Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

Original poster

to expect a present from work?

25 replies

ElvisLeftTheBuilding · 03/09/2022 00:52

I have just left my job, after eight years working at the same place.
On my last day I left empty handed - no present, not even a card. Everyone who has left during my time there has had a leaving present and card, I have always signed cards and contributed to collections. Yet no one thought to arrange something for me.
I get on well with everyone so there's no personal issues.
AIBU to be hurt by this? It has really hurt my feelings.

OP posts:

Mosaic123 · 03/09/2022 00:58

Yes you should be upset as it's really not kind, or fair, of them.

I wish you lots of luck in your new role and hope you have kind friendly colleagues.

MrsTerryPratchett · 03/09/2022 00:59

If it's any consolation one of the loveliest people left my work recently and it was a bit of a shoddy show. Everyone thought someone else was doing it and then there was annual leave which buggered it up.

I love him and miss him terribly.

QueenBodicea · 03/09/2022 00:59

I would be hurt by that too. Do you think it's because a lot of your colleagues are working from home these days? I.e.harder to get everyone to sign, contribute etc. Not an excuse though. Sounds as though someone forgot to organise it.

Antarcticant · 03/09/2022 01:00

YANBU. Over my long working history, I've seen people leave in all sorts of circumstances, including 'under a cloud' (not saying this is you) and there's always been some token effort made to, at the very least, wish the person the best for the future, even if sentiments such as 'sorry you are leaving' are not appropriate.

mycatisannoying · 03/09/2022 01:03

YANBU

ChellyT · 03/09/2022 01:09

I'm sorry this happen to you and that you feel deflated. It's shit!

I agree with a lot of the others... were you the organiser of such farewells, did everyone think someone else was going to do it, WFH has made a lot of work relationships disjointed... either way you are still the one left feeling shit!

Good luck with your future adventures 🌺

Pudmyboy · 03/09/2022 01:16

YANBU, so sorry this has happened to you, I can understand your hurt feelings and just hope your former colleagues are hanging their heads in shame. I hope your new role brings you joy 💐

Original poster

ElvisLeftTheBuilding · 03/09/2022 01:29

Yes, generally I have been the person often who organises this for others, I'm sure that's played a part.
Our office is about half in and half at home so that's not a reason. I've managed to arrange several cards and gifts online over the past couple years too, with people emailing messages to add and so on.
Thanks for the lovely comments! I've been getting sadder and sadder about this all evening and you're making me feel better already.

OP posts:

ChellyT · 03/09/2022 02:21

I wished I lived near by to take you out for a bottle or two! I'm pretty sure I don't as I'm in Sydney Aust but if we do, hit me up and we can hit the town 🍾💃

sandgrown · 03/09/2022 02:37

Same thing happened to me. I worked somewhere for 6 years and gave to lots of collections. My move to another department was delayed by two weeks so I had no actual team leader when I left . As was tradition I bought sweets for the office and when I took them round people commented they did not know I was leaving. I waited patiently for my card, present and goodbye speech and was really sad and disappointed when nothing happened. One close friend bought me a gift from her and apologised thst she hadn’t organised an office collection but it really hurt at the time .

Igmum · 03/09/2022 02:55

That's grim Elvis and Sand, so sorry to hear this. Yes, suspect a combination of it is you that organises this plus the summer holidays have resulted in this but it's still not nice. Sending virtual hugs

funzeny · 03/09/2022 03:11

It's harder to organise a suitable bye to someone worth more than a card.

Rainbowqueeen · 03/09/2022 03:17

Commiserations OP. That’s shit behaviour.
Id say it was definitely a balls up by someone, not that this will make you feel any better.

Your feelings are completely valid and normal.

shandon14 · 03/09/2022 03:44

Just one of those things OP. It happened to me too - 3 years at a small company where there was a habit of proper goodbyes I often played a key role in and on my last day I just walked out the door at home time. Not too long after had a lovely leaving party and gift at a place I was at for just a few months. I'm sure there are a few people at your old company feeling a bit rotten that they didn't make the effort. Shame on them and all credit to you for being a thoughtful person.

Toddlerteaplease · 03/09/2022 03:52

Are you having a leaving do? Are they going to give it then.

StClare101 · 03/09/2022 05:45

Very thoughtless on their part and probably some assumptions from a few people that someone else would do it. Onwards and upwards for you new role.

SpiderinaWingMirror · 03/09/2022 05:52

Yanbu. I worked in the same company for 13 years.
The Head of Department couldn't drag her arse up the stairs to say goodbye and my immediate boss told everyone I didnt want a leaving presentation.
May they merrily rot in corporate hell.

Wonderwoman333 · 03/09/2022 06:28

I know how you feel, I left my job after over 13 years. I thought I got on well with colleagues, I received nothing, not even a card. I had also contributed to loads of other leavers, birthdays etc. It hurts and still does.

I wish you well with your new job and hope you get some lovely new colleagues.

GretaVanFleet · 03/09/2022 06:28

I’m not sure what I would do, I’m torn. I would have naively bought a thank you card so I would either send that in still saying thanks for showing me that I’ve made the right decision leaving as they’ve demonstrated by the lack of even a card how valued I was…or I’d just have my grumble on here and move on. Eight years is a significant amount of time you’re right to feel upset. All the best for your new job.

isthismylifenow · 03/09/2022 06:35

One thing that I have learned lately is to never expect anything, otherwise you just end up disappointed.

Times have changed and unfortunately this sort of thing now very often overlooked.

Sorry you feel hurt though and good luck in your new position.

Musti · 03/09/2022 06:35

That’s bad op. My guess is that you were the instigator and it is summer holidays.

Original poster

ElvisLeftTheBuilding · 03/09/2022 11:37

I did have leaving drinks the day before because that was the day most people were in the office. But when no card materialised then I thought that's ok they will give it to me in the office on my actual last day, and then, nothing
I guess it just tells me I have made the right choice to leave!

OP posts:

Original poster

ElvisLeftTheBuilding · 03/09/2022 11:38

@ChellyT I'm a long way from you but actually have a trip to Australia coming up next March, my first time there! I'm so looking forward to that!

OP posts:

balalake · 03/09/2022 11:47

You owe former work colleagues nothing. Hope your new job goes well.

ChellyT · 04/09/2022 00:35

ElvisLeftTheBuilding · 03/09/2022 11:38

@ChellyT I'm a long way from you but actually have a trip to Australia coming up next March, my first time there! I'm so looking forward to that!

That's exciting, I hope you give yourself plenty of time between states/capital cities. Unless you are flying (which also takes up time a 1hr flight with getting to the airport, checking in, going through security can take 4-5hrs) it is a hike between major cities. My offer definitely stands for if you're in Sydney too! All the best for you future adventures 😊

Flip

Swipe left for the next trending thread