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AIBU?

To not want to feel pitied?

8 replies

frostedlilachair · 03/09/2022 12:59

I can feel my friend heavily pities me. She once was a bit tipsy and says she talks about me with her boyfriend and that I hold myself back from life.

Which would be fine if I was constantly complaining about having my own pity party. But I don’t.

This all stems from me being single.

OP posts:

Am I being unreasonable?

7 votes. Final results.

POLL
You are being unreasonable
14%
You are NOT being unreasonable
86%
LimeTwists · 03/09/2022 13:08

Tell her you are surprised that she thinks you hold back from life as you are feeling very happy and fulfilled and she really has nothing to share concerns about with her boyfriend.

Holding back how, exactly?

sammylady37 · 03/09/2022 13:09

Some people cannot accept that others can be perfectly happy single, and they assume all singletons are unhappy and desperately want to meet someone. It shows a peculiar mix of arrogance and ignorance to think that way, IMO. The people I pity are the ones who cannot be content on their own and who go from one bad relationship to another because they view any relationship as better than no relationship. That’s truly pitiful.

Freddiefox · 03/09/2022 13:10

I have similar, I told her not to pity me, I love my life abs so t have one friend whose relationship I envied.

Freddiefox · 03/09/2022 13:10

And I don’t

frostedlilachair · 03/09/2022 13:17

Thank you. I don’t know I just feel insulted by it.

Then when she found out I had a date planned she said I shouldn’t go. But then I’m holding myself back?

In the last year I’ve moved to a better house, got a much better job with prospects and I’m going to Australia for a month. But that all means nothing I guess.

OP posts:
mbosnz · 03/09/2022 13:50

We have a friend that as far as we know, has never had a 'romantic' for want of a better word, relationship. She is clearly very happy in her life, great family, great friends, lovely cats, everything she wants in her life. And we are happy for her (sometimes I'm bloody jealous!), and would never be so disrespectful or patronising as to 'dis' ' her chosen lifestyle, to query it, or be nosey about it.

Zippedydoo123 · 03/09/2022 14:10

People like that really pee me off. I had a 'friend's like that but luckily we don't bump into each other any longer. Such a relief.

Ihadenough22 · 03/09/2022 14:21

I am single. I can do what I want and can suit myself. I am not worried about a boyfriend and trying to work my life around theirs. I don't have children either.
I have seen woman who once they get a boyfriend dump their friends but suddenly find the same friends when they realise the boyfriend is bad, cheating on them ect.
I know woman who go from one so called relationship to another because any man is better than been single. I also know woman who have kids with men and the man does as little as possible to help with house work, kids ect so in effect she has a kid/kids and a man child also.

People need to realise that their is nothing wrong with being single. I know woman who want to meet a man, buy a house, get married and have kids. The man they meet don't want this but are happy to have her their as a girlfriend for years. I know 2 woman who told their boyfriends to grow up before they ended things with him because he did not want to get married or have kid's. These women are now married with kids to men who are happy to do housework, mind the kids ect because they are adult men not a man child.

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