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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

That they should have called an ambulance?

46 replies

ThisIsMyHappyFacee · 03/09/2022 08:43

I'm abroad, elderly mother, 83, has had a fall. She lives alone, insistent on independent living despite us talking to her about situations like like this! She's fallen in the bathroom but managed to get to the living room to call my brother but she can not get up off the floor. She's on blood thinning meds and is bleeding from the head, not sure how much. She's conscious. However my brother lives an hours drive from her and is going to her now but will not call an ambulance as they won't be able to get in anyway he said and Mum will not go in an ambulance anyway. AIBU to think an ambulance should have been called?? Anything could happen in an hour! I'm worried sick :(

OP posts:
Applebark · 03/09/2022 08:44

He would have got there quicker than the ambulance.

ZealAndArdour · 03/09/2022 08:45

Yes, a head injury on blood thinners meets NICE guidance for a CT scan of the head. Maybe you can convince him to call once he arrives?

Coulddowithanap · 03/09/2022 08:45

Can a neighbour or friend be called to go and check on her?

girlmom21 · 03/09/2022 08:45

She needs an ambulance.

Darkness22 · 03/09/2022 08:46

Ambulances in these instances are always in the press for taking 8 plus hours. Have you a neighbour's number for the future?

WhoWants2Know · 03/09/2022 08:46

She also needs Lifeline putting in and a key safe outside her front door.

raindon · 03/09/2022 08:47

As shocking as it is, it would be quicker for your brother to get there and take her to hospital if needed than an ambulance

SoupDragon · 03/09/2022 08:47

can you get a key safe installed so that people can get in in an emergency?

SeeSeaC · 03/09/2022 08:48

Call a neighbour and get them to call an ambulance
They will prioritise her because of her age

Notjusta · 03/09/2022 08:50

I agree with PP, I wouldn't bother with an ambulance as I suspect she will wait at least an hour for one in these circumstances. However she does need to go to A&E, so your brother should take her ASAP. She also needs a falls assessment which she may get referred for via A&E.

RuthW · 03/09/2022 08:52

SeeSeaC · 03/09/2022 08:48

Call a neighbour and get them to call an ambulance
They will prioritise her because of her age

Yes she needs and ambulance and yes they will prioritise but that will mean 6 hours at least. This was my mother recently.

Original poster
ThisIsMyHappyFacee · 03/09/2022 08:52

Yes I did think he would be quicker although she is in London near major hospitals. A key safe is definitely on the cards! She lives in a block of flats and doesn't have anything to do with her neighbours and refused a Telecare type of assistance but we will insist on it after this morning! I do hope she'll be OK, he should be there soon

OP posts:
shiningstar2 · 03/09/2022 08:53

She could have broken something and needs checking over by a medic. She shouldn't be moved around much so not really a good idea for brother to take her to a and e. Best shed checked by a medic. In her own home. I know this might take hours but she could be left on a trolley for hours in a and e.

adamanti · 03/09/2022 08:54

My mum dialled 999 for a neighbour complaining of severe chest pain. He died 9 hours later. She rang and cancelled. 2 days later a blue light screamed up to her house for the chest pain patient. She explained that he had died on her kitchen floor in the 9th hour of waiting (she is old herself and completely rural.and alone except.for him) and they shouted at her for not cancelling and that someone would have died due to her time-wasting. Sad she was abused and is now all alone since the NHS killed her 42 year old support person. Post mortem ruled that treatment within 2 hours followed by CABG would have been highly likely to have prevented the death. Don't bother with the NHS if you can afford to use private for her.

Original poster
ThisIsMyHappyFacee · 03/09/2022 08:55

Wow. Such a sad and depressing state of affairs

OP posts:
raindon · 03/09/2022 08:55

@adamanti That is awful, I'm so sorry your mum had to go through that. Did she make a complaint?

HeddaGarbled · 03/09/2022 08:59

Up to 12 hours wait for an ambulance we were told 2 weeks ago when my mum (aged 92) fell at home. Much better for your brother to go and assess the situation.

Sunnysideup999 · 03/09/2022 08:59

There’s not really such a thing as ambulances anymore sadly.
it’s best if someone else takes her to a and e .

SeeSeaC · 03/09/2022 09:01

RuthW · 03/09/2022 08:52

Yes she needs and ambulance and yes they will prioritise but that will mean 6 hours at least. This was my mother recently.

Show quote history

So sorry to here that , it was 15 minutes here a few weeks ago and we are stretched

HeddaGarbled · 03/09/2022 09:02

Also if I was doing an emergency dash to my mum, I’d be pretty pissed off if a relative abroad criticised the way I was handling it.

Original poster
ThisIsMyHappyFacee · 03/09/2022 09:02

Ok thank you all, it's given me some perspective and clarification that I would be unreasonable to attack him for his decision to go and assess her himself. I'm just panicking and can be irrational plus feel helpless as I'm not there

OP posts:
Lindy2 · 03/09/2022 09:02

Assuming no broken bones, a good way to help someone get up from the floor is to place a sturdy dining chair next to them. The chair gives a support that they can use to pull themselves up. It's a lot easier than physically trying to lift someone.

I hope your brother gers there soon and your mum gets the treatment she needs.

OldTinHat · 03/09/2022 09:03

Definitely quicker for your brother to take her. An elderly neighbour near me fell at home, fractured her skull, managed to use her alarm to call for help. Fell unconscious and was found by her daughter in law six hours later.

5zeds · 03/09/2022 09:05

They should call AND go.

Silverbirch2 · 03/09/2022 09:09

My dh nan fell and was bleeding from face also on blood thinners. Neighbours rang 999 they said they would try to gey to her that day... it was 7:30am. Family drove to her, moved her and took her to hospital. She sat in a&e for almost 48 hrs but she was triagaged and at least in the right place if anything further happened. Its terrible the poor NHS.

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