to tell her to do one thank you for reading there is so much more to this story but I would end up writing a book 🤣

OP posts:
Poppyblush · 04/09/2022 10:06

What a cf! Go in the day trip as you’re clearly being used by this person. Ffs, why inflict this on yourself when she doesnt give you anything in return. Even a bunch of flowers would be nice. Tell her to jog in and get a new babysitter.

Slobberchops1 · 04/09/2022 10:07

She’s taking the piss

Keyansier · 04/09/2022 10:08

You sound so busy you don't even have time for full stops.

If I have understood it correctly, the daughter is taking the absolute piss and your friend is a pushover for not saying anything (and so are you).

KylieCharlene · 04/09/2022 10:08

Do not cancel your day trip.
Under no circumstances.
She's a user and a very selfish, rude person- not a friend. A friend would be telling you to go and have a fabulous time and be offering your DD a treat to spend in the gift shop after all you've done!

Rainbowcat99 · 04/09/2022 10:08

Cheeky cow!! Absolutely don't cancel your trip. Tell her that the free babysitting has finished now and you'll be charging £10 per hour per child in future.

OstrichFeet · 04/09/2022 10:11

Tell her to get fucked
she doesn’t respect or appreciate you at all by the sound of it
have a lovely day out

whiteroseredrose · 04/09/2022 10:12

Obviously you won't cancel. Your friend or her DD will have to take the day off work.

Original poster
NicholJO · 04/09/2022 10:12

Thank you everyone yes she is taking the piss and so is her 27 year old daughter I have probably brought this on myself as I don't like saying no I like helping people but I don't even get a thank you

OP posts:
girlmom21 · 04/09/2022 10:16

Laugh in her face.

moistmingemist · 04/09/2022 10:16

I would send her a message and say that you're not available on the day as you're going on the day trip as it will be a much needed break after the last six weeks!

Sswhinesthebest · 04/09/2022 10:20

You need to say that you helped out for the summer but that she needs to sort out something permanent now. And then don’t offer ever again.
Under no circumstances cancel your day out.

Creepymanonagoatfarm · 04/09/2022 10:20

I would send them both a bloody invoice.

RiftGibbon · 04/09/2022 10:21

"This was a temporary arrangement which no longer works for me. You'll have to sort something else out"

"No"

"I already have an arrangement for that day which cannot be changed."

"That doesn't work for me."

Or any combination. Don't do it. Don't apologise. She'll probably badmouth you, and then drop you when you don't roll over and comply.

BestCatMumEver · 04/09/2022 10:23

But not saying no means people will walk all over you, which is what’s happening.

BitOutOfPractice · 04/09/2022 10:27

@Keyansier in case you weren't aware what an arsehole that makes you look, I'll let you know: you look like an arsehole!

OP just say "no, I won't be doing that." Now can't, won't.

Wakemeuuuup · 04/09/2022 10:27

Go on your day out. Tell her you won't be babysitting any more

BitOutOfPractice · 04/09/2022 10:27

*not can't, won't

Original poster
NicholJO · 04/09/2022 10:33

Thank you i certainly will be going on my day trip my aunt reminded me of all the times in the past 5 years I have been accused by her and her 27 year old of calling social services on them to which I didn't but that's another story and I certainly won't be looking after the children as my son has autism and my nearly 3 year old as saggital craniofacial ( pressure around the brain) so I'm going to grow a back bone x

OP posts:
Zonder · 04/09/2022 10:35

Reply and say summer is over now and time for new arrangements but I'm sure your daughter can look after the child along with her own child.

Hobele · 04/09/2022 10:38

as and has are two different words, it's very confusing to read your post.

But no, you shouldn't cancel the trip or look after other kids if they don't reciprocate/pay for childcare.

AuntieDolly · 04/09/2022 10:45

Did they pay you for childcare?

Original poster
NicholJO · 04/09/2022 10:49

No I didn't get a penny or even a bag of sweets for my little ones

OP posts:
hellywelly3 · 04/09/2022 11:00

To all the people pointing out the grammar and spelling, just stop. You’re being a bully, take a good look at yourself!

@NicholJO unfortunately we all meet people in our lives who will use us to make their lives easier. They don’t value you so that up to you to do. It’s ok to say no when you want to and you don’t have to have a reason.

Festoonlights · 04/09/2022 11:11

Wow op

You are being massively massively taken advantage of!

WTH is this even real? Why are doing months of free childcare with not as much as a thank you??????

dottiedodah · 04/09/2022 11:35

WTAF! They are beyond cheeky.Look in the mirror 3 times and say loudly"No Im Busy " Then practise on her.She is not a friend but a downright CF! Go on your day trip with Auntie and dont give them a second thought.I would be blocking her Im afraid .Another of Lifes takers I feel

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