So embarrassed of my so called weird mannerisms

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I think it started at school when some people would joke that I looked worried or frightened even when I didn't feel it. A teacher would make jokes about it in front of the entire class, and I was a year 7 new to the school.
I just can't control my face. It's like when some people say 'don't look so frightened!' which is well-meaning but sometimes you aren't.
I have some problems with my eyes and I have no idea how to get rid of them (not the eyes) but it basically makes my eyes blink heavily a lot, flicker, squint like I'm winking etc. And I have no control over it.
Some of it is from looking at my phone too much I think, but it makes me so self conscious all the time.
It's sometimes worse when I'm tired too.
I was dating someone for a couple of months and he said that I always pulled this particular face and did an impression. Then when I got a bit upset he said I was being too sensitive.
I've had times when people would say 'ha!! Your face!!/that face you just pulled!' and I'll have no idea what they're talking about as I didn't do it deliberately. Then they'd say stuff like I nodded too much or shook my head too much when I spoke.
I remember being about 15 and being upset that I hadn't yet had a boyfriend (at that age) and for some reason a friend said, "Well you have so many problems it's no wonder."
Then she quickly backtracked.
I'm in teaching and I sometimes see kids whisper and then look at me and laugh, which I know is what kids do but it also makes me a bit paranoid. I have had some do impressions of me.

I just feel self conscious a lot. Sometimes I will forget about it but then other times I just feel that everyone can see these 'issues' but most people are polite enough not to comment on it. I got called 'weird' a few times at school. My partner has never said anything or made fun of me, but sometimes I worry that people just accept it as a part of me.
I feel embarrassed and ashamed. No idea what I can do about these things. I've tried talking to myself in a mirror but I can't see anything.

I also touch my hair and face a lot but don't even realise.

Do you think it’s like a tick? I have something similar that I do with my face but I’ve trained myself not to do it in public. I do it at home when no one’s around. It is weird!

Hi OP it sounds like a tic, they're really common. I'm sure there's a neurological service that can help with them using some CBT based interventions. Have you gone to your GP?
Sorry people have been cruel in the past, kids especially can be really awful.

It may be. Is that a sign of Tourettes?
I do think some of it is screen time but most people are glued to their phones these days and don't seem to have it.

I haven't been to my GP, I'm too embarrassed but I do need to go.
My eyes always feel very 'strained' as well.
I remember going to a high school, giving a presentation and some girls whispered 'why is she so weird?'

Could you film yourself on your phone maybe to see what expressions your face is making first. Then you can refilm to see if you can modify them even slightly by reading the same passage but concentrating on your face this time.

Aargh. Sorry accidentally left out some words.
Could you film yourself reading a short passage

It sounds like tics.
Video yourself and ask for help to manage them.
💐💐

Do you have your eyes tested regularly, OP? Perhaps your vision problems need looking at and correcting, and then your face would be less tense from straining.

In your shoes I would be seeing an optician and a gp - not because of the way other people act, that just makes them arseholes - but because you have vision issues and neurological symptoms which warrant assessing in case they need addressing. If, as a side effect, you are less perceived as making faces, that will be an added benefit - but I’d be thinking of it from a health point of view first and foremost.

i second those who suggest tics of some kind and a visit to the GP for starters. Also, since you mention your eyes quite a bit, what is your eyesight like? Has it been tested recently? Do you need glasses (or different ones if you already wear them)?

Ah - a bit of a cross post!

My eyesight seems pretty good itself but I will book an eye test as it's definitely worth checking.
I'll speak to the GP, though it'll likely be a phone appointment

www.neupulse.co.uk/stay-updated/

If anyone is diagnosed or interested in how to manage tics/ tourettes, my friend has sent me this link to a trial.

Could have written it myself OP.

I always used to get told I looked confused and I also have a motor tic where I blink a lot and sometimes scrunch up other parts of my face. I was also a teacher!

For me, I was in denial about it for a long time and made lots of excuses when people brought it up (which I now realise was completely inappropriate of them to do so) such as my contact lenses were uncomfortable or I had something in my eye.

I’m nearly 30 now and I recognise it now as a tic disorder (not Tourette’s, the diagnostic threshold is very different). My older brother has something similar although it is not as pronounced as it is for me.

I know it’s hard but in my experience the best thing you can do is learn not to care about it that much. Thinking and worrying about it makes it worse! I’m actually writing this realising I haven’t had a “bad” tic day for at least a week although I’m thinking about it now so today will probably not be great! Self acceptance is tough but you can get there even if you need a little help.

With dating, the person you were seeing sounds incredibly insensitive and rude! People do like to point it out as if you had no idea 🙄🙄. Don’t waste your time on people like him OP, I am engaged to a wonderful man who accepts me, “mannerisms” and all, calls people out if they are rude about it and it is genuinely a complete non issue in our relationship.