To want to manage the afternoons a bit better?

[Needmilk]

On the days I work, I’m generally home with DS by 4/430. He goes up for his bath at 630, so we have around two hours to fill.

He is generally a bit grumpy and tired after nursery (he is 2 in November) so actual structured activities are out, but he’s hard work at this time … how do others manage it?

If my DC was tired from a long day at nursery the last thing I'd do is leave them there longer for some 'me time' at a pool on a regular basis. That is so sad, the opposite of what they're needing and they grow so quickly and already spend the majority of waking hours in childcare. I cherish that time to read stories, dance, cuddle, do arty things, play with their toys, cook together, sensory play, go for a walk or a bit of nature time (think using a toddler carrier or walking at a snails pace looking at everything and climbing on walls, rather than marching a tired toddler around).

In autumn our routine was shop then a park on the way home. We did a seasonal table, so made art in the afternoon and displayed it with little things collected on our walks, and seasonal stories. We'd make the things, read the books, play with the bits and chat about it all. We added stuff for any big holidays or special events, eg Halloween, or things like playdoh meteors for the persaids. Then we'd make or bake something and eat it whilst watching something on TV in winter.

I think this sounds quite sad. I work full time and already feel bad that I don’t pick DS up till half four. He goes to bed at half 7. That’s three hours with the child that I chose to have. I’m all for a bit of me time but doesn’t seem quite right to delay picking up your toddler when they’ve already been apart from you all day if you don’t need to.

For a little one that seems like a fair bit of food so close together. Maybe he's genuinely tired after eating two meals so close together and it's making him a bit grumpy.

Woah - that was someone else’s suggestion, not mine!

Food wise, he just won’t eat if he isn’t hungry, never has. Which is a good quality in many ways, but I do sometimes worry he hasn’t had ‘enough.’ I just have to trust he knows when he’s had enough.

So today he’s had cereal, veg sticks, sausage mash and peas, yoghurt, beans on toast and two banana and date bars.

OP, we are on the same schedule with the same aged son, we usually pass the time by a long walk after nursery he loves spotting buses and trucks. Then a bit of Cebeebies and maybe some reading or sticker books.

Just simple chilled out stuff nothing too exciting. He been like to help/make more mess doing household chores like pretending to cook with empty pans and veg.

Even likes

Can you maybe just play with him? Follow his lead?

Yes, it’s more that he can be a bit fractious after nursery! Not always but sometimes, depends how well he’s slept.

If my DC was tired from a long day at nursery the last thing I'd do is leave them there longer for some 'me time' at a pool on a regular basis. That is so sad, the opposite of what they're needing and they grow so quickly and already spend the majority of waking hours in childcare

Meh, we’re all different! Pick up & home by 4-4.30 sounds really far from my experience of working when I was madly dashing to get to pick up by 6pm, so I would 100% give myself an extra 45 minutes to an hour if I worked PT with those hours on working days like the OP. There are other days in the week to give them full undivided attention. My DC all survived & thrived and the extra couple of hours with the childminder didn’t seem terrifically detrimental. They were doing the same stuff there in the afternoons (eat, play, TV) as they’d be doing at their own house.

It’s totally cool not to choose to leave them there later but it’s also a valid choice to extend their day in childcare a bit. It’s not the workhouse.

I would also take him up earlier for the bath - something like 6-6.30 bath, 6.30-7 massage and stories. I get not wanting to do much screen time - mine would all sit for a good hour or so of stories at that age, with lots of chat about what was going on in the books - and you could do library at least one afternoon a week to refresh story pile? (If you have a library available.)
Then I’d echo other suggestions like puzzles, toddler friendly board games, colouring, play doh…

But to be honest if he’s too exhausted to engage in anything like that, I’d get him to bed earlier but maybe extend the bedtime routine a bit to include more stories/songs/etc.

DD gets home about 4-30ish from preschool. We typically have about half an hour of cuddles, telling us about her day, climbing over us and the furniture and playing with her toys. Then about 5-15pm she has her tea, and we sit at the table with her. After tea she gets one episode of a TV programme of her choice, then we play a game or read books together. Bathtime about 6pm, into bed by 6-30pm.

If you want to avoid screen time I think I’d be tempted to do bath time when you get in and let him play for as long as he wants. Mine will play for ages in the bath and sometimes it’s nice to do it not as part of bedtime as then it can go on as long as they fancy. Then PJs, snack and story time on the sofa then maybe some quiet activities like play dough, sticker books, water painting on one of those mats that can be reused, duplo, train track etc before going up for story and bed routine.

Mine isn’t that keen on the bath. He does enjoy it but only for fifteen minutes, twenty at a push. So we go up 630, then teeth / bath and then read some stories then bed at 7.

I must admit I didn't let my DC at 2 watch TV. You could go for a buggy walk in the park but would he then have a danger nap?

Aside from that if he is tired I would look at books together and read him stories, maybe some simple jigsaws or colouring books.

Doesn't seem like many of the suggestions suit you tbh! If you don't want to go to the park, don't want to put the tv on, don't want to give him a slightly longer bath etc etc ... I'm not sure what there is left!

Bath at 4:30 to 5 (on bath nights). TV and decent snack (I would be serving a small version of our dinner) at 5:30. Story and bed.

I agree. I had a day off with mine which was totally focussed on them, I didn't feel bad about picking up at 5. With my first, I used to drop off later and enjoy quality time in the morning when he was on much better form

@QuikQ - it’s just for ideas. Some things may not suit us, it doesn’t mean they won’t suit anyone. We are just talking (aren’t we?)

We don't do much after nursery. She has an afternoon tea there at 3.30, home by 4.30. Then it's proper tea time. A bit of colouring and play. A bit of calm TV or music. Then bath, story and bed - and that's the time filled from 4.30-6.30/7!

I have a 2.5 yr old DD at nursery 3 days a week. I pick her up between 5:30-6pm then usually stop at the supermarket on the way home. She generally doesn't want too much tv after nursery- she would rather potter about with her toys / drawing / painting etc. We got her some street chalks for drawing outside on the patio which she loves. Dinner is 6:45pm- 7:15pm, then downtime til 8pm then bath then bed with lights out at 9pm (she is a night owl). She loves stories & would have me read them for hours if i could.

Could you extend / start bed time earlier to include more stories? (If the whole bed time routine is only 30 mins inc 15-20 mins bath time that can't include too many stories?).

I guess just let him play and play with him? It’s not long. What do you do with him at home at the weekends? What toys does he like?

My youngest is the same age. I work PT so we have whole days to fill. While at home we make train tracks, marble runs, play with cars, do baking, help me ‘cook’ (high chair in the kitchen and put random bits of food to mix on the tray), painting on highchair tray, colouring, read books together (this isn’t a strange thing for the age?!), play in the garden. Tv for half an hour or so, it doesn’t need to be 2 hours or nothing. There are some programmes like ‘colours’ and ‘daydreams’ on cbeebies which are very good for winding down.

I found that teatime stretch very, very hard at that age. DS had stopped napping so he was cross and would settle to nothing, and if I turned my back on him or put him in the car or buggy he would crash into a 3 hour sleep and then be awake ALL NIGHT.

We used to potter down to the playground on the corner or go to the shop or he would have a long bath. The only thing that really solved it was time, I'm afraid.

Sit and read to him, play with him - trains, duplo, tea set, jigsaws, cars. Play nursery rhymes or gentle music on Alexa (or a radio!) a bit of TV is fine. Take him to the park on warm, sunny late afternoons for half an hour.

I always give my DS dinner at home, even though he gets a big lunch at nursery then tea at 4pm. Nursery tea doesn’t keep him going until bedtime at 7ish. Giving him something to eat, even a light meal, and sit with him while he eats it, then playing, bath-time, teeth cleaning and stories until bed should fill the time.

Should also have suggested colouring in and painting as nice, quiet activities. My 3 y/o is very in your sticklebricks now too.