To want DH to get up with kids and make breakfast

[Wiseawaake]

After I’ve been up ALL NIGHT with his snoring

You need wax earplugs, doesn't block out the noise completely but best thing I've found. Snoring is the worst noise in the world!!

It is terrible, but I can’t really go down the earplug route in case I don’t hear a child calling or crying. (I also hate them.)

Your DH can hear the children crying though? If he's the reason you need earplugs then make it his job to listen out for them. I hate selfish snorers who don't realise the impact they have on other people. He should be offering to get up and get them sorted while you have a snooze.

Yanbu, the person who had least sleep in the night gets the lie in in our house.

He’s never woken up to them - I do think it’s genuine insofar as he does stay asleep while I have that finely tuned response but regardless I don’t want them wailing for ages and being ignored.

His snoring was awful last night, every time I closed my eyes a huge rasping snore woke me.

I wear earplugs as my husband also snores and I can still hear the kids crying. The earplugs don’t completely block his snoring but they really help, and I guess that’s also why I can hear the kids when they cry.

If you’re worried you won’t hear them wake up or cry, you could buy baby monitors which beep when they cry. The BT ones (audio, not video) do that when they’re on silent, they beep to alert you they’re crying.

I’ve always slept with earplugs since the kids were babies. You still hear them!

This would drive me mad OP! Do you have a spare room that you could sleep in?

How old are the children? I bet he’d wake up if he knew he had to

Believe me, if I can hear the children through ear plugs I’ll definitely be able to hear the snoring. Plus, I am not a massive fan of things in my ears.

@Catch21 normally I would retreat to the spare room but he’s so bloody loud I am still woken sometimes, and we’re waiting on a new bed.

Has he seen a doctor about it? Does he need to lose weight? My husbands snoring improved so much when he lost weight. Before that I'd threatened to move out as it was really that bad it was unliveable with.

Honestly, make the spare room your room.

Sleep is so important.

Have you told him he snores? Recorded it so he understands the scale of the problem?

I'd dig him in the ribs, tell him he's kept you awake all night, play him the recording so he can't deny it and then say you'd like a cup of tea and two childfree hours to catch up.

And then later, I'd talk to him about why he snores. Is he overweight? Time to lose a few stone? Go to his GP?

OP, I have not rtft, only your posts. I am shocked at the responses you have had on here.

So you are at home with an SEN child who has only recently walked to school alone at 15, plus another child. Your husband is out 12 hours per day yet, despite this, does not financially provide for his family??! Only 40%?

WTF! You are carrying this man like a dead weight. What is the actual point of him?

The deal is, if he wants a SAHM so he can focus better in his business (without you know, daily life skills like housework, cooking, the fact you have 2 children) - then the least he does is financially provide fir that family.

He sounds like an indulged child. So his shop is open 1pm to 12am - so what? Loads of people go to bed at 1am and get up for 8am.

I literally don't know how you have coped for so long. I'm sorry you have encountered the anti-SAHM agents of MN too. Those accusing you of doing adult work should be ashamed.

Nevertheless - at the moment, you are facilitating him and he is not facilitating you. He does nothing for your family apart from the bins and 40% of your income. This is beyond ridiculous.