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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Aibu to give the cats back

102 replies

Missingboi · 03/09/2022 23:21

So recently I decided to Foster cats. I love them and after recently losing my own beloved boy I thought it would be a nice thing to do. I was matched with a pair of siblings and was looking forward to starting the process.

First day was rough.. Second day was fine. The cats came up to me and I was finally able to pet them BUT amongst petting them I looked down to find a hand full of flea dirt. So I inspected the cats further to find fleas and flea dirt all over them. Since being with them I've been bitten 3 times. I messaged the main lady of the cat sanctuary and she simply told me they have been treated and to brush them.

I'm freaking out as I had a flea Infestation before and we never got it sorted and had to move. I was suffering with crazy amounts of bites and still have some of the scarring today. I have a baby and I don't want my baby bitten to a pulp. We also have complete carpeting and another cat that is ours. If it spreads it will become a night mare.

I'm so sad this has happened. The cats have settled after such a rough life and finally look happy and at peace. It's my first Foster and it's gone so wrong but I can literally see the fleas crawling on them. What do I do? If i ask the lady to take the cats back I doubt ill have a good reputation or be able to Foster again and that will cut my journey short. I want to do this and I don't want to upset the cats that have come here but I need to think of my family first

OP posts:
Original poster
Missingboi · 03/09/2022 23:59

@purpleme12 i do want to try but I also have ptsd (no joke) from literally having to leave a house because all the indorex and hot washes didn't work. It was that or flea bomb but we chose not to as it was a rented apartment. I don't want another repeat. Its horrific to get on top of and control a flea infestation once it spreads.

OP posts:
ofwarren · 03/09/2022 23:59

We used front line which didn't work. Rang the vets who prescribed bravecto and we didn't have to wait a month. That and indorex the house. I don't know why you think you can't indorex with the cats there. Just do a room a day and keep them out of that room for 24 hours.
We got rid of a bad infestation in 2 days with bravecto and indorex.

LolaButt · 04/09/2022 00:00

You don’t need anyones validation. Give them straight back. It’s unacceptable for them to be sent to you in that state.

Honestly. You’ve got a baby and you don’t need the stress and paranoia that comes with this issue that will take time to sort. The amount of flea dirt in that picture is insane.

Put a flea collar in your hoover too so that they don’t contaminate that too.

mxcaq · 04/09/2022 00:00

I'd give them back, you don't seem in a good place to be able to care for these cats.

Original poster
Missingboi · 04/09/2022 00:03

@Tierne not really. My cat is an indoor cat and we do not have a flea problem. I expected the cats when given to me to not be infested with fleas. The house is my parents and so is the cat. The cat gets seriously ill with flea bites because of reactions.

OP posts:
Original poster
Missingboi · 04/09/2022 00:04

@ofwarren i was told these cats cant mix with my cat so I have to keep them in the spare room. Meaning I can't move them around my house

OP posts:
ofwarren · 04/09/2022 00:05

Missingboi · 04/09/2022 00:04

@ofwarren i was told these cats cant mix with my cat so I have to keep them in the spare room. Meaning I can't move them around my house

I honestly don't understand why you agreed to Foster them then.

Original poster
Missingboi · 04/09/2022 00:05

@mxcaq i am thank you I just wasn't expecting this. Shall I show you the fleas crawling on this poor cat to make you see how bad it is. Its like the cat was a stray (she was not)

OP posts:
Tierne · 04/09/2022 00:05

So you're a cat fosterer despite not having your own place?

Original poster
Missingboi · 04/09/2022 00:06

@ofwarren because I didn't know that! The lady only told me after that these cats have to be kept in a room. I thought it was odd and cruel to keep them locked in one room but obviously a room is better than a pen. This is the ladies wishes not mine. She is okay with them being in a room

OP posts:
Original poster
Missingboi · 04/09/2022 00:06

@Tierne yes....i live with a parent they know this.

OP posts:
Tierne · 04/09/2022 00:07

WTF? You are meant to keep these two cats in one room? Forever? What was her reasoning for this?

Original poster
Missingboi · 04/09/2022 00:08

@Tierne not forever just until they have a home. She said they can't mix with other cats. She also said she doesn't want them mixing with my child because they are nervous and older

OP posts:
Original poster
Missingboi · 04/09/2022 00:09

I don't quite understand myself why she matched me with them. I thought the cat had to be suited to the living arrangement and that's why I did a form to tell them about my other cat and baby

OP posts:
Selttan · 04/09/2022 00:12

The rescue I adopted my girls from keeps the fosters separate from her own cats. It's pretty standard.

It sounds like these cats are stressed by other cats which would be why they are to always be separate and not eventually integrated.

As others have mentioned I'd contact the vet to find about the flea treatment.

Tierne · 04/09/2022 00:14

@Missingboi
Listen I wanted to apologise to you. Ive just realised you clearly stated you were fostering but my brain read it as you had adopted them. I got the wrong end of the stick and jumped down your throat. I'm sorry.

MidnightMeltdown · 04/09/2022 00:20

In all honesty, I think it's too late. Fleas don't live on the cat, they live in the carpet and soft furnishings. Now that the fleas are in the house it's not going to make a difference whether the cats are there or not.

I imagine that the flea treatment may take a few days to work, so if they've only just had it, so I'm guessing that's why there are fleas.

purpleme12 · 04/09/2022 00:22

I actually don't think you're right for fostering either

Original poster
Missingboi · 04/09/2022 00:29

@MidnightMeltdown they were given flea treatment a week ago I think

OP posts:
Original poster
Missingboi · 04/09/2022 00:38

@purpleme12 well that was for the sanctuary to make their mind up when I sent the application. I didn't lie. They knew about my living circumstance, other cat and baby. Yet they decided I was fine and gave me two cats.

OP posts:
MidnightMeltdown · 04/09/2022 00:39

If they were treated a week ago then the fleas should be dead.

My cat had fleas when I first got him, despite the fact that he'd never been outside.

After giving him the spot on, I got a fine tooth flea comb and a cup of hot water with flea shampoo in it. I combed his fur while intermittently dipping the comb in the cup. I also sprayed the carpets with indorex.
I've never had a flea problem since.

purpleme12 · 04/09/2022 00:41

It wasn't really that I was referring to. You could still do this but it would take effort (and not panicking and immediately shutting down really as well). The fact that it's not your house, you have another cat and a baby doesn't mean you can't foster.

Itstrueiagree · 04/09/2022 00:43

Yes I'd give them back. They should've checked them before giving them to you for fostering. That's awful. I wouldn't worry about whether they will let you foster again, they are always needing fostered for cats so I'm sure they won't turn you down in the future. It was their responsibility to check them and tbh they would be lucky for you to foster for them again.

Original poster
Missingboi · 04/09/2022 00:49

@Itstrueiagree thats what I'm getting at here. I would of assumed the cats wouldn't be handed over in such a state and the fact that no one seems to know about it suggest these cats aren't checked properly enough in the pen's despite people tending to them everyday!

@purpleme12 I know mentally I'm not in a good place right now and fostering was meant to be a silver lining for me. But having this happen literally the very first time I Foster on the second day has deflated me because it will effect everyone so badly if I don't get it under control and I didn't expect to be met with an issue so quickly. As I stated I assumed they would of been checked for simple things such as fleas before given to a home to infest it.

OP posts:
Potato28 · 04/09/2022 00:50

Ask what treatment they had and the exact date and then talk to a vet

For your carpets, Hoover well and then put table salt down, literally cover ur carpets and leave down for afew weeks / Redo when hoovered, Its kills the fleas near enough straight away and will kill any eggs too

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