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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To have said something to this mum

15 replies

Schooldaysagain · 02/09/2022 23:32

Today took my DS to a very popular theme park. It was absolutely heaving. We stopped to watch a ride and then a tiny boy, of no more than around 3 years, wonders up to us in absolute shock and worry calling out for is mum. He is in a state of absolute panic, saying I've lost my mum, I can hear my mum. I try to reassure him, thinking his mum will appear any second. Rather than walk off to look for his mum I decide it better to stand still as think he couldn't have gone far. About 5-10 minutes later a lady starts calling at me from behind the queueing fence, she asks me to pass the child to her as apparently his mum is waiting for him in the queue. You can imagine my alarm bells so I walk him as far as I can then pop him over the barrier as I see the lady talking to his mum and she gestures to her child to come to her. Obviously I'm so worried about the poor kid and it happens so quickly. I decided it best to walk around to the other end of the ride queue to check he's got back to his parent safely. I realised the mum was just literally still queueing for the ride and the child was so far away, there was no straight line of sight where he got to, it was literally on the other side of a building. And there was just still queuing for the ride! I am not normally a confrontational person but this incident shook me so much.

I got her attention and asked her if the kid was her son. I told her just how far away he had got and where I found him. I asked her to take greater care because it was just so busy. She just rolled her eyes and sniggered at me. I was so gob smacked.

So was I BU? Was I being a complete busy body or was I right to point out just how awfully far away he had wondered off. I know these things happen but her reaction was shocking. My own DS is 4 and I would've been having kittens.

OP posts:
bloodyunicorns · 02/09/2022 23:34

Yanbu at all. Sounds like she was lazy and negligent. Lucky for her ds that you were there.

DinkyDaisy · 02/09/2022 23:36

If I was the Mum I'd be so relieved, grateful etc that you wouldn't have needed to say that. It is their nonchalant attitude that drove you to say take care of your child. Yanbu.

Soapboxqueen · 02/09/2022 23:37

I don't think you were unreasonable but I doubt it will have any impact.

Sceptre86 · 02/09/2022 23:48

Some people shouldn't be allowed to be parents. Her response said it all. At least you were looking out for him.

Mumofnarnia · 16/02/2023 06:43

YANBA. As a PP has said, some people shouldn’t be parents. I was in a situation once where me and my parents decided to take my son to the seaside for the day. We went to a very large beach and while there, someone’s child (around 2 years old) just wandered up to us and started playing with my child. No parents in sight. We managed to locate the parents eventuall and they must have been at least a quarter of a mile further down the beach just laid sunbathing. The parents didn’t seem one bit bothered that their toddler had strolled so far away out of their sight. They then allowed the child to follow me back to where me and my parents were sat and seemed perfectly happy to allow me and my parents (who were complete strangers) to look after their child while they laid sunbathing!! Needless to say I handed their child back to them and told them I’m not their babysitter!

Somethingneedstochange78 · 18/02/2023 18:45

Well I wouldn't just stay in the queue and expect him to come back. I would be looking for him and yes it's best to stay in one place than walking around in circles.

Dominoeffecter · 18/02/2023 18:48

YANBU but it won’t change her. When we were on holiday and man and his son saved two distressed young children from a riptide, the parents hadn’t even noticed they were in trouble (they were too young to be in the sea alone and on bloody inflatables) and the didn’t bat an eyelid or say thank you when they had their sobbing kids returned to them.

AbsoluteYawns · 18/02/2023 18:51

Sceptre86 · 02/09/2022 23:48

Some people shouldn't be allowed to be parents. Her response said it all. At least you were looking out for him.

100 this!
She doesn't deserve to be a parent.
Thank goodness it was you there and not someone else.

MelaniesFlowers · 18/02/2023 18:56

The thing is, if she’s the type to allow her son to wander so far and not care after all that time, she isn’t going to thank you (as I would have done) for bringing him back.

She’s just going to think “wtf you panicking for he’s fine”.

Pseudonamed · 18/02/2023 18:57

And to think we need a license to own a television but anyone can have a child. YANBU.

Somethingneedstochange78 · 18/02/2023 19:05

That's terrible good greef. Some parents don't deserve the privelidge of being a parent. Poor child probably get's ignored so is used to looking for a family to play with him. Charlie Dunn drowned in similar circumstance. Other visitors were supervising him at that waterpark.

MissMarplesGoddaughter · 18/02/2023 19:08

OP - I would have done the same.

I hate, hate, hate that casual way of parenting. Children are so precious.

ShinyMe · 18/02/2023 19:15

Some people are just like that.

I once found a naked crying toddler on the road outside my house first thing in the morning, and tried to comfort her and find her mum. I was very careful not to touch her or be at all scary, and when mum finally strolled down the pavement with a pram and another child, she shouted at the toddler and at me "don't you fucking touch her!" and then grabbed her arm and lifted her into the pram by her arm. Not another word, just stomped off.

LadyKenya · 18/02/2023 19:18

The fact that you told her where you found the child, should have negated the need to tell her to take greater care. Hopefully it is not a regular occurrence.

WineCap · 18/02/2023 19:43

@ShinyMe That poor little girl. That sounds awful.

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