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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Should I pay for it ?

45 replies

Teachermum02 · 04/09/2022 09:44

Going to try and be as specific and short as possible.

  1. Moved into a house where the garden needed some serious TLC. We didn't have the money to get it professionally done in a short time so took us 10months and a good majority of our disposable income to do it bit by bit. ( I haven't even redecorated inside the house yet)
  2. Our neighbours have been really nice (those on the left and right) it's very much older couple in our street and the adjoining one and they Seemed happy to have us a younger family moving in and understood its alot to re do a house.
  3. My husband is a keen gardener and at the bottom of the garden has found a nice plant bed which was hidden and used it to plant veg.
  4. Not long ago our neighbours at the back (middle aged couple who have never spoken to us) mentioned the fence on their side was beginning to wear and they would like it replaced. This fence is our responsibility. We know this. However it was mentioned that we have bits growing on our side and we would need to wait till that has gone before we replace the fence ( ripping up all the veg and plants is a waste and we were happy to start replacing the fence in the autumn when this was all harvested and when we could afford it)
  5. Yesterday the neighbours begin to build a fence in front of the one they want replaced.
  6. Today as I am clearing and picking some veg and weeding the woman sticks her head over the fence and says my husband has spent money putting this fence up. So we need to know when you are going to be paying for this .

My first reaction:
WTF - a good morning would have been a nice start.
2- she knew when were planning to replace it.
3- now they have built a fence in front of it on their side it is actually going to be harder to take down on our side.
4- a conversation or a heads up would have been nice
5- we are really feeling the pinch even more because of the said bills etc so for her to just demand money is ridiculous. They have obviously budgeted for the fence they have bought.

So how do I proceed here?

1- they never consulted us about putting it up and then demanding money - I feel like saying you put it up you pay for it.
2- find out how much they paid and put X amount towards it - only because we will have to replace the fence on our side anyway. ( but this is when we have the money to do so not right now when money is literally making me panic)

OP posts:
Longdistance · 04/09/2022 10:08

Tell them to get stuffed.

Dougieowner · 04/09/2022 10:15

Don't engage with them.

They knew you were going to replace the fence but decided to install one themselves so that was their decision.
It is not unknown to have double fences as occasionally a neighbour does not like the side they can see so will install a decorative one within their own boundary.

I would still install my own fence (and sooner rather than later) just to show them how silly they were and that you will NOT be contributing to what is definitely "their" fence on "their" property and most definitely NOT a boundary fence.

Booklover3 · 04/09/2022 10:15

No don’t pay towards it. They didn’t listen to you and decided to go ahead. It’s their problem

DoctorManhattan · 04/09/2022 10:16

They have some neck. I imagine they had you pegged from the start as a means of funding a new fence for them, trying to effectively convince you as new neighbours that it was something you owed them.

I don’t like falling out with neighbours any more than the next person but in this scenario I would honestly tell them to do one, and also be a bit angry that they considered me an easy cash cow for their property works. Their new fence, their side, their problem.

ovenproof · 04/09/2022 11:36

part of me thinks they’ve saved you a job, pay some towards it when you can but part of me thinks that they’ve chosen to ignore what you said so leave them to it

I think I agree with this. They've sort of saved you the job.
Reiterate you agreed to do it in Autumn, therefore will pay for the fence in Autumn

Christonabike37 · 04/09/2022 11:39

They've built their own fence on their side of the boundary. It is not the replacement boundary. It's It's property ON their property and has naff all to do with you.

When it's all died down take yours down and you'll have a bigger garden 🤣

Jalepenojello · 04/09/2022 11:43

They’ve put up a fence in their garden. It’s nothing to do with you. You can still feel free to replace the boundary fence but as their fence in in their garden they can’t ask for anything

StoneofDestiny · 04/09/2022 11:50

Not at all! Their decision, their fence, their garden. Nobody can be forced to pay for something that has nothing to do with them! You bend on this nonsense you'll be on your knees with them forever!

C0rnflake · 04/09/2022 11:54

Tell them to do one.

CatherinedeBourgh · 04/09/2022 11:56

You are not required to have a fence, just a boundary.

I would take advantage of the fact that they have put a fence in their garden and replace your fence (when it really needs it, not before) with wires across the poles so you can get some really nice planting done.

Their fence will give you the privacy you would otherwise lose.

Horcruxe · 04/09/2022 12:00

Teachermum02 · 04/09/2022 09:57

My husband is really shy and an introvert so very rarely engages in conversations so it is very very unlikely he had a conversation with a neighbour and not mentioned it to me.

Right well ask your husband then.

And then say no

Mybeautifulfriend22 · 04/09/2022 12:00

They’ve put a fence on their land and they want you to pay for it because they are too impatient to wait til Autumn for you to do the original

. Erm nope you don’t owe them any money. I’m pretty quiet and non confrontational but no way would I pay that the cheeky pair!

bringbackveronicamars · 04/09/2022 12:05

Hilarious.

I wouldn't contribute at all. It's their fence on their land and their decision to install it. Nothing to do with you at all.

Be polite but firm about it, but make it clear you won't be contributing to their fence on their land as it's nothing to do with you. The fact they didn't like your fence is irrelevant.

LindaEllen · 04/09/2022 12:06

Oh wow, this sounds exactly like our neighbour. Except they got so fed up of waiting for us to replace our fence they just did it themselves, put one up we didn't like, and that doesn't even fit the posts so it rattles terribly in the wind.

We had the whole house to renovate, and the rooms inside the house were more our priority to make the place habitable!!

TheRosesAreInBloom · 04/09/2022 12:15

Longdistance · Today 10:08
Tell them to get stuffed

^ this is the perfect and only response you need.

Fundays12 · 04/09/2022 12:45

They need to pay for it themselves.

Creepymanonagoatfarm · 04/09/2022 12:48

Hi ndn after careful consideration we won't be paying for your fence.
And walk away

Ponderingwindow · 04/09/2022 12:52

It’s their fence now. You don’t pay anything.

ClottedCreamAndStrawberries · 04/09/2022 12:58

You definitely don’t owe anything. The key here is that they’ve put it in front of the fence that needs replacing. Therefore it’s on their land. If/when you replace the damaged fence then that’s your financial responsibility but I guess it won’t bother her now she’s got her new fence. Stupid cow.

TheTeddyBears · 04/09/2022 13:10

You say that is not the boundary fence, this one is and I told u we wld in time replace it when we can afford to. Therefore what she's done at her end is her problem. May say it a bit nicer to keep relations lol.

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