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AIBU?

AIBU, DP second job!

3 replies

Usernamesonly · 02/09/2022 20:30

I don't know if I'm just be OTT because I'm hormonal and tired but I'm super annoyed and need mumsnet honesty before I reflect my disappointment.

DP has a second job for delivery driving, he's done it for around a year and loves having the extra income as Rainy day money (and to be fair it has really helped in the past!). We're going on holiday in a month and we said about maybe grabbing some extra shifts if available for some extra holiday pocket money (we both work full time as it is and he does 2 evenings a week which is pretty tough but he genuinely enjoys it).

Tonight we both finished work and taken our DS out for the evening, we went on a lovely walk followed by dinner out. I catch him on the phone, he's only agreed to work this evening and has dropped me and DS for dinner on our own! I'm soooo disappointed! It's tough enough during the week and I know we said about some extra shifts but i would have thought these would have been planned and not when we have made plans already! Am I being selfish? I just feel like his decision is thoughtless. I'm so disappointed as was looking forward to this evening (and we don't NEED the money, it's just handy for the holiday).

Cant believe he chosen work over a rare family evening together.

OP posts:
Kite22 · 03/09/2022 00:07

Obviously it does sound a bit odd and I can see your disappointment but I think it is difficult for any of us to know just how much he can really pick and choose, or how much he has to take what extra shifts are available.

I don't know if this was a spontaneous walk / dinner (after he'd said to whoever arranges the shifts he could work some more) or some long planned - say birthday - meal out. Or if you only eat out once a year or if it is a more casual 2 or 3 times a month thing.
I don't know how old your ds is - I'd be very happy to go for a meal with a 15 yr old, not so much with a 3 yr old.

So I'm on the fence.

JulesCobb · 03/09/2022 00:11

How much of the parenting does he do on the other five nights?
what proportion of drop-offs and pick ups in a week?
is he doing anything else, like a hobby?
are you getting time to do anything else?

Porcupineintherough · 03/09/2022 00:20

He works full time plus two evenings a week and now also pick up some extra overtime. Well something has to give.

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