If your child was quite 'immature' for their age, did you just go with it?

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My DD has always been quite sensitive and enjoys things which are meant for younger children than herself. She is 7 and still watch's CBeebies, no interest in anything with much of a complex storyline. She reads well but can't focus on chapter books and will choose easy books which she knows well.
This all sounds very critical but I love her and her personality. She is very caring, for babies, animals etc. I also have a 5 year old and they are identical in speech development, adaptability, concentration, executive functioning. I think she could go into year one and be at the right level. She is going into year three on Monday.
I wouldn't let it worry me but she knows. She says other kids talk about stuff she doesn't know and it's clear they're just much older mentally than her. She is treated like their pet (partly due to her tiny size, 95% percentile, 4-5 in clothes, summer born) rather than a peer.
I don't know whether I should try to catch her up, or just go with it? School are aware (obviously as she is behind) and I have mentioned some concerns about mild LD but they want to push for autism dx which doesn't fit for her at all for me. Would love to hear from others who've experienced the same.
In some ways it's lovely, I get a beautiful, pure at heart, honest, sensitive child for longer. But I want her to be happy too

Let them do their SEN assessments. She won't get diagnosed with something she hasn't got and in the meantime it may help identify ways of helping her settle in with the others better.

Yes my son was a very slow developer in many ways, he took forever to learn his colours for example. He had speech therapy as he wasn't communicating well at nursery. He was still playing with his toy cars well into his teens! We just let him be.

He is now 18 and about to start University. He is a lovely, polite, hardworking young man who achieved mainly A's in his exams.

OP she seems happy and in a loving family. If she is behind at school, I would slowly but surely start addressing this but with no pressure at all. Her friendship group sounds kind - I know what you mean by her being treated a bit like a pet, but we all had friends in our group who for some reason or the other we were more protective about and it doesn’t mean they weren’t equal friends. Just that we worried about them more but they certainly had a place in the group and were cherished for their personality and who they were. This group of friends sounds similar. I would very gently follow the advice of the school and see what comes out of the different tests etc. Information is power. You can then decide what way forward is best for your little girl, where she needs extra support, etc.

Your daughter sounds lovely. My DS was like this in many ways when he was younger and he is now on the autism pathway for assessment. I think he rereads book for comfort, but also because he has some processing issues - which were not picked up on at school - and it is just so much easier for him to relax with something he is familiar with. I wouldn't put your DD under any pressure, but just keep giving her the opportunities that I am sure you are already doing. If school are offering to put her forward for assessment, definitely say yes! It may take two years wait before you get the assessment, and you may find it helpful to have the results before she goes to secondary school. Or it may show up nothing - but you have lost nothing by getting yourselves on the waitlist.

The kid may be a late developer or frankly just behind for her age. The main thing is she is happy and making progress. The worse thing you can do is put pressure on. Watching Cbbs at 7 is not the end. I know kids who watch it at 10!

Thank you all, this is very reassuring. I don't care if she isn't academic, I just want her to be happy.

My dd was like this. Young for her age, sensitive etc. Was always in "nurture groups" at primary school (she's 17 now) although she was very academically able. Turns out she was asd, it wasn't until secondary school that the wheels truly fell off, which is often the case with asd girls, who present very differently to boys. Her primary school never once suggested assessment, so if your dd's is, go with it. It's not to assume your daughter will be diagnosed but have an open mind about it. If she is, there should be more help for her, so it's a good thing.

She sounds lovely.
Let them do their tests just in case but some kids are just like that.

Sounds like my DD, now 18, who is now doing animal care at college. Turns out she has dyslexia & dyspraxia & slow processing. I don't think you can push them to be more mature in interests, they go at their own pace.

What I would do is get her in to some mixed age clubs where she can mix with younger children and do things 'at her level' more naturally. Our local Wildlife Trust run weekend meets which might suit, and some zoos have clubs too. Something for 'her' away from more able sister.

And if tests don't show anything yet then they may when older, things get more marked as they age.

Is she in Rainbows/Brownies that could really suit her too.

Where would you even start with making someone catch up on their maturity?! I can't think what you'd do, except try to force her to like things she doesn't like. And that seems wrong. Let her be her.

My eldest is the same in many ways (he has mild LDs but no DX yet), he just seems a lot younger than a lot of his peers - luckily he's found a small group of kids who are similar to him. Sometimes though he lies about stuff and tries to show off to cover up what he sees as his inadequacies. I just try to focus on what he loves and what he's gettiing better at.

Where we live there's a 2 year wait for ASD assessment so I'd strongly suggest getting into the process. In two years' time you may have a better idea of whether she's autistic or not, but you'll kick yourself if there's a possibility of it and you didn't get on the waiting list. Two years is a LONG time.

Just to say, my DS has joined some clubs in the age group below (not obvious to him as he's also short stature) and it's been good for his confidence as he can feel like a more grown up / able person there.

Sounds exactly like my daughter who was diagnosed with Asperger's at age 7

She is affectionate, soft natured, kind & lovely. Read the same book over & over for comfort:

She needed extra time
She just got 5 A grades in highers & is applying to oxbridgr this year.

Autism manifests differently in girls.
Send her for sen tests
Xx

My 8 year old is often told she’s very young for her age but I personally think that other 8 year olds are too grown up and we’ve lost sight on what they’re supposed to be like. My daughters friends dress like their older sisters, wear makeup, have iPhones and just want to watch tik tok videos etc. mine still watches CBeebies and wants to wear flowery dresses. She does play computer games, Minecraft etc and she’s academically quite ahead at school so I’m not worried at all. It just upsets me that she feels the odd one out but I’m not encouraging her to grow up too quickly.

Thank you all so much. I will keep her on the 29 month waiting list for autism but I'm worried that we'll miss something in the meantime like ADHD or similar. She is very dreamy and can't concentrate. The school and I disagree on why this is. School think its sensory related. I do see this (she won't read if I'm eating or drinking at the same time as listening or if there is any background noise).

Nothing stopping you pursuing an ADHD diagnosis at the same time too, she might fit an inattentive subtype.

@Meatshake school said you can't be on both lists which I think is incorrect. I know if I go to the GP they'll roll their eyes as it's a v popular diagnosis right now!

Agree with letting them do the assessment. Like PP said, they won't diagnose her with something she doesn't have. My DS is 9YO and autistic. He is very much still in mainstream education. He just has some extra support in the areas he needs it (mainly maths). There is a stereotype of autistic people having no emotions, but I think the opposite is true of DS. He has lots of emotions, just doesn't know what to do with them. He is really grown up with somethings but then still loves his teddies. He is very caring towards animals and younger children. He is physically one of the biggest in his class and his appearance of an older child sometimes jars with how young and vulnerable he can be for his age.

This is wrong. My DS was assessed for autism and ADHD at the same time.

DS is 9 and very immature. He still plays with his toys as though they are real with their own personalities, loves make believe games, isn't keeping up in school and would much rather play with the girls than the boys. Doesn't like football and is gentle and cuddly. Still wants to come and sleep in our bed at night. Also summer born but early summer. However he is streets ahead of his peers at swimming and is happy and sociable. Not too worried yet as I like the innocence of childhood continuing. Only child.

Depending on your area, you may not even be on an ASD waiting list. In our NHS trust you first see a community paediatrician who triages and puts you in the right pathway. So they would consider ASD, ADHD, LD etc.

My DS was diagnosed with ASD, then spLD, then ADHD. It took ages, but definitely worth it to get to where he is now with the right support in place at school.

One thing I would suggest is that you get her assessed for an EHCP by making a needs assessment request. If she is about 2 years behind academically and you're not sure about her progress then it's best to get the ball rolling sooner rather than later.

My 8 year old is like this. Lost in a world of my little pony and sylvanian families....fairies unicorns etc.

Is identical in many ways to her 6 yr old cousin and plays happily with younger children.

I think it is thr false world of school that puts children in boxes of age groups that is the problem not our children.

My daughter is autistic
I have to say its unusual for school to highlight autism concerns in high functioning girls so i would consider they might be right

That's bollocks, my almost 6 year old is (similar sounding to yours) and awaiting a almost 100% sure ADHD diagnosis and a precautionary ASD one. The wait lists are 2 and 3 years respectively.

Similar here. DS has been referred, it's not even called an autism assessment, and the form we filled in was clearly asking questions that could indicate ADHD as well as ASD.